By lunaKM on August 18, 2010
From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 2/6/10 (Caveat: I am not an expert historian of BDSM. What I have learned I picked up along the way. I can’t say with certainty what is true and what is false. I have made every effort to let you know if I’m uncertain of the validity of a certain [...]
Posted in Newsletter Archive, Social Norms | Tagged acceptance, chat rooms, community, danger, false information, Impact, internet, munch, purpose, submissive guide newsletter |
By nan {SL} on May 10, 2010
Did you miss part 1? You can read it here. In Part 1, we looked at the information that you should try to gather when starting to interact with an unknown Dom/me. However, there are other warning signs that can appear once you start to develop a relationship with your new Dom/me. Evaluating your training [...]
Posted in Safety | Tagged abuse, danger, experience, negotiation, predators, safe words, serving, training, warning signs |
By lunaKM on February 13, 2010
This video post is about what not to share on your online profile. We all have one somewhere. FetLife being all the rage right now, but also we have alt.com, collarme.com, bondage.com and others where we place ads and identity profiles up to get people interested. This interest can be friends or relationship related; it [...]
Posted in Safety, Video Posts | Tagged abuse, Alt.com, Bondage, Bondage.com, CollarMe, cons, danger, dangers, dating, depression, email, false sense of security, family, fetlife, friends, information, internet, online, Online dating, online profiles, profile safety, relationship, rt, safe, Safety, security, Service, share, share photos, sharing, support, tips |
By Guest Author on January 11, 2010
This is another guest post for the BDSM Play Feature here on SubmissiveGuide. This post about Fire Play is by Gwendolyn. Enjoy! I have always been a fire bug and am a volunteer fire fighter. So when I became interested in BDSM and heard about fire play it was definitely top of my list of [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged amazon.com, basics, BDSM, bdsm play, bdsm play feature, book, bottom, cons, danger, Dom, Domme, email, event, events, experience, feature series, fetlife, fire cupping, fire drumming, fire fleshing, fire flogging, fire play, fire whipping, focus, friends, friendships, guest post, Gwendolyn, health, information, learned, leather, love, m/s, online, opinion, pain tolerance, play, poly, questions, review, risk, rt, safe, Safety, scene, Service, single, slave, stress, submissive, support, toy, toys, trust, websites, writing |
By lunaKM on September 21, 2009
I’ve always believed that safewords are only good if you know how to use them. Good ole communication is great for things like numb limbs, an itch you can’t reach or a bathroom break. Submissive Guide is here for novices and it’s always good to teach about safewords and recommend that you have one. In [...]
Posted in Safety | Tagged acceptance, advice, bath, BDSM, bdsm play, beginning bdsm, blogs, book, communication, cons, consensual, danger, desires, Dom, dominant, information, kajira, learned, needs, negotiation, novice, novices, partners, play, relationship, Relationships, risk, rt, safe, Safety, safewords, sane, security, share, stress, submissive, trust |
By lunaKM on September 9, 2009
You know you’ve entered online submissive ground when everyone you don’t know starts to refer to you as sister. It’s been years since I’ve ‘lived’ online but this is something that has always irked me. Recently on FetLife I saw a question that had an interesting twist to the whole sister submissive thing that I’d [...]
Posted in Online Submission | Tagged BDSM, blind faith, comfort, D/s, danger, Dom, dominant, dominants, experience, family, fantasy, fetlife, friends, Gor, grace, guest post, health, help, lifestyle, nurtured, online, Online Submission, opinion, perfect world, poly, preference, questions, real life, real world, relationship, Relationships, rt, Service, share, sister, sister sub, standing, submission, submissive, support, understanding, value |
By lunaKM on September 5, 2009
This week’s video post is about an issue that needs more awareness. I had someone ask me for some advice through my email the other day and it went something like this: I just started exploring my kinky side and I’ve only shared it with a few other people. One person that found out started [...]
Posted in Safety, Video Posts | Tagged abuse, advice, ask me, assistance, assistance programs, BDSM, cons, consensual, danger, Dom, domestic violence awareness, domestic violence awareness month, domestic violence project, email, family, fear, help, kinky, kinky side, leather, national domestic violence awareness month, national leather association, needs, NLA-I DVP, relationship, Relationships, rt, safe, Service, share, submission, submissive, support, value |
By lunaKM on August 8, 2009
This week’s video post is on First Meetings Safety. When you are ready to meet your dream Dominant for the first time, what goes through your mind? Do you think about safety at all or do the nervousness and excitment overload your common sense? You may not think that safety is necessary for someone you’ve [...]
