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Category: Ask SehAnru (35)
The many anonymous questions I get in my mailbox each month get answered in special posts in this section by SehAnru. It’s like a Dear Abby column for…
- Ask SehAnru | An Apology to a Dominant by: SehAnru
  What is the best way to make an apology when the person is not your Master? But the apology is still very important. I am worried about not saying enough or as…
- Ask SehAnru | Communicating kinky needs to a vanilla partner by: SehAnru
  I have a question that I am desperately trying to understand. I have been a submissive instinctively since I was in high school but I have been out of the…
- Ask SehAnru | Dependence by: SehAnru
  Hi, I have a question and hope maybe u can give some advice. I met my Master online about 3 months ago and we live about 90 miles apart. I have been…
- Ask SehAnru | Emotional Distancing by: SehAnru
  I have a Master, hes a good man, but at time i feel like he dosnt want me around, hes great with my training, but am feeling that emotionally hes holding back…
- Ask SehAnru | Exploring the sexual beast within by: SehAnru
  Q~Hi, I'm nineteen and in college, and I've never been in any sort of relationship. I've always been sort of attracted to aspects of bdsm, but I didn't fully…
- Ask SehAnru | First Encounter by: SehAnru
  hello; i have been requested by a prospect Domme to be "fully ready for my submission" shred upon my first visit sesion. are you able to offer ant…
- Ask SehAnru | Focus. Getting what you need out of a Long Distance D/s Relationship by: SehAnru
  Q~Focus. How does one retain focus in a long distance relationship, esp when being so new. I do know quite a bit in theory, but what practices help most when…
- Ask SehAnru | Honesty with family, is it worth it? by: SehAnru
  Hi- I'm a submissive who recently "came out" as such to my mother. I was raised to believe honesty is one of the most important things in a relationship,…
- Ask SehAnru | Love relationship transition to new M/s dynamic by: SehAnru (1)
  SehAnru, My boyfriend and I have been trying a Master/Slave lifestyle for almost a year now. We have four kids, so it makes things a little difficult to…
- Ask SehAnru | New and Overwhelmed by: SehAnru
  Dear SehAnru, i am a novice sub, in fact, i've only been actively interested in BDSM for the last three months. To my utter joy, every step seemed to come…
- Ask SehAnru | Nicknames for Kink Sites by: SehAnru
  I was wondering what might be a good on-line nickname or screen-name? I want to protect my privacy and I am having trouble coming up with a good nickname that…
- Ask SehAnru | Open Relationship Struggles by: SehAnru
  hello. I am a fairly new female submissive, my dom being another female who has been a major part of most of my life, this is just how our relationship has…
- Ask SehAnru | Self Discipline and Being Yourself by: SehAnru
  I just had a very good experience watching one of your videos about submission, it was the one about subspace on your youtube channel. First of all, I'm sorry…
- Ask SehAnru | Service and submission and a vanilla Dominant presence by: SehAnru (2)
  Hello, I'm a fairly young submissive who's recently discovered that side of me. I have no Dominant as of yet, but ever since I figured out that I was a…
- Ask SehAnru | Submission or Controlled rape to face your past by: SehAnru
  Dear SehAnru, I'm a very young submissive with a very strong will. I'm quite confused as to where my place is in the world of submission, because I strongly…
- Ask SehAnru | Subspace vs Dissociating Due to Past Abuse by: SehAnru (1)
  I'm a new sub that has recently decided to start working towards a 24/7 relationship with my boyfriend. There's something that has had me slightly concerned…
- Ask SehAnru | Taking Punishment with Grace by: SehAnru
  Hello, my name is kelli, I am in a dd relationship that would be 24/7 I have been learning about being submissive for about a year now as we have started a…
- Ask SehAnru | TPE/Giving up Control by: SehAnru (2)
  I am soon to be moving 750 miles away to be with my Master. We were together for a few months, then he had to move for his job. I tried to end it, but realized…
- Ask SehAnru | What does he want me to do? by: SehAnru
  i have been in a dom/sub relationship...my first one...for about 3 months. he has set what i like to call daily rules 1 for sleep because i never did be4 1 for…
- Ask SehAnru | What is a slave, sub, and a bottom? by: SehAnru (1)
  SehAnru i have been reading the submissives guide pages and i think of myself as Master's slave, but maybe you could clarify the differences between being a…
- Ask SehAnru | When weight is a sexual road block by: SehAnru
  My Master is quite a portly man .How can he get good penetration without hurting his feelings? That is important his weight on me can clearly crush me. He is…
