Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Articles for tag 'comfort'

Articles

‘Innocently’ Outing Fellow Lifestylers

‘Innocently’ Outing Fellow Lifestylers

Be mindful of the information you know about someone else that’s kinky. Sometimes, things can seem so very innocuous that information can ‘slip’ out casually – we may innocently drop in the ears of others. The fact is they either teeter on outing someone or can flat-out out someone.

Leave a comment Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Community, Safety
Learning to Help a Partner Through a Poly Breakup

Learning to Help a Partner Through a Poly Breakup

Breaking up is traumatic and should be managed like grief and loss. It can’t be rushed and everyone deals with it differently. But as long as you have patience you can help your partner make it out the other side.

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Newsletter Archive, Relationships
Everything You Need to Know to Have an Amazing Anal Sex Experience

Everything You Need to Know to Have an Amazing Anal Sex Experience

Have no fear, anal play doesn’t have to be scary! Let’s answer some common questions about anal sex before you dive in… hehe.

3 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Sex and Sexuality

Understanding the Reason Behind, “Am I The Only One?” and How to Respond (With a Bit of Netiquette Rules)

The underlying response to this question is simple, but the reason the person asked it is because it doesn’t feel simple to them. Give the person compassion, not snark.

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Newsletter Archive
Power Exchange While in Addiction Recovery

Power Exchange While in Addiction Recovery

The holiday season is hard. So hard sometimes.

3 comments Posted by Mrs. Darling | Posted in: Beginner Basics

Self-Esteem Through Grooming Part 1: Skin Care

Giving back to your skin for all it does for you is a first, and very important step in learning to appreciate your body for what it is and building up your self-esteem.

1 comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Personal Growth
Tips For Those Struggling to Enter the Local BDSM Community

Tips For Those Struggling to Enter the Local BDSM Community

I logged onto Fetlife one early Friday morning with a steamy cup of joe and saw this message straight away: I was there last night but didn’t get out of my truck. I was still in my work clothes and didn’t really know how to find you guys. Maybe I’ll try again next month. As [...]

3 comments Posted by Mrs. Darling | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Community
Defining Sub Space

Defining Sub Space

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Subspace – This term generally is used to describe a moderate to deep trancelike condition experienced by persons in the submissive position in a D/s relationship during interaction with the person in the [...]

1 comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Beginner Basics
When Kinky isn’t Sexy

When Kinky isn’t Sexy

A common misunderstanding that people who are new to the scene seem to have is that kink and sex are indistinguishable from each other: if something kinky ensues, something sexy is sure to follow. The reality is, however, that the two can, and sometimes should, be separated. This is especially true if the participants in [...]

3 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Coming Out As Kinky: Food for Thought

Coming Out As Kinky: Food for Thought

This past winter I ran an educational event through the campus Women’s Center on BDSM in response to Fifty Shades of Grey. With the movie coming out I knew that people would be interested in the topic and consider trying it themselves and I wanted them to be safe about it. I covered the basics [...]

2 comments Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: BDSM Fundamentals, Personal Growth, Relationships
Interracial: Amor en blanco y negro by ElRaffa (Flickr.com)

Master/slave Relationships in Black and White

It’s not uncommon for a black person entering the Lifestyle to wonder, is it acceptable for me as a black woman (or man) to have or serve a white Master? The short answer to this question is – yeah! We all can pursue the dynamics that we desire with whom we desire. But there’s obviously [...]

13 comments Posted by charmed blyss | Posted in: Community, Mindset, Relationships
Talking Even When Words Are Hard: Opening the Lines of Communication With Your Dominant

Talking Even When Words Are Hard: Opening the Lines of Communication With Your Dominant

Communication is key – I say it in every article, but it becomes no less true. Communication is imperative to any relationship, especially one in which your physical and mental health are at risk. This week I have had trouble. Master is very interested in entering into a poly-dynamic. While this initially sounded very attractive [...]

Leave a comment Posted by andyiccee | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Relationships
Under the Microscope: Analyzing What You Read About BDSM for the Truth

Under the Microscope: Analyzing What You Read About BDSM for the Truth

from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 10/18/14 Do you trust everything you read? You shouldn’t. I suggest you not listen to everything I have to say. Why? Because some if it might not be right or true for you and if that’s the case then what you read isn’t for you. It could even be based [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Newsletter Archive
Communicating While Submissive

Communicating While Submissive

This is a guest post by Xiao Yingtai. Doms keep telling us that they’re not mind-readers, so we have to communicate. But it’s hard! Especially when it’s something they might not want to hear. The good news is that there is always a submissive way to say it. And you never have to compromise the message. Here is [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Personal Growth
Dominant Personality with a Submissive Identity

Dominant Personality with a Submissive Identity

Everyday you go to work and are in charge of people, or you have a management position. Perhaps you just feel that being in control outside of the home is comfortable for you. But you come home to submit.  Or maybe you are an extroverted person and love interacting socially but with the right person [...]

12 comments Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics
One is Silver and the Other Gold: The Importance of Friends

One is Silver and the Other Gold: The Importance of Friends

Moving is hard.  There’s no mincing words about it and it’s probably very obvious that change isn’t easy.  The other night I hosted the last Submissive Forum in my area. I’ve hosted them for 2 years, made a lot of wonderful friends and learned so much about myself and submission. There’s something about friendship and [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics

Why Identifying Your Wants and Needs is So Important as a Novice Submissive

Wants and needs. As novice submissives we hear this phrase over and over. Make sure you know your wants and needs. Does this person or that person fulfill your wants and needs? How should we talk about our wants and needs with someone? First, let’s define them. Need: Something that is not negotiable for a [...]

Leave a comment Posted by lunaKM | Posted in: Beginner Basics
photo by du-feudalord (http://du-feudalord.deviantart.com/art/An-Empty-Collar-15828091)

Release from the Collar: A Journey

March 20, 2014. Sir released me tonight.  I’ve been released. I admire and respect his reasoning.  He has a lot going on and he can’t fulfill his responsibilities as my Dom.  He recognizes this and made the decision with my best interests in mind.  I didn’t ask for this; I wasn’t unhappy with our relationship.  [...]

6 comments Posted by pinksubgeek | Posted in: Beginner Basics
http://www.flickr.com/photos/wonderferret/2920749911/in/photostream/

Is it Really a Bad Thing to be a Selfish Submissive?

The other day, and I can’t recall the reason, but I was thinking about something that happened during a play party I had once attended. I had just gotten my butt whacked and in my happy space. I had my blanket and plate full of snacks(after scene munchies), and was wearing my brand new flannel [...]

6 comments Posted by tequilarose | Posted in: Beginner Basics, Personal Growth, Relationships
7 Myths of Grieving and Understanding Your Responses to Death

7 Myths of Grieving and Understanding Your Responses to Death

This is a guest post by Shahjahani a personal friend and Hospice Nurse. “Grief is a journey, not something you get over” Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Grief can be experienced for many reasons, not just the loss of a loved one. Grief is not just related to the loss of a person’s physical presence. Grief [...]

6 comments Posted by Guest Author | Posted in: Relationships, Views & More...
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