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Articles for tag 'Communicating'

Articles

The Art of Apology: Receiving an Apology

The Art of Apology: Receiving an Apology

Saying the wrong thing after someone has apologized to you can make the person apologize feel like you’re dismissing their attempt to make things right between the pair of you.

Leave a comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
The Art of Apology: Don’t Over Apologize

The Art of Apology: Don’t Over Apologize

We tend to use sorry for a lot of different situations, but we’ve gone well past the point where our use of the word actually matches the meaning.

Leave a comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
The Art of Apology: Knowing When to Apologize

The Art of Apology: Knowing When to Apologize

How do you know when you owe someone an apology? Continuing kallista’s series on apologizing with knowing when an apology is necessary.

Leave a comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
The Art of Apology: The Importance of Apologizing

The Art of Apology: The Importance of Apologizing

Apologizing to someone lets that person know that you care more for them than you do for the outcome of a disagreement; being able to recognize when we’re wrong—or having someone else recognize that they were wrong—can give closure to situations that might otherwise continue to have a negative impact on the relationship.

Leave a comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Communicating While Submissive

Communicating While Submissive

This is a guest post by Xiao Yingtai. Doms keep telling us that they’re not mind-readers, so we have to communicate. But it’s hard! Especially when it’s something they might not want to hear. The good news is that there is always a submissive way to say it. And you never have to compromise the message. Here is [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Personal Growth
What Do You Mean When You Say Communicate? I am Communicating!

What Do You Mean When You Say Communicate? I am Communicating!

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. People in the D/s and BDSM lifestyles love to say this word. We emphasize that it’s the cornerstone of the relationship, that it is the key to a successful relationship and that negotiation, a form of communication, needs to be done on a regular basis depending on the situation and relationship type. [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics
4 Things You Should Not Put Up With Just Because He’s a Dominant

4 Things You Should Not Put Up With Just Because He’s a Dominant

I’ve been in relationships before. I know how they should work, or at least I think I do. Sometimes I wonder if everyone has forgotten how things are supposed to work just because they are in a D/s relationship instead of a vanilla one. Many of the questions on social networking for kinky people stems [...]

4 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics

Making Him the Dom of Your Dreams – Working With The Man You Have

Oftentimes we find our desire to be submissive or kinky when we are already in a relationship and are not sure really how to proceed with that. It can come as a shock to try to force your desires on your partner and if you address the subject without their thoughts in mind it could [...]

6 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Relationships
Broken Vows: When Vanilla Marriage Falls Apart Because of Kink

Broken Vows: When Vanilla Marriage Falls Apart Because of Kink

I was married before my relationship with my Master, KnyghtMare. We fell in love when dating online was still an unusual thing. We courted and dated for years before we got married. Marriage seemed to be the inevitable next step, so we did that too. Our sex life was very much kink-lite. For the most [...]

41 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Relationships
Ask lunaKM – Compatibility, Safewords when Deaf and Power Play Preferences

Ask lunaKM – Compatibility, Safewords when Deaf and Power Play Preferences

Dear lunaKM, I’m a complete newbie when it comes to the D/s world. January of this year I met my very first Dominant online. He was sweet and attentive yet firm. We live in two different states but I had decided to move to His town to be closer to Him. I did everything in [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything
Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship: The Big Meet

Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship: The Big Meet

As I mentioned in my introduction to this series, online submission is a bit of a hot-button among D/s practitioners. There are a lot of great arguments for why it doesn’t work, and for each of those, there’s an equally strong counterargument for why it’s a perfectly valid arrangement; but chances are, unless you’re submitting [...]

5 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships, Safety
Developing Effective Communication in Long Distance Relationships

Developing Effective Communication in Long Distance Relationships

To say that communication is important in a relationship is like saying that man must breathe to live: one simply shouldn’t have to specify its importance. Yet somehow, although I have never heard of a person who died because he forgot how to breathe, I have seen many relationships fall apart due to a distinct [...]

4 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Online Submission
Keys to a Successful Relationship-It’s All About Communication

Keys to a Successful Relationship-It’s All About Communication

This is the first in an ongoing series where I will be writing about key factors it takes to have a successful relationship. This first article is about the importance that communication plays in our relationships. Awhile ago, I came across this article in the NY Times about how BDSM has become a bit more [...]

6 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship: Introduction

Submitting in a Long Distance Relationship: Introduction

After writing “Rules for the Working Sub” my Dom suggested that I continue writing articles that focus on the long distance aspects of our relationship. At her encouragement, I’ve decided to try my hand at a series which I hope will be of help to anyone who is involved, or is thinking of becoming involved, [...]

11 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Online Submission
Single in the Scene Part IV: Petitioning

Single in the Scene Part IV: Petitioning

This series is written from the perspective that being single in the Lifestyle affords one the opportunity to do some soul-searching, learning, and defining in order to be better equipped to transition into a suitable and desirable relationship in due time. Read - Part I: Boundaries,  Part II: Service, Part III: Slave Resume. So, now that [...]

Male Submission – Fantasy vs Reality

Male Submission – Fantasy vs Reality

In part 1 of my series of articles on male submission I wrote about one archetype of male submission “The Worm.”  For clarification, a large majority of male submissives do not fit that mindset as there are plenty of other dynamics. However, one topic which is common to many male submissives is that the fantasy [...]

25 comments Posted by ted_subby | Posted in: Male Submission
The Chase is On – Communicating Openly With Your Dominant

The Chase is On – Communicating Openly With Your Dominant

I was talking with a friend of mine awhile ago and she said something that really piqued my attention. She was telling me about her boyfriend and how upset she is over the fact that he won’t chase after her. They had some kind of argument and stormed out of the apartment. She got in [...]

11 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Is Submission a Need?

Is Submission a Need?

Is it possible to have a need for submission? I’m in an amazing “vanilla” relationship, with a past of D/S for both of us. We both know of the other’s past, and recently began to incorporate some D/S components to our relationship. The issue is I feel like I have a need to submit. It’s [...]

1 comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything
Am I Submitting or Not?

Am I Submitting or Not?

Hi Luna, I was reading your post about the gift of submission. I thought it was very eye opening. I took your eCourse and it really helped but I am still very confused and feeling overwhelmed. Here’s are my questions. I have been communicating with a Dom for about two months and he insists that [...]

2 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Ask Anything
How to Approach a Dominant You Are Interested In

How to Approach a Dominant You Are Interested In

Consider for a moment that there is a Dominant that you’ve had your eye on for awhile but you think that s/he may not even know you exist. Do you just wait and hope that they will discover you or do you get the nerve to talk to them? Several of the submissives I’ve talked [...]

11 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Play and Sex, Relationships
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