Worship and Obedience [Day 10 - 2WBSP]

Nearing the end of our 2 Weeks to Better Submissive Positions here at Submissive Guide. Today we are going to learn positions of worship.

There will be moments in your submission that a feeling wells up inside of you to show your devotion and respect to your Dominant. You may also be asked to show your obedience to your Dominant in a position of humble service. One of the ways you can do this is with a pose of worship. I’m going to describe two basic ways you can show your obedience and worship. Please feel free to try your own; as with all of the positions expressed here, they are customizable and definitely personal to each relationship.

Kiss Their Shoe/Foot

This first position that I’m going to discuss has many different versions that you can read about online. The basic premise is to show worship to your Dominant. Practice this position with your Dominant if you can. Let them express ways to make it better and more personal.

1. Kneel in your preferred manner from Day 1 of the project.
2. From this position, lower you head down near the floor at your Dominant’s feet.
3. Place your hands on either side of your face.
4. Kiss your Dominant’s feet or shoes in homage.
5. Return to your kneeling position.

Obedience Bow

When performing this position you are reaching out to the highest form of submission you can muster from your body. You should express it in every movement into position. Find the beauty of your submission to bring you there.

1. Kneel in your preferred manner from Day 1 of the project.
2. Reach your hands out in front of you and lay them palm up or palm down on the floor.
3. Keep your head lowered in this position.
4. Lower your body until it is as low as you can comfortably bring yourself.
5. Allow your hands to remain outstretched until you have permission to rise.

What can you do to enhance these poses? Do you have a different way to express your worship of your Dominant? Could you share it with me in the comments?

Offering Your Neck for Collar [Day 8 - 2WBSP]

We are just over half way through the two weeks of submissive positions here on Submissive Guide. Here’s a review of what we’ve covered so far:

Next up is talking about offering your collar.

Compared to the other positions we’ve covered this one should be a piece of cake.

1. Kneel or stand in your selected way from the beginning of this project.
2. Lift any hair you have up off your neck and use one hand to hold it.
3. Lower your gaze to the floor.
4. Place your other hand on your thigh.

For some submissives this may happen only once in your relationship, but for others it could happen as much as daily. It really depends on the dynamic you are involved in and the type of collar you wear. Why is this one included in this series? Because it can be enhanced, personalized and dramatized all you want! Enjoy creating special rituals for how to accept the collar. I want to hear what you come up with in the comments!

Two Weeks to Better Submissive Positions

To Bow and Curtsy Appropriately [Day 5 - 2WBSP]

This is a continuation of the ongoing project for submissive positions here at Submissive Guide. Today we will cover bowing and curtsying.

Every culture has a different way to show respect and acknowledge a title holding member of their society. I believe most of them us a form of bow or curtsy to honor that respect. Yes, bowing is also employed in theater curtain calls but what I’d like to focus on here is the purpose of the bow or curtsy as it applies to D/s. When asked or directed to show respect to your Dominant it is likely that a bow or curtsy will fit the bill.

Do you know how to bow or curtsy? Is it comfortable for you to do? Today’s task is to learn how to bow and curtsy correctly and smoothly for any situation.

The European Bow

1. Put your left hand behind your back, bent at the elbow and resting at about your waist.
2. Take your hat (if you are wearing one) in your right hand by the brim.
3. Bring your right hand to your waist, bent at the elbow while you tip your upper body forward. (the lower you bend, the more respect you show)
4. Keep your eyes lowered, do not raise your chin to keep eye contact.
5. Straighten your back and drop your hands.
6. Either tuck your hat under your left arm or replace it on your head, depending on your circumstances.

The Asian Bow

1. Bring your hands flat to your sides.
2. Bow your head and shoulders forward with eyes lowered.

If the person is higher status or older than you are, you should bow deeper and longer. It is polite to bow, bending from your waist. Men usually keep their hands in their sides, and women usually put their hands together on their thighs with their fingers touching. If it is a casual situation, you can bow like nodding. The most frequent bow is a bow of about 15 degrees.

Curtsying

1. Lower your head. This makes you appear vulnerable. This initial position was the origin of the curtsy.
2. Place both your hands on the sides of your skirt and hold it out sideways. If your skirt is too narrow, then hold your hands out to the side, palms upward.
3. Extend one foot behind the other, bend both legs at the knee and bend your head and shoulders slightly forward.
4. Gracefully bring yourself back to your original position.

Bend your knees outward, rather than forward, for a more formal curtsy.

Curtsy for those of a higher social status. Reserve a deep curtsy for when you meet royalty in European cultures. This is called a court curtsy and is more elaborate. The curtsy is deeper, and you can sink to the floor or go down on one knee.

How to curtsy from YouTube.com

Two Weeks to Better Submissive Positions

Pet Play and Human Pets: A Primer

Today’s post comes from Skylerpet, a submissive pet in a D/s relationship who volunteered to write an essay for me after seeing the Weekly Tips on YouTube. Thank you Skylerpet!