- Ask SehAnru | Where to begin: Books, and more by: SehAnru
  Q~I am very new to this lifestyle. For my college comp class, I did a research paper on "vanilla relationships" vs. "D/S relationships". I was very attracted…
- Ask SehAnru | Where to start by: SehAnru
  Hi, I was wondering if you would be willing to talk with me about becoming a slave. Despite my obvious fetishes shown by my user name, I've never done any of…
- November Q & A: Belated by: SehAnru (2)
  Q: I am currently in a D/s relationship for the past 8 months... However I am new to the lifestyle so I lack experience and knowledge, and this lack is…
- Novice Q & A - December Edition by: SehAnru
  Q: I have a very strong personality, and am really independent in my relationships- but I've always wanted to be totally submissive during sex. As I've…
- Novice Q & A - January Edition by: lunaKM
  This year I'm starting a new series of posts that will occur once a month just like the Roundtable did last year. Novice Q & A is for you to ask…
- Novice Q&A - April Edition by: lunaKM
  This month I have a few new questions for you! As always, if you have questions you'd like answered then shoot me an email and I'll do my best to help you…
- Novice Q&A - February Edition by: lunaKM
  Novice Q & A is for you to ask questions about things you’d like more information on, advice you are looking for or anything else. You can even ask me…
- Novice Q&A - July Edition by: lunaKM
  Q: I have question. I'm a Sub newbie under a Dom's consideration for a D/s relationship. Our relationship is not just confined to the bedroom but throughout…
- Novice Q&A - March Edition by: lunaKM
  This month I have questions about safe words and relationship types. I have heard that there are universal safe words, but the only one I've ever been told of…
- Novice Q&A - May Edition by: lunaKM (1)
  Every month I ask for your anonymous questions and pleas for advice. Here are the few I got this month. First one is about introducing D/s into an existing…
- Novice Q&A - October Edition by: lunaKM
  lunaKM answers your anonymous questions pertaining to BDSM, submission and service.
- Novice Q&A June Edition by: lunaKM
  Each month I answer questions asked by readers like you. Come see what I've answered this month. Q: I'm quite new to the idea of being a submissive, but…
- Novice Q&A – August Edition by: lunaKM
  Q: I am a relatively new submissive. I have had two previous D/s relationships. One was ended suddenly - just a week or so after being given a collar, he…
- Novice Q&A – September Edition by: lunaKM (2)
  Q: I know I'm too young to know anything about the world and what I want at just 17, but I've still always been interested by the idea of being a submissive,…
Category: BDSM Basics (74)
You’ll learn a lot about how to explore BDSM from a novice viewpoint, Safety is emphasized here. This category is for the play aspects of kink –…
- 10 Red Flags of Bad or Abusive Dominants by: lunaKM (4)
  Predators and abusive Dominants are everywhere. I've seen them and been subjected to them in a casual relationship. Thankfully I escaped into a kind and loving…
- 4 Things to Look for in a Mentor by: lunaKM (5)
  There are mentors in every area of life and situation. In BDSM it is sometimes recommended to newbies to pick up a mentor, but are never given the tools to…
- 5 Ways to Recognize Topping from the Bottom by: lunaKM (16)
  Topping from the bottom is a misunderstood term in BDSM, especially if you are a novice. The idea behind the term is to actually help submissives understand…
- A Single Submissive Packs a Toybag by: lunaKM (2)
  If you intend to venture into play on a casual level or at play parties and clubs as a single submissive you need to arrive prepared for play. This includes…
- A Submissive Approach to Safe, Sane and Consensual by: lunaKM
  When you first enter the more public BDSM community one of the largest catch phrases you will here is SSC, also known as Safe, Sane and Consensual. It is a…
- All Female Submissives are Bisexual and Other BDSM Myths by: lunaKM (4)
  The world is full of false truths. These false truths tend to be the assumptions of the uninformed or the beliefs of those who want to scare novices out of…
- All Tied Up: Rope Bondage by: Guest Author (4)
  This is a guest post for the BDSM Activity Feature Series. patricialynn offers us a look into rope bondage. Rope bondage is a wonderful thing. Nothing…
- Am I Normal? Exploring Normalcy in BDSM Relationships by: lunaKM (4)
  One of the first questions a new submissive asks themselves is are they normal for desiring the things they do. This could be kinky sex, humiliation or…
- Assessing the Value of Checklists by: lunaKM (2)
  from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 9-12-09 Throughout the process of learning about yourself and BDSM you hear talk of checklists. You can find yourself…
