Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Articles for tag 'D/s relationship'

Articles

Ask lunaKM – Can I make it in this lifestyle?

Ask lunaKM – Can I make it in this lifestyle?

I was curious about bdsm before I knew what it was. I knew I liked being spanked, being told what to do, etc. I started looking into bdsm but haven’t mentioned it to my boyfriend of 3.5 years because I’m afraid he’ll think I’m a weird, for lack of a better word. Although he knows [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Learn to Submit
What Do You Mean When You Say Communicate? I am Communicating!

What Do You Mean When You Say Communicate? I am Communicating!

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. People in the D/s and BDSM lifestyles love to say this word. We emphasize that it’s the cornerstone of the relationship, that it is the key to a successful relationship and that negotiation, a form of communication, needs to be done on a regular basis depending on the situation and relationship type. [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Learn to Submit
Everything That’s Wrong with Your Limits List – And How To Fix It

Everything That’s Wrong with Your Limits List – And How To Fix It

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 3/8/14 Limits are those boundaries that we set for ourselves because of physical, emotional, mental, social or psychological hesitations, morals or values we want to uphold and dislike for some things. For most submissives we put together a rudimentary limits list as soon as we know what BDSM is and [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Basics, Newsletter Archive
Answered: Your Burning Questions About What Is Expected Of You As a Submissive

Answered: Your Burning Questions About What Is Expected Of You As a Submissive

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 2/15/14 As a novice submissive it can be an exciting endeavor to enter into a relationship right away before you know anything about BDSM or D/s, or even being introduced to the dynamic from someone you met online or face to face. People do it everyday. It is also one [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Learn to Submit, Newsletter Archive

So You Want to Share Your Kink with Your Vanilla Partner

This is a guest post by Boundobedience.  I read a lot of questions and answers from people who are into BDSM and are with people who may or may not also be into BDSM as well. There are two groups that I generally see. Well, three, but the group that successful manages to convert their [...]

1 comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Relationships
Why I Could Never Return to a Vanilla Relationship

Why I Could Never Return to a Vanilla Relationship

I didn’t know I was submissive when I was in my last vanilla relationship.  I never would have guessed it at all and would have denied it if someone made the suggestion.  I was too independent to be submissive (so I thought).  I did, however, have a lingering fascination with rope and bondage after my [...]

7 comments Posted by pinksubgeek | Posted in: Learn to Submit

Why Identifying Your Wants and Needs is So Important

Wants and needs. As novice submissives we hear this phrase over and over. Make sure you know your wants and needs. Does this person or that person fulfill your wants and needs? How should we talk about our wants and needs with someone? First, let’s define them. Need: Something that is not negotiable for a [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Learn to Submit
4 Things You Should Not Put Up With Just Because He’s a Dominant

4 Things You Should Not Put Up With Just Because He’s a Dominant

I’ve been in relationships before. I know how they should work, or at least I think I do. Sometimes I wonder if everyone has forgotten how things are supposed to work just because they are in a D/s relationship instead of a vanilla one. Many of the questions on social networking for kinky people stems [...]

4 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Learn to Submit
How To Ask for More Without Being a Pushy Submissive

How To Ask for More Without Being a Pushy Submissive

“I want my Dominant to spank me more.” “How can I tell him I need more praise and approval without topping from the bottom?” “I need more attention, how can I tell him without being pushy?” “Can I tell him I love him and still be submissive? “How do I tell him that my needs [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Learn to Submit, Relationships
The Longing of Being Owned

The Longing of Being Owned

I remember it was about ten years ago when I was first introduced to the Sleeping Beauty trilogy by Anne Rice. I had stumbled across the series by accident while browsing the erotica section of a local bookstore. I had no idea what they were about but had read a lot of Anne Rice’s works [...]

6 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Learn to Submit
Ask lunaKM – Forced to Lose Weight, Snarky Submissives and Looking for Community

Ask lunaKM – Forced to Lose Weight, Snarky Submissives and Looking for Community

Dear lunaKM, I have been with my Master for a number of months. Most of the time our relationship is great and we have a very strong bond. My only problem is that he seems to have a fixation with my weight. When I first met him he asked me to lose a few pounds. [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything
Book Review: Leading and Supportive Love

Book Review: Leading and Supportive Love

The truth about Dominant and submissive relationships isn’t that we are an alternative lifestyle within the BDSM arena, it’s that we are a strong and supportive relationship type that goes beyond and sometimes without kink. Chris Lyon has written a fantastic book that does a great job describing and detailing the two roles of a [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Reviews
Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship: The Big Meet

Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship: The Big Meet

As I mentioned in my introduction to this series, online submission is a bit of a hot-button among D/s practitioners. There are a lot of great arguments for why it doesn’t work, and for each of those, there’s an equally strong counterargument for why it’s a perfectly valid arrangement; but chances are, unless you’re submitting [...]

3 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Learn to Submit, Relationships, Stay Safe
Ask lunaKM – Another Batch of Quick Answers

Ask lunaKM – Another Batch of Quick Answers

Hi Luna! Do you feel that another submissive would be a better Mentor to a novice submissive rather than another Dominant? I personally feel that a person of similar role to you can advise and mentor you better than someone who could be your Dominant. So if you are a slave, you should have a [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything
Developing Effective Communication in Long Distance Relationships

Developing Effective Communication in Long Distance Relationships

To say that communication is important in a relationship is like saying that man must breathe to live: one simply shouldn’t have to specify its importance. Yet somehow, although I have never heard of a person who died because he forgot how to breathe, I have seen many relationships fall apart due to a distinct [...]

2 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Learn to Submit, Online Submission
Keys to a Successful Relationship – Honesty is Really the Best Policy

Keys to a Successful Relationship – Honesty is Really the Best Policy

This is an ongoing series where I will be writing about key factors it takes to have a successful relationship. This second article is about the importance that honesty plays in our relationships. The first one is It’s All About Communication I remember growing up, I always heard from the adults around me that honesty [...]

2 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Learn to Submit
Male submission – Financial Domination

Male submission – Financial Domination

Financial Domination is an area of BDSM which often elicits strong opinions. With other BDSM activities such as spanking and bondage, at some point after the Safe, Sane, and Consensual scene is over there is no damage done and things are typically physically back to the way they were. However, if a sub’s money is [...]

8 comments Posted by ted_subby | Posted in: Male Submission, Relationships
Ask lunaKM – Pushing Limits, Exploring as a Top and Talking to Therapists

Ask lunaKM – Pushing Limits, Exploring as a Top and Talking to Therapists

Dear lunaKM, I am a new submissive.  I have been in a relationship with my Dominant for about a year.  I am struggling because my Dominant wants me to explore and push my limits.  He knows that I have had group sex experiences in my past and that they were not positive.   He knows [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything
lunaKM’s Weekend Reflections

lunaKM’s Weekend Reflections

My wrists have been terrible the past few days. I haven’t had a carpal tunnel flare up this bad since November. I’ve been writing less and thinking more. I have dreams and plans but can’t act on them just yet. Once my wrists are better I’ll get to work on things. This week has been [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Weekend Reflections
Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship: Introduction

Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship: Introduction

After writing “Rules for the Working Sub” my Dom suggested that I continue writing articles that focus on the long distance aspects of our relationship. At her encouragement, I’ve decided to try my hand at a series which I hope will be of help to anyone who is involved, or is thinking of becoming involved, [...]

6 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Learn to Submit, Online Submission
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