Pet play is one of the most unique, one of the least known and in my opinion one of the most fun and entertaining sub-cultures in the BDSM, D/s and “kink” lifestyle. Now, I write this from the perspective of a submissive female, so please keep in mind that it can be changed around to any form you want.

Pet play involves one or more people acting as an animal with typically the submissive being the animal and the Dominant being the “Owner” and/or “Trainer.” I have heard of the Dominant being the animal and Dominating his/her submissive that way, such as holding the submissive down with a bite on the neck, but I am unfamiliar with this.

What animals are common for submissives to be? Most commonly you will see ponies, puppies and pigs. I myself have been a kitty and as of this writing am a puppy. Less frequently I have also seen bunnies, cows and once a seal, though I have no experience with these animals.

For me, one of the biggest reasons I enjoy pet play, aside from it simply being fun, is that it reinforces the Owner/owned relationship. Non-human pets are owned and completely dependent on their owner. They get fed when the owner decides and only then. Their toys and medical care is wholly dependent upon the owner remembering and doing. In a 24/7 D/s relationship this is often times also true. The slave is fed after their Owner has eaten. They wear what their Owner wishes, sleeps when and where their Owner tells them, and follows the rules their Owner dictates. So it is with non-human pets. The only difference is that your non-human pets didn’t consent. You choose them and bring them home upon your own whim. With D/s pet play, the submissive consents to be the property of their Owner. For me, being an animal, being “less than human” reinforces my Dom’s Domination of me. He is a Man and wholly human. I am a pup. His pup.

How is the animal chosen?

There are typically three ways.

• One way is the submissive acting upon his/her instincts to which animal they most identify with. If the submissive is loyal and playful perhaps they lean towards puppy. If they enjoy being led around and high protocol training perhaps it would be pony.
• One other common way for the animal to be chosen is for the Dominant to choose for the submissive. If S/He prefers a puppy to a kitty, the submissive will be molded into a puppy. As another example if the Dom is a farmer who enjoys breastfeeding from His submissive, perhaps He would like her to be a cow.
• The submissive can also switch animals from time to time if their pet play is temporary, if they simply enjoy experimentation or if they do not identify with one particular animal.

Why pet play?

• One large reason many D/s couples go into pet play is for the humiliation and dependence aspect. Restricting a submissive’s movement and vocalizations forces them to be that much more dependent on their Dom. Also, not being allowed on furniture or having to use a litter box instead of a toilet can be very humiliating for some.
• Another is because it is simply fun. It is a great psychological and emotional release to be able to come home and let loose the restrictions of humanity and what humans are “supposed to be like.” It is just plain fun to bat around a cat toy or play tricks and get treat rewards. It could also be described as a “de-stressing” process from the rigors of daily life, especially if the participants work outside the home.
• It can help with submission, as taking away some parts of the submissive’s humanity can help take away their sense of equality. It can help the submissive orient their mind to their Dom being their focus in life.
• Pet play could also be used as punishment. If the submissive misbehaves badly it could be punishment to be put out in the pig stalls with the pigs for a period of time, or whatever animal is available, and made to act like that animal as the punishment.

How does one engage in pet play?

• Restrict movement via bondage.
• Restrict verbal communication, perhaps to only certain words or animal sounds such as “woof!” or “mew!” or more child-like words such as “up!” or “potty!”.
• Training exercises such as tricks for puppies, walking on leads and leashes or for ponies pulling a cart/plow.
• Eating and drinking out of bowls without the use of hands and/or silverware.
• Learning to use a litter box instead of a toilet, or even going outside.
• Playing with toys, such as batting toys for kitties or tug-of-war toys for puppies.
• Begging in the manner of the animal you identify with, such as a puppy whining.
• Caging.
• Not being allowed on furniture without permission.

Also, safety is incredibly important!

So please keep these things in mind, and also any others that fit your lifestyle:

• When it comes to eating actual animal food, while it is okay for perhaps a short scene, it is not safe to do so on a regular basis. Humans have different nutritional needs than animals do, and it is incredibly important to get your nutritional needs met. There are many ways to simulate animal food and treats such as mashing up meatloaf with ketchup, using stews or even baking treats in the shapes of bones and such. However, for any long term play, Eukanuba, Purina and any other brand of animal food you use, are for canines and felines, not humans.
• If you choose to use training and/or shock collars, please, PLEASE read the instructions! On a personal level I am not into electric play, but it is out there. So please, be careful and safe.
• If you put your pup slave into a kennel, please keep in mind that they are very cramped. You do not want your pup slave to be damaged from being in that position for long periods of time.
• If the submissive has had their ability to move and speak restricted it is incredibly important that some form of communication is available to them so that they may communicate if something has happened and/or gone wrong, both physically and emotionally.
• Also, in my opinion having a human pet can add some responsibility to the Dom because when some of the submissive’s humanity is taken away and especially if their communication is restricted, the Dominant must that much more aware of the submissive’s frame of mind.

