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Browse: Home / communication

communication

Well, what’re ya gonna do when he wants to chop your finger off?

Well, what’re ya gonna do when he wants to chop your finger off?

By Rayne on April 26, 2010

I said before I’m a “no limits” slave.  Bring on the barrage of “What if your master wanted to cut your arm off?” type questions. There are few scenarios related to what most would consider safe and sane kink that I will attempt to avoid, but when it comes right down to it, if The [...]

Posted in Safety | Tagged communication, limits, logic, no limits slavery, novice experiences, safe words, scenarios, slave, trust | 8 Responses

Chemistry and Prince Charming

Chemistry and Prince Charming

By Guest Author on April 12, 2010

This is a guest post by kahluna. It’s funny to me to see people wanting a Dominant but then looking for “chemistry” as well. They want to fall in love with the Dominant of their dreams. Apparently, these submissives have come into the lifestyle thinking that a Dominant is BDSMs version of Prince Charming. Ladies, [...]

Posted in Relationships | Tagged checklist, common sense, communication, D/s relationship, Dom, dominant, fall in love, love, myths, Relationships, romance, skills | 7 Responses

Honest Communication or Bust

Honest Communication or Bust

By Rayne on March 22, 2010

I’m sitting here, staring at the blank page, turning over and over in my mind what I could possibly write about.  There’s so much information, here at Submissive Guide, already, that I’m not even sure where to begin.  The beginning’s where I usually start.  But I think I’m going to start at what was almost [...]

Posted in Relationships | Tagged communication, dynamic relations, expectations, personal thoughts, Rayne's story, relationship, transparency | 6 Responses

When it is Okay to Top From the Bottom

By lunaKM on February 19, 2010

Topping from the bottom has been given a bad wrap. It’s considered by many to be a faux paux for any submissive. Online communities shun and shame many people who even ask about the subject and want to know if what they did was considered wrong. Too many people tell these people that yes it [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged body language, common sense, communication, experience, faux paux, negotiation, scene, topping from the bottom | 1 Response

Sub v. Slave: A Second Opinion

Sub v. Slave: A Second Opinion

By Guest Author on November 18, 2009

This is a guest post by Beth, as she will tell you, she’s a 24/7 slave of 2 years and would like to express what she sees as the differences between sub and slave. If you would like to read Rayne’s opinion, you can do so on this post. First off I would like to introduce [...]

Posted in Submission | Tagged 24/7, BDSM, bdsm lifestyle, Beth, bottom, choice, choices, communication, cons, consensual, definitions, discipline, fetlife, guest post, learned, lifestyle, limits, online, opinion, play, punishment, punishments, Rayne, rt, scene, size, slave, slavery, submissive, training, twitter, writing | 1 Response

Submissive and Slave: A Personal View

Submissive and Slave: A Personal View

By Rayne on November 11, 2009

This post was written by Rayne. You can follow her twitter for active and interesting conversation. I’m pretty big on book definitions. So for me, the word “submissive” has always been an adjective describing a personality trait. When I got involved in BDSM, it became, for me, a heading, of sorts, describing a group of [...]

Posted in Submission | Tagged 24/7, BDSM, blogs, book, bottom, choice, communication, community, cons, control, definitions, desires, Dom, dominant, dominants, guest post, IRC, labels, lifestyle, limits, m/s, masochist, needs, owned, perfect world, play, play parties, power exchange, progress, protocol, Rayne, relationship, Relationships, review, rt, rules, safe, safe words, scene, series, Service, sex, short, slave, submission, submissive, toy, transparency, twitter | 1 Response

The Disposable Relationship Mentality

The Disposable Relationship Mentality

By lunaKM on October 26, 2009

I’ve been witness to a shocking new trend in relationships lately. Perhaps I’m old school or old fashioned but what I’m seeing in today’s society, and not just the BDSM culture, is the lack of effort in relationships. As I was raised I was taught that something worthwhile wasn’t always easy to achieve and you [...]

Posted in Relationships | Tagged advice, BDSM, begging, communication, cons, disposable, disposable relationship mentality, disposable relationships, experience, family, happiness, love, marriage, online, questions, recommendations, relationship, Relationships, ritual, rt, spirit, spiritual, standing, understanding | 5 Responses

When Protocol Becomes Boring

When Protocol Becomes Boring

By lunaKM on October 21, 2009

Protocol. It can be a scary word if you are new to submission. In a relationship, it is likely that you will have some protocol established to control your behavior. So, what is protocol? Simply defined, protocol is the set of special rules that you follow for defined situations that remind you of your place [...]