- Attending a Munch by: nan {SL} (9)
  “Go to a munch!” That’s advice that you will often hear when you start exploring the BDSM lifestyle. But what is a munch? What can you expect from the…
- Best Submissive Blogs List #2 by: lunaKM (2)
  After the impressive response I got from the first list, I decided to make up another list. Besides, there are many many wonderful submissive blogs out there.…
- Best Submissive Blogslist by: lunaKM (13)
  There are thousands of blogs on the internet by submissives. Some of them are decently written and by all means, worth following. This is not that list. This…
- Can I Be Abused in a BDSM Relationship? by: lunaKM
  This week's video post is about BDSM vs. Abuse. A BDSM relationship, especially one with sadomasochistic moments, is subject to questions all the time…
- Can You Separate BDSM and Sex? by: lunaKM (4)
  When Master and I get to play, it's quite sexually charged. We find the play and the energy we swap as very sexual. Our play time usually ends in sex of some…
- Collars by: lunaKM (3)
  This week's video tip is about collars. Collars are a commonly discussed topic in BDSM. There is a wide range of information and opposing viewpoints on…
- Distinguishing Between Wants and Needs by: lunaKM
  Continuing the Wants and Needs Series, this essay is about knowing the difference between wants and needs. If you would like to read the previous essay, please…
- DIY Toy Instructions Online by: lunaKM
  I’m crafty. I learned how to make BDSM gear almost within months of my entrance to the lifestyle. I love how easy some of these are. I always get compliments…
- Embarrassment vs. Humiliation - One Opinion by: Guest Author (2)
  This has always been a fascinating subject for me. Humiliation, for many, is a large – perhaps even important – part of their D/s dynamic. For these…
- Etiquette at Play Parties by: lunaKM
  Each social situation we expose ourselves to has it's own set of rules and behaviors. This is also true of BDSM events, perhaps even moreso. A play party will…
- Everything You Need to Know About Being Kinky by: lunaKM (2)
  "Are you kinky?" he asked as he leaned in for a kiss. "What? Um... no, I don't think so. Am I?" The word kinky is not exactly a clear term to define. It…
- Exploring Impact Play: A Variety of Pleasures by: Guest Author (5)
  This is a guest post by bgtreasure for the BDSM Play Feature Series here on Submissive Guide. I choose this topic to write about because it is my favorite…
- Exploring Your Place in BDSM Play by: lunaKM
  Submission during play can be overwhelming. How do you understand what you might like? What about the buzz words of subspace and sub drop? One of Submissive…
- Expressions of Wants and Needs by: lunaKM (2)
  In the previous post about Wants and Needs we began to understand the importance of Needs for ourselves and our relationship. If you would like to go back and…
- Hard and Soft Limits by: nan {SL} (3)
  What are limits? As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this…
- Help Submissive Guide Raise 00 for NLA-I DVP for National Domestic Violence Awareness Month by: lunaKM (5)
  It's important to have a cause you believe in, for me it's the National Leather Association-International Domestic Violence Project. Their cause to bring…
- Help! My Dom is smaller than me! by: lunaKM (7)
  You've met the perfect person; they are strict and charming, their dominance is a perfect compliment to your submission. There is just one hang-up. They are…
- Helping Your Partner Become More Dominant by: lunaKM (2)
  The second question I received for March question month came to me in my email. I'm a strong person, but something in me was missing...until i admitted what i…
- How to Give Good Initial Interviews by: lunaKM (7)
  When you first start talking to a potential Dominant you go through an initial interview. A lot of times this is just a period where basic questions are asked…
- I Found a Munch, Now What? by: nan {SL}
  This is a continuing discussion about Munches. If you'd like to read the first post, Attending a Munch now. Once you find a munch in your area, you may want…
- Introducing Kink into an Existing Relationship by: lunaKM (3)
  When you discover that you might be kinky there are a lot of questions surrounding how to accept that. One of those may be trying to explore that kink with…
- Just Wait Till Your Father Gets Home: Telling Your Family by: lunaKM (10)
  This post is from Norische. She allows anyone to post her articles anywhere they will do some good. I could not come up with a better way to say what she does…
- Lactation Play and the Adult Nursing Relationship by: Guest Author (7)
  This is a guest post by dani. She is a new submissive in an Adult Nursing relationship.You can read about Erotic Lactation at Wikipedia or visit Land of Milk…