Posted in Safety, Video Posts | Tagged blind date, choice, choices, comfort, common sense, D/s, danger, dates, dating, Dom, dominant, dominants, dress, first meetings, information, munch, nervousness, normal, online, personal safety, play, questions, relationship, rt, safe, safe call, Safety, security, short, value, wants |
By lunaKM on June 6, 2009
Exploring submission play can involve intense sensation. As a normal part of some submissive’s play is sub space. Not everyone reaches subspace each and every time and you can not expect to reach it at all. Sub space is a way your body responds to endorphins. Described as similar to a runner’s high this is [...]
Posted in Playtime | Tagged danger, Dom, dominant, endorphins, essays, experience, favorite, friends, internet, m/s, mental space, Mindset, normal, novice, play, relationship, rt, safe, stress, sub space, submission, submissive, subspace, trust |
By lunaKM on June 3, 2009
Submissive Frenzy is a state of mind that you may experience at any point in your submission. It is most commonly associated with new submissives, but it can also come about when more seasoned submissives end a relationship or even during a relationship. During submissive frenzy, you may feel a desperate need to have your [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged activities, BDSM, BDSM withdrawl, common sense, cons, danger, decisions, desires, Dom, dominant, event, experience, fall in love, friends, lifestyle, love, natural, needs, novice, play, relationship, risk, rt, safe, stress, sub frenzy, submission, submissive, submissive frenzy, trust |
By lunaKM on April 10, 2009
One of the first questions a new submissive asks themselves is are they normal for desiring the things they do. This could be kinky sex, humiliation or service. Anything that appears to fall outside the vanilla umbrella can cause a novice to question if they are normal. This in fact, is normal. Everyone questions themselves [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged acceptance, BDSM, Bondage, comfort, danger, desires, experience, kinky, love, normal, normalcy, novice, questions, relationship, Relationships, risk, rt, Service, sex, standing, submissive, understanding |
By lunaKM on March 23, 2009
If you’ve been around the BDSM and D/s scene at all there is one of many books that always comes up in conversation as a good book to read when you are new to the whole lifestyle. This book is Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by [...]
Posted in Reviews | Tagged abuse, advice, amazon.com, basics, BDSM, Bondage, book, books, community, cons, consensual, D/s, danger, Dom, Dominance, dominant, emotions, endorphins, etiquette, experience, explanations, female, help, Impact, impact play, information, kinky, learning, library, lifestyle, limits, love, manners, Masochism, molly devon, negotiation, novice, novices, philip miller, play, player, recommended reading, relationship, Relationships, review, roles, romance, rt, safe, Safety, sane, scene, screw the roses, sex, SSC, standing, submission, submissive, support, tips, toy, toys, tricks, understanding |
By lunaKM on March 6, 2009
Recently there has been a lot of talk about Feminism and it’s role in society where it’s related (or not related) to submission in a D/s context. I read kaya’s post from Under His Hand, that while being a rant, was a well thought out discussion on how narrow minded a lot of feminists are [...]
Posted in Social Norms, Submission | Tagged choice, choices, D/s, danger, discussion, Dom, dominant, family, female, feminism, feminist movement, movement, norms, opinion, opposing views, poll, relationship, rt, single, societal views, submission, winner |
A once-a-month newsletter/e-zine written for service oriented people, by service oriented people in M/s, D/s or Leather relationships. Current contributors are all slave or submissive identified, and in real time relationships where obedience and service are necessary, valued skills, achieved over time. I have been fortunate enough to meet these lovely people all over the [...]
By lunaKM on February 20, 2009
Predators and abusive Dominants are everywhere. I’ve seen them and been subjected to them in a casual relationship. Thankfully I escaped into a kind and loving relationship that I wouldn’t trade for the world. But how do you know the person you are with is an abuser and not just a strict Dominant? I’m going [...]
Posted in BDSM Basics, Safety | Tagged abuse, abusive relationships, assistance, BDSM, clothing, connection, danger, dangers, dating, Dom, domestic violence project, dominant, dominants, essays, family, guilt, help, internet, learning, leather, limits, love, national leather association, needs, play, predators, red flags, relationship, Relationships, rt, safe, safe words, Safety, sex, support, trust, warning signs, warnings |
By lunaKM on February 18, 2009
As a novice submissive in this technology age you typically explore submission online in chat room and in instant messaging. There is nothing wrong with this avenue for dipping your toe in the water. There are, however, very real dangers that predators use to capture novices and can do more harm to your curiosity than [...]
Posted in Online Submission, Safety | Tagged activities, BDSM, blind faith, book, chat, chat room, cons, D/s, danger, dangers, Dom, dominant, health, information, internet, learned, natural, negotiation, novice, novices, online, online D/s, Online dating, online experiences, predators, purpose, questions, rt, Safety, sex, single, stress, submission, submissive, trust, wants |
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This month I'd like to feature Protocols: Handbook for the female slave by Robert Rubel PhD. A book on protocol in a D/s Leather Household.
My name is lunaKM and I’m a full-time submissive in a D/s relationship. I am webslut to 