Posted in Rituals and Routines | Tagged BDSM, bdsm fiction, book, books, communication, cons, control, Dom, dominant, essays, etiquette, event, experience, fantasy, focus, happiness, help, learned, leather, lifestyle, m/s, meditation, Mindset, normal, online, play, progress, protocol, RACK, relationship, review, ritual, routine, rt, rules, scene, sensuous, sex, stress, submission | 2 Responses

Chat Night Transcript From Sub Space and Sub Drop Talk

By lunaKM on September 24, 2009

<~luna[KM]> Now I’d like to hear from everyone… have you experienced subspace? If you don’t know if you have, it’s okay. <selene1123> i’m pretty new…so i think i have but am not sure <slavelauren> i have <radiogirl> I most definitely have <pet_rain> i’m not sure  i think i would like a clear definition i’v heard [...]

Posted in Views & More... | Tagged 24/7, aftercare, balance, bath, chat, chat night, comfort, communication, connection, cons, definitions, Dom, Dominance, dress, email, emotional state, emotions, endorphins, experience, focus, happiness, healing, help, limits, love, munch, normal, play, PMS, relationship, Relationships, ritual, rt, safe, safewords, scene, separation, serving, share, shower, slave, sorry, spirit, spiritual, stress, Study, sub drop, sub space, submissive chat, subspace, tall, transcript, writing | 1 Response

The Safety Disguise of Safewords

The Safety Disguise of Safewords

By lunaKM on September 21, 2009

I’ve always believed that safewords are only good if you know how to use them. Good ole communication is great for things like numb limbs, an itch you can’t reach or a bathroom break.  Submissive Guide is here for novices and it’s always good to teach about safewords and recommend that you have one. In [...]

Posted in Safety | Tagged acceptance, advice, bath, BDSM, bdsm play, beginning bdsm, blogs, book, communication, cons, consensual, danger, desires, Dom, dominant, information, kajira, learned, needs, negotiation, novice, novices, partners, play, relationship, Relationships, risk, rt, safe, Safety, safewords, sane, security, share, stress, submissive, trust | 2 Responses

Nonverbal Ways to Safeword

Nonverbal Ways to Safeword

By lunaKM on September 2, 2009

At the beginning of this blog I wrote about safewords. Just a reminder that a safeword is a signal that ends BDSM play and usually negotiated before play.  It’s an excellent starting point but I left a part of it out. There will be occasions during BDSM play where you will be unable to speak. [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged BDSM, bdsm play, bottom, clean, communication, daddy, gags, grace, m/s, newsletter, nonverbal clues, play, restraints, ritual, rt, safe, safe objects, safe words, safewords, scene, Service, sister, slave, stress, submissive, wants | 5 Responses

A Lesson in Control with Self-Punishment

A Lesson in Control with Self-Punishment

By lunaKM on August 10, 2009

Each and every day there is the chance to scew up and be disobedient. Luckily, most of us won’t break rules every single day but when we do we know that punishment will come swiftly and precisely. That is, unless you are an online submissive. Then there are a few other steps to having punishment [...]

Posted in Online Submission, Relationships | Tagged BDSM, blogs, book, calendar, chat, chat room, clothing, communication, control, Dom, dominant, email, essays, event, favorite, focus, growth, help, infraction, learning, lectures, limits, negotiation, obedience, online, online D/s, orgasms, public punishment, punishment, punishments, purpose, relationship, Relationships, rt, rules, self punishment ideas, self-discipline, sex, sexual chastisement, single, submission, submissive, tasks, trust, writing, writing essays | 6 Responses

Banishment as a Form of Punishment: How Do You Cope?

Banishment as a Form of Punishment: How Do You Cope?

By lunaKM on June 24, 2009

“Go to your room!” Yes even  adults in power exchange relationships get treated like children sometimes. A common tool for Dominants in their punishment arsenal is removal. You can be removed from the activity and sent to a time out area. For me that’s the kitchen. Ugh. I hate when I’m banished there. I can [...]

Posted in Mindset | Tagged 2WBSP, apologizing, atonement, banishment, communication, connection, cons, cyber relationships, Dom, dominant, dominants, email, event, hands, infraction, online, Online Submission, power exchange, punishment, relationship, Relationships, rt, separation, short, submission, submissive | 4 Responses

Just Wait Till Your Father Gets Home: Telling Your Family

By lunaKM on May 30, 2009

This post is from Norische. She allows anyone to post her articles anywhere they will do some good. I could not come up with a better way to say what she does in this article. Please enjoy and comment! I’d love to hear if you have told your family and how it went. “So what [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged abuse, acceptance, activities, BDSM, bdsm lifestyle, choice, choices, Christian, clean, comfort, communication, community, cons, consensual, control, Dom, dress, email, family, fear, floggers, friends, harnesses, help, implement, information, kink acceptance, kinky, leather, lifestyle, love, myths, natural, negotiation, normal, obedience, openness, opinion, outting yourself, paddles, play, progress, relationship, religion, rt, rules, safe, sane, sex, sharing, single, sister, slave, slavery, standing, stress, submissive, tall, telling family, toy, toys, understanding, whips, writing | 4 Responses

Recommended Reading for New Submissives

Recommended Reading for New Submissives

By lunaKM on May 26, 2009

The following is a list of books that I recommend for every novice submissive. The links lead you to Amazon if you are interested in buying the books. Part of your purchase goes towards supporting this site and my efforts at continuing to bring you content on this site. Books Learning the Ropes: A Basic [...]