- Learning Your Wants and Needs by: lunaKM
  How Do I Figure Out What I Need? Figuring out your wants and needs is a fundamental task in your relationship decision making. Knowing the difference and…
- Nonverbal Ways to Safeword by: lunaKM (5)
  At the beginning of this blog I wrote about safewords. Just a reminder that a safeword is a signal that ends BDSM play and usually negotiated before play. …
- Now Available: The Spanking Series in E-Book! by: lunaKM
  If you have ever wondered how you can get the spanking you've always wanted but wasn't sure how to ask for it, there is a book for you. I was just offered the…
- RACK: An Alternative to SSC by: lunaKM
  In a previous post I talked about Safe, Sane and Consensual or SSC, a safety mantra that quite a bit of the BDSM community has picked up as a way to explain…
- Recommended Reading for New Submissives by: lunaKM (1)
  The following is a list of books that I recommend for every novice submissive. The links lead you to Amazon if you are interested in buying the books. Part of…
- Research Page: Electrical Play by: lunaKM (2)
  I’ve scoured the internet for some of the more complete resources to do with a variety of topics. Today’s topic is Electrical play. In this form of…
- Should You Tell Your Friends about Your Kinky Interests? by: lunaKM (1)
  Approaching your friends with something as private and sensitive as your sexual interests or lifestyle ideas maybe a decision you have to make sooner or later…
- Stress in Play with Predicament Bondage by: nan {SL} (3)
  Has your Dom/me ever tied you in a position where if you move one way this part of your body gets stressed or pulled, and if you move another way, that part of…
- The Abuse Debate: A Matter of Acceptance Not Consent by: Guest Author (5)
  This is a guest post by Darkrose. BDSM relationships make the argument on abuse much more complicated than it already is, and those in TPE relationship have…
- The BDSM Checklist that Will Really Help You by: lunaKM (4)
  An important part of negotiating a scene is discussing what you want out of the scene. Sure there are a lot of really thorough BDSM checklists that you could…
- The Meaning Of Collars [Poll Results] by: lunaKM
  Last week I asked you to tell me how important your collar is to you and the meaning of it in your relationship. The poll is now closed and the results are…
- The Nitty Gritty of the BDSM Lifestyle by: lunaKM (1)
  There are so many primers out there about BDSM I'm not sure if another one is really needed. Then again with all the basic questions asked on forums and chat…
- The Value of Checklists by: lunaKM
  This week's video tip is on the BDSM Checklist. If you've just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been…
- This Collar, That Collar, Your Collar, My Collar by: lunaKM (1)
  A collar for submissives is one of the most fundamental symbols of their relationship and one that is usually gaurded and protected with their heart. With…
- To Safeword or Not To Safeword by: lunaKM (2)
  Now that is a question, isn't it? There is no wrong or right answer but there is a clear and focused way to figure out if you are someone would would desire a…
- Up in Flames: The Basics of Fireplay by: SehAnru (3)
  This is another guest post for the BDSM Play Feature here on SubmissiveGuide. This post about Fire Play is by SehAnru. Enjoy! I have always been a fire bug…
- Using Playtime Check Ins Wisely by: lunaKM (2)
  A check in is where either partner provides clues as to their comfort, pain tolerance, pleasure level or other information during a scene or play session. Even…
- What is a Mentor? by: lunaKM (2)
  This week's video tip is about mentors. A mentor is a person more experienced in certain aspects of life than you are. They are also more open to…
- What is a Play Party? by: lunaKM
  When you enter the local BDSM community one of the events you may be exposed to is a play party. A play party is a essentially a party were BDSM play can…
- What Is BDSM All About? by: lunaKM
  It's been awhile since I've done a refresher on the basics of BDSM. If you are just finding this site, I hope that the wealth of information you see will help…
- What Should You Do When Your Wants or Needs Aren't Met? by: lunaKM
  To conclude this series on wants and needs I'd like to talk about what to do when you needs and wants are not being met. We've already discussed how…
- What Your Defining Moment Means to Your Submissive Future by: lunaKM (5)
  Everyone has a defining moment where BDSM becomes a part of your life in some form or another. It doesn't have to mean that you are completely immersed into a…
- When it is Okay to Top From the Bottom by: lunaKM (1)
  Topping from the bottom has been given a bad wrap. It's considered by many to be a faux paux for any submissive. Online communities shun and shame many people…
