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Articles for tag 'conversation'

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Finding Your Submissive Voice: Speak Up for Better, Honest Communication

How much to say to their Dominant? When to say it? Can they say anything? What if s/he thinks I’m rude? Would it be better to not say anything? What is appropriate?

4 comments Posted by Mrs. Darling | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Fifty Shades of Grey, Consent and the Media’s Representation of Kink

Fifty Shades of Grey, Consent and the Media’s Representation of Kink

We all knew that the Fifty Shades of Grey movie would bring about a conversation regarding BDSM, non-vanilla relationships, and the nature of consent between adult sexual partners.  I read an article discussing the “impact” of the film, and it got me thinking. In the interests of full disclosure, I will tell you that I [...]

Leave a comment Posted by pinksubgeek | Posted in: BDSM Fundamentals, Community
Communicating While Submissive

Communicating While Submissive

This is a guest post by Xiao Yingtai. Doms keep telling us that they’re not mind-readers, so we have to communicate. But it’s hard! Especially when it’s something they might not want to hear. The good news is that there is always a submissive way to say it. And you never have to compromise the message. Here is [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Personal Growth
What Do You Mean When You Say Communicate? I am Communicating!

What Do You Mean When You Say Communicate? I am Communicating!

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. People in the D/s and BDSM lifestyles love to say this word. We emphasize that it’s the cornerstone of the relationship, that it is the key to a successful relationship and that negotiation, a form of communication, needs to be done on a regular basis depending on the situation and relationship type. [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics

How to Turn Your Submissive Experience Into Education for Your Dominant

From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 6/1/13 We don’t often think about the submissive having anything to teach the Dominant, and in many cases a Dominant is teaching the submissive. There’s nothing wrong with that, but when the submissive has more experience or learning in an area it does make it easier if the Dominant is [...]

5 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Relationships, Service

How To Manage, Increase and Explore Pain Tolerances in SM Play

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 5/18/13 Whether you are a hard-core masochist or just a light explorer of sadomasochistic pain play there are always opportunies to experience more, push yourself harder and enhance your pain management techniques. How you learn to do this, and the techniques you employ are unique from submissive to submissive (masochist [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Play and Sex
Developing Effective Communication in Long Distance Relationships

Developing Effective Communication in Long Distance Relationships

To say that communication is important in a relationship is like saying that man must breathe to live: one simply shouldn’t have to specify its importance. Yet somehow, although I have never heard of a person who died because he forgot how to breathe, I have seen many relationships fall apart due to a distinct [...]

4 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Online Submission
Keys to a Successful Relationship-It’s All About Communication

Keys to a Successful Relationship-It’s All About Communication

This is the first in an ongoing series where I will be writing about key factors it takes to have a successful relationship. This first article is about the importance that communication plays in our relationships. Awhile ago, I came across this article in the NY Times about how BDSM has become a bit more [...]

6 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Is The Influx of Bossy Newbies Killing Old School Traditions?

Is The Influx of Bossy Newbies Killing Old School Traditions?

My question is not so much specifically for a submissive, to be honest, i don’t know where to go about this. But after all i have read from you, Luna, i respect your opinions & views & thought you would be best to ask. I have noticed that in the last few years, so many [...]

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Community
The Ring and the Collar: A Personal Opinion on the Symbolism of a Collar

The Ring and the Collar: A Personal Opinion on the Symbolism of a Collar

I am a product of the 80’s, which I think is the greatest decade, ever. I may be a bit partial with my thinking. The music, television, and especially the movies is what makes the 80’s such a memorable decade. One of my favorite movies from that era is “The Princess Bride”. To me, that’s [...]

8 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Relationships
Introducing BDSM to a Partner: Twitter Chat May 22, 2013 #domsubchat

Introducing BDSM to a Partner: Twitter Chat May 22, 2013 #domsubchat

Are you a twitteraholic? This might be the chat for you! Join Submissive Guide and Dominant Guide as we co-host our first twitter chat on How to Introduce BDSM to a Partner. You will want to follow @subgiude and @domguide and use the hashtag #domsubchat for any conversation during our chat. I hope to see [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Views & More...

Dealing with Stress in a D/s Relationship

Today’s question is about handling when the D/s is shelved due to external (or internal) stress. Hi Luna, I wanted to ask you about when a relationship is going through a rough patch, and neither partner can seem to find it within them to fulfill their previous D/s roles. My Sir is dealing with a [...]

7 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
10 Tips to Calm Your Nerves When Meeting a Dominant for the First Time

10 Tips to Calm Your Nerves When Meeting a Dominant for the First Time

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 1/19/13 First date jitters are perfectly normal, but it’s a good idea to calm your nerves prior to meeting your date. Before any first date, avoid thinking about the countless “what if” scenarios and simply go without any expectations. Unfortunately, the nervous energy attached to meeting a Dominant for the [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Relationships
The Chase is On – Communicating Openly With Your Dominant

The Chase is On – Communicating Openly With Your Dominant

I was talking with a friend of mine awhile ago and she said something that really piqued my attention. She was telling me about her boyfriend and how upset she is over the fact that he won’t chase after her. They had some kind of argument and stormed out of the apartment. She got in [...]

11 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Rule #1 – Don’t Touch Anything Without Permission

Rule #1 – Don’t Touch Anything Without Permission

I’ve been involved with local and regional BDSM groups since I first learned about BDSM in 2003. You get to meet a lot of people during events and some of them have quirks and perversions that you’ve never heard of. You’ll meet white collar, blue collar and poverty stricken people in the same room enjoying [...]

5 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: BDSM Fundamentals, Community
Living M/s Book Club – Week 4

Living M/s Book Club – Week 4

Welcome everyone to week 4 of the book club here on Submissive Guide. As a reminder, this book club is going to be a bit more free form than the last one. I won’t present questions in the post itself. Use this post as a forum thread and talk among the other commenters. I will [...]

4 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Roundtable Discussions
What To Do When You Encounter Limits Mid Scene

What To Do When You Encounter Limits Mid Scene

Imagine this; you are playing and happily enjoying what is going on between the two of you. As the scene continues you start to feel pushed to your limit, but you continue to play. Then, almost without warning you hit a wall and (hopefully) safeword. You’ve just hit a limit. It could be a temporary [...]

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Play and Sex
Living M/s Book Club Event – Week 3

Living M/s Book Club Event – Week 3

Welcome everyone to week 3 of the book club here on Submissive Guide. As a reminder, this book club is going to be a bit more free form than the last one. I won’t present questions in the post itself. Use this post as a forum thread and talk among the other commenters. I will [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Roundtable Discussions

[Video Post] How To Help Your Dominant Through Dom Drop

How do you care for a Dom/Master who is suffering dom drop?  What should a sub do to help them through this? It seems that they get reclusive.  Is this normal? Today’s Ask Anything question I thought I’d give special attention and make it a video post. A common conversation in BDSM circles is sub [...]

6 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything, Video Posts
Living M/s Book Club Event – Week 2

Living M/s Book Club Event – Week 2

Welcome everyone to week 2 of the book club here on Submissive Guide. As a reminder, this book club is going to be a bit more free form than the last one. I won’t present questions in the post itself. Use this post as a forum thread and talk among the other commenters. I will [...]

6 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Roundtable Discussions
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