So that’s a very basic overview of pet play. It can get a lot more specific if one looks at each relationship and the animal(s) involved. A note though; pet play sometimes can be sexual, and sometimes can be completely non-sexual. It, as with everything else, simply depends on the couple involved. Please keep in mind that I am in no way speaking of bestiality. This is two or more human beings acting and role playing within the confines of their negotiated relationship.

Most importantly: Have fun and ask questions if you need or want to!!

In my opinion, pet play can deepen submission, but only if it’s right for you.

Skylerpet is a 24/7 submissive pup in her late 20’s. She has been into pet play since she discovered the D/s lifestyle and can be reached at: requiemskye@yahoo.com for emails and also YIM chat.

photo by photognome

Do You Need the “Luck o’ the Irish” to Meet that Perfect Dominant?

Looking for your partner is challenging, no doubt about it. You’ve probably done the bar scene, the alternative adult dating sites, and maybe a few of the vanilla ones too. No matter where you look you find men or women that just aren’t your type. I’m here to say that it is possible to find someone that’s right for you. Now you may not need any lucky charms to find that perfect person, but you do need a few things to make sure your search for a Dominant doesn’t go awry.

Finding your One isn’t easy and your longing to finally use your submission with someone that understands and values it can be overpowering. I’ve been so desperate that I overlooked some very important safety aspects of meeting someone new. Hopefully you won’t make the same mistakes I did. This has to do with first dates and first meetings, so if you were looking for some tips on how to find someone, unfortunately that’s the pot of gold on the other side of the rainbow (no that doesn’t mean you will never reach it, just another play on words).

Information

Get some personal information before agreeing to meet them. Get their full name, a phone number, the type of car they drive, whatever they will offer. Write this information down and put it in plain site. This is for personal security if the trust you have established fails and they do you harm.

Safe Call

Safe calls are vital in situations where you are meeting someone that no one you know can vouch for. If this is a blind date, set one up. Let a friend know where you will be and set up times to call in or have them call you to check up and see how things are going. This provides two things; a security blanket if safety is compromised and a way out if you don’t think you two have anything in common.

Other Do’s and Don’ts

• Don’t play on the first date.
• Don’t invite them back to your place or go to theirs, keep it public.
• Don’t allow them to set up rules you have to follow. This isn’t an agreed upon relationship… yet.
• Do keep it casual and enjoy yourself.
• Do find out more about them. It is a date first, D/s potential second.
• Don’t drink. No need to be impaired on a first date.

So rub the Blarney stone, kiss an Irish person on the way otu the door and pluck that 4-leaf clover.  You may have found that diamond in the ruff.

Questions on anything covered here? Let me know.

photo credit by cygnus921

How to Beg When Asked

Begging is an art form for submissives. Each of us has our own talent or lack thereof in this area. For some it is part of humiliation, or just every day activities. There are different approaches to begging.

Verbal Approach

Master insists that I beg for a lot of things and I think that most Dominants choose this route to see just how desperate their submissive is for whatever it is they want. Generally it’s about being allowed to come or when you have been teased to death and you just want sex, right, now!

I used to be horrible at begging. “Pretty please with a cherry on top?” Then if that didn’t work I’d up the anty. “Whipped cream?” “Chocolate Sauce?” Uh-huh, what was I doing, tempting him with dessert? This never worked.

Then I went to the “potty dance routine” of “please, please, please, please….” So many pleases in there that it just didn’t have the sentiment that he wanted out of me so that didn’t work either.

Now I’m catching on. I’m no where near perfect but I can and generally do get what I’ve begged for after a short stint of him grinning at me and telling me that wasn’t good enough. He wants me to go all out and yes, I give it to him.

Say I want to come and I know he’s going to ask me to beg. It may go something like this:

“Master, please may I come? I’m so hot and my clit feels like it’s going to explode!”

He usually declines the first time so then it gets more desperate.

“Master, oh god Master I’d really love to come for you and show you just how slutty I am. Please let me come.”

If he’s just in the mood to listen to me beg he’ll give me that grin that says, “Almost, but not quite.” Then the big guns come out.

“Master, I need to come so bad for you, if you let me come I’ll scream and moan so loud, god Master, I don’t want to hold it anymore please? I’ll suck your dick like a mad-woman if I can”

Yup, bribery. I opt for giving him things that I don’t normally do voluntarily. That’s just the way it works for me. I have to really show him how desperate he’s made me, tell him the orgasm is really his and not what I need and then top it off with something that he’s going to love.

Physical Approach

Kneeling and kissing the feet of your dominant is not only a sign of submission, but is a good start for begging for what you desire. This humbling of yourself goes a long way to finding that sweet spot in a Dominant so that they may pay mercy on your and allow what you are asking for. Other ideas can be prostration, kissing hands or bowing/curtsying.

Nonverbal Approach

The puppy dog eyes come out when nonverbal may work for you. The right look can transmit what you want or need very well and some Dominants prefer to have you look like you want it while listening to you beg. What look do you get on your face when you need to get permission for something?

A mixture of any of these approaches requires practice. I’m still not perfect but I’m learning what my Master requires of me when I’m asked to beg for ‘it’.