- When Submissives Go Wild: Sub Frenzy by: lunaKM (14)
  Submissive Frenzy is a state of mind that you may experience at any point in your submission. It is most commonly associated with new submissives, but it can…
- Where to Buy a Collar Online by: lunaKM (6)
  Places to buy a collar are numerous. Each relationship has a different idea of what the collar should look like. Listed below are a few of the many places you…
- Why BDSM is Not D/s by: lunaKM (3)
  This post is by Skylerpet. She's written several other posts here for Submissive Guide. You can read more of her work on online submission and pet play…
- Why the Word 'Training' Confuses Novices by: lunaKM (1)
  The word 'training' is a stumbling block for many novices and experienced submissives alike. The reason for this is that so many define training as the…
- With the Stroke of a Cane: Enjoying Caning by: Guest Author (6)
  This is a guest post by Nadia West for the BDSM activities series. I'm fairly new to caning, but I've discovered that I like it a lot (even if I can't take…
- You Aren't Doing It Right - Dealing With Criticism by: lunaKM (3)
  I was asked in email for some help from a girl that was confused about the information she was given by submissives bent on giving her 'good' advice. She's…
- Your First Munch by: lunaKM (5)
  This week's video tip is about what to expect at your first munch. So you are ready to venture into the great wide expanse of public life and meet…
Category: BDSM Glossary (13)
Every good resource needs a glossary. This site and the Kink Lifestyle has a jargon all its own. This section helps to de-cloak some of the words that can…
- Dominant vs. Domineering by: lunaKM
  This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. Often…
- Embarrassment vs. Humiliation - One Opinion by: Guest Author (2)
  This has always been a fascinating subject for me. Humiliation, for many, is a large – perhaps even important – part of their D/s dynamic. For these…
- The Difference Between Nude and Naked by: lunaKM
  This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. There are a…
- What is a 24/7 D/s (M/s) Relationship? by: lunaKM
  This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. When you hear…
- What is a Bottom? by: lunaKM
  This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. A person who…
- What is a Collar? by: lunaKM (1)
  This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. Considered…
- What is a Contract? by: lunaKM (2)
  This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. A contract is…
- What is a Munch? by: lunaKM
  This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. A munch is a…
- What is a Switch? by: lunaKM
  This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. What is a…
- What is Aftercare? by: lunaKM (1)
  This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. Aftercare is…
- What is Discipline? by: lunaKM
  This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. Discipline…
- What is Edgeplay? by: lunaKM
  This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen across this site and in the BDSM community. Edgeplay has…
- Where Do I Start? by: lunaKM (2)
  This is a video post about how to get started once you decide you want to explore submission. I'd have to say that the most common question I get from…
Category: DIY (6)
Learn how to make, change, enhance, cook, bake and sew. Picking up skills that will help you in your relationship to enhance your submission.
- DIY Toy Instructions Online by: lunaKM
  I’m crafty. I learned how to make BDSM gear almost within months of my entrance to the lifestyle. I love how easy some of these are. I always get compliments…
- DIY: How to Make a Duct Tape Flogger by: lunaKM (15)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 11-20-10 About a year ago I was challenged with a question, "Could I make a flogger out of anything?" This got me…
- Holiday Tips Collected from Across the Web by: lunaKM
  I put out a plea for your holiday tips, tricks and recipes. I received a few so I went looking myself for lovely ideas also! If you find anything you'd like to…
- How to Make Laundry Soap by: lunaKM (7)
  One of the frugal and simple living things that you can do at home is to make your own laundry soap. I've been making my own for over a year and it's only cost…
- Keep In Good Standing - A Tip For Those Who Can't Kneel by: Sephani Paige (15)
  There is a sense of rightness to the act of kneeling before ones Master, a serene feeling of belonging and worship that is unique and special to each dynamic…
- Learn How to Knit by: lunaKM (7)
  This post continues the Domestic Servitude Series. Once considered old ladies' busy work, I'm here to try to bring a comeback to knitting. With knitting you…
Category: Domestics (27)
Cooking, cleaning and home care to make your domestic service top notch.