Posted in BDSM Basics | Tagged advice, amazon.com, basics, BDSM Basics, bdsm books, bdsm reading, Bondage, book, book list, books, communication, community, discussion, Dom, Dominance, dominant, endorphins, experience, explanations, female, Gloria Brahme, how-to, Impact, impact play, learning, leather, lifestyle, links, love, Masochism, molly devon, myths, negotiation, novice, novices, partners, philip miller, play, player, recommendations, recommended reading, relationship, Relationships, Resources, romance, rt, Sadism, safe, Safety, sane, scene, screw the roses, sensuous, sex, sexual dominance, slave, submission, submissive, support, tips, toy, toys, wants, William Brahme | 1 Response

Carte Blanche – Repeating Misbehavior Patterns

Carte Blanche – Repeating Misbehavior Patterns

By lunaKM on May 14, 2009

Getting in trouble. We’ve all been there a time or two. It comes with learning and training new things as well as changing behaviors. Our Dominants generally don’t derive any pleasure out of punishing us and the guilt we put on ourselves can be more damaging than the misdeed in the first place. Allowing that [...]

Posted in Submission | Tagged advice, attitude, behavior patterns, carte blanche, changing, changing behavior, clean, communication, cons, control, Dom, dominant, dominants, energy, experience, focus, guilt, help, journey, learned, learning, Mindset, needs, normal, novice, play, progress, punishment, punishments, relationship, Relationships, rt, rules, submission, submissive, support, training, trust, wants | 1 Response

Daddy/Little Girl Relationships: A Personal Look

Daddy/Little Girl Relationships: A Personal Look

By Guest Author on May 8, 2009

This is a guest post by ~melly. She’s in a Daddy/little girl dynamic and volunteered to write this post for Submissive Guide. i’ve slept with a teddy bear all my life. this may seem insignificant, but it’s really not,. i had my teddy bear with me when i moved in with Master. i held him [...]

Posted in Relationships | Tagged BDSM, clean, cleaning, comfort, communication, connection, D/g, daddy, dress, dynamic, family, fear, fetlife, guest post, learning, little girl, love, melly, natural, play, relationship, Relationships, rt, sadness, scene, shift, single, slave, stress, submissive, tall, trust | 4 Responses

Pet Play and Human Pets: A Primer

Pet Play and Human Pets: A Primer

By lunaKM on April 15, 2009

Today’s post comes from Skylerpet, a submissive pet in a D/s relationship who volunteered to write an essay for me after seeing the Weekly Tips on YouTube. Thank you Skylerpet! Pet play is one of the most unique, one of the least known and in my opinion one of the most fun and entertaining sub-cultures [...]

Posted in Playtime, Relationships | Tagged 24/7, BDSM, begging, Bondage, bow, chat, collars, communication, cons, D/s, Dom, dominant, email, experience, female, focus, Gor, hands, help, human animals, human pet, learning, lifestyle, movement, needs, opinion, owned, pet play, pets, play, protocol, punishment, questions, relationship, role play, rt, rules, safe, Safety, scene, sex, short, skylerpet, slave, stress, submission, submissive, switch, tall, tips, toy, toys, training, tricks, writing | 5 Responses

Two Dominants

Two Dominants

By Guest Author on April 11, 2009

Today’s guest post is by Aria, a bi poly switch kinkster. So currently I have 2 dominants, Edge and Vice. You would think that to have 2 Doms I would have to be the most submissive woman ever, but I’m a switch. I often call myself a beta-top because I love to co-top with them. [...]

Posted in Relationships | Tagged advice, Aria, bottom, chat, communication, connection, cons, conventions, dating, Dom, dominant, dominants, dress, email, emotions, event, experience, fetlife, focus, guest post, help, jealousy, lifestyle, loneliness, love, Mindset, natural, normal, partners, play, poly, polyamory, punishment, punishments, real world, relationship, Relationships, rt, rules, scene, sex, share, submission, submissive, switch, trust, two dominants, wants, writing | 2 Responses

Readers’ View on Polyamory

Readers’ View on Polyamory

By lunaKM on April 9, 2009

A couple week’s ago I held a Roundtable discussion on Polyamory. You had a lot to say about it. I also had a guest post on polyamory, written by May. Coming up this week is a second guest post about having two Dominats in a poly relationship by Aria. Keep an eye out for that [...]

Posted in Relationships, Roundtable Discussions | Tagged Aria, balance, comfort, communication, control, discussion, Dom, dominant, dominant partner, dominants, event, events, family, friends, guest post, help, jealousy, limits, love, needs, partners, poly, polyamorous, polyamory, relationship, Relationships, review, roundtable discussion, rt, rules, schedules, security, series, share, structure, submissive, support, trust, wants | 4 Responses

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