- 10 Helpful Websites for the Busy Submissive by: lunaKM (7)
  Sometimes you just need that extra bit of help out of your day or want to have all the tips and tricks on a certain activity. Well I have pulled together some…
- 36 Ten Minute Meals For When Time Is Short by: Guest Author (3)
  This guest post is a honeymoon gift from MGbunny. Time is not always our friend more so if you work outside of your Tops home and have chores to do upon…
- But... I'm really not domestic. And I'm certainly no diva! by: Rayne (2)
  It's no secret that I'm no domestic diva. I have the potential, and the know-how and occasionally even the desire. But when it comes right down to it... I'd…
- Charmed Blyss' Broccoli Soup by: Guest Author (1)
  This is a guest post by Charmed Blyss that she sent in for the Domestic Pleasure Series. Simple soups such as this have helped me to lose over 115lbs. I…
- Cooking for Master by: nan {SL} (4)
  I think it was at least 3 years into my relationship with my Master before I had to cook for Him. I was terrified at the thought. When I visit Master, He…
- Creating a Daily Cleaning Routine by: lunaKM (2)
  Maintaining a clean home can take on a life of its own. There is only a small number of submissives that can live the dream of being an at home submissive.…
- Domestic Duties | How I Make The Bed by: lunaKM (8)
  You don’t have to be a perfectionist to have a tidy bed. A well made bed in the morning will make it more inviting to curl up into at the end of the day.…
- Domestic or Dreadful; Your Journey to Domestic Satisfaction by: Sate (1)
  Cleaning is a task most dread, but it can be made quick and effective. With a few simple tips you can boast your domestic prowess and please your Master with a…
- Domestic Pleasure Guest Post Series by: lunaKM (1)
  We all have to domestic duties around the house to do; some by choice and some not. There are submissives that specialize in domestic service and others as a…
- Domesticity: The Bathroom by: lunaKM (1)
  Last month we were in the kitchen, this month I want to walk you through cleaning and maintaining a tidy bathroom. I feel that cleanliness in the bathroom…
- Domesticity: The Bedroom by: lunaKM
  The bedroom in most homes is supposed to be a refuge from the stress of the world; to reconnect with your partner and to recharge after a hard day at work.…
- Domesticity: The Kitchen by: lunaKM (2)
  The kitchen is the heart of any home and having a clean and germ-free work environment for cooking and food preparation is important. Knowing some skills and…
- Finding Domesticity In You by: lunaKM (2)
  I'm personally not a very domestic person. When I do find the desire to clean it's normally to relieve stress (believe it or not). It can help calm my nerves…
- Green Recipes for Home and Health by: SehAnru
  These days there are so many chemicals out on the market that we don’t really know what kind of damage they can do to our bodies most importantly, as well as…
- Homemade Cleaners Made Easy by: lunaKM (8)
  You may have seen the two previous posts about some green and homemade cleaners on the guide. If not, here are links to the articles. Green Recipes for Home…
- How to Make Laundry Soap by: lunaKM (7)
  One of the frugal and simple living things that you can do at home is to make your own laundry soap. I've been making my own for over a year and it's only cost…
- How to Sew On a Button and other Simple Mending Tasks by: lunaKM
  Learning how to mend and patch is an age old skill that used to be second nature, but now it's a lot easier for people to go out and buy a new pair of jeans…
- Learn How to Knit by: lunaKM (7)
  This post continues the Domestic Servitude Series. Once considered old ladies' busy work, I'm here to try to bring a comeback to knitting. With knitting you…
- Making Homemade Flour Tortillas - 3 Ways by: lunaKM
  Ingredients 2 cups All-Purpose Flour 1 1/2 tsp. Baking powder 1 tsp. Salt 2 tsp. Vegetable Oil 3/4 cup Lukewarm milk (2% is fine) Directions S…
- My Progress with Domestic Service and a Resource by: lunaKM (1)
  When I became a stay-at-home submissive two years ago, I had visions of an ideal June Cleaver life. But as the days moved on into weeks, I realized that her…
- My Struggle with Accepting Domestic Service as Service by: lunaKM (11)
  I never used to enjoy domestic duties. In fact there are a number of days where I stare at my cleaning list as if doing that would make it disappear. However,…
- Personal Grooming of your Master or Mistress by: SehAnru (4)
  A part of Domestic service which is very intimate is personal grooming. If you are allowed to groom your Master or Mistress or want to learn how, here are some…
- Prescription-strength Fudge Brownies by: Guest Author (2)
  This recipe is a guest post by danae of Domestic Servitude for this month's Domestic Pleasure Series. These are super fudge brownies. Full of chocolaty…
- Save Money, Time and Sanity with Menu Planning by: Guest Author (3)
  This is a guest post by danae of Domestic Servitude for this month's Domestic Pleasure Series. Menu planning can save you money, time and just sanity. I…
- Service Tip: Making The Most Of A Frugal Food Budget by: Sephani Paige (2)
  Introducing a new contributor here at Submissive Guide: Sephani Paige! There are a few non-sexual things that just do it for me, things that I get totally…
- Some Thoughts on Domestic Service by: Guest Author (3)
  This is a guest post by fuzzyP, a male submissive in a relationship with his Goddess and a regular participant of the Submissive Guide chatroom. When luna…
- Top Ten Books on Holiday Preparation by: lunaKM
  With the holidays right around the corner I wanted to give you some helpful resources to get you started on decorating and planning for family; whether that be…
Category: Health and Beauty (14)
Find your inner and outer beauty to enhance your submissive offering. Learn beauty tips, body appreciation and acceptance.
- 5 Homemade Facial Recipes by: lunaKM (1)
  An activity in the Community area asks for everyone to start a 30 minute beauty routine once a week; taking time to care for your most important asset:…
- Balancing Depression and Submission by: lunaKM (3)
  Everyone has gone though bouts of depression at one time or another. For some, it's practically debilitating and others can handle it in stride without much of…
- Caring for Yourself After a Scene: Self-Aftercare by: lunaKM (24)
  Aftercare is an important part of recovery from play for many people. It is most common to experience a drop in emotions and energy after play from within…
- Green Recipes for Home and Health by: SehAnru
  These days there are so many chemicals out on the market that we don’t really know what kind of damage they can do to our bodies most importantly, as well as…
- Handling an Addiction While in Service by: lunaKM (12)
  Those of you who read my blog already know this, but for most of you this will be news. I have an addiction. At the end of last month I came to the realization…
- How to Give a Romantic Bath by: lunaKM (2)
  Romance gets lost in the rush of work, family, kids and obligations but a romantic bath is not only relaxing, it can create intimacy between you and your…
- Laney's Top Ten Personal Hygiene Reminders by: LaneyDoll
  There are a lot of times that things are so obvious you think "surely no one has to be reminded." However, if you spend any amount of time around people…
- Learning to Apply Makeup by: lunaKM (2)
  Some relationships and Dominants require their submissives to wear a certain level of make up. My Master requires that I wear makeup before leaving the house.…
- Living as an Emotionally Healthy Submissive by: lunaKM (5)
  Being an emotionally healthy person is a goal that all of us have but a smaller margin actually accomplish. With the constant stress of commitments and modern…
- Make-up Application Tips, Tricks and Tutorials by: lunaKM (5)
  Almost every lady loves to wear make-up. I'm no different, but it's taken a long time for me to feel confident that I don't look like a clown when I walk out…
- Reader's Response to Addictions by: lunaKM (3)
  I got quite a few wonderful responses in my email about addictions after I posted about my own vice. Some of you have allowed me to share your thoughts here…
- The Impact of Pregnancy on Service and Play by: malak Briar-rose (1)
  Because of the content of this post I feel I must begin with a disclaimer: This is NOT meant to be medical advice or anything even related to it. This is an…
- The Roundtable: The Secrets to a Smooth Bikini Shave by: lunaKM (31)
  As I've done a few times already, I like to open this blog for readers to submit tips and opinions on a topic that I don't know a lot about. This is your…
- Your Bathing Regime by: lunaKM (9)
  You may have been bathing yourself since you were 5 or 6, but if you haven't changed your bathing routine since then, you may want to consider growing up and…
Category: Male Submission (5)
Grouped in this category are the posts written from the male submissive point of view. While I believe that most of the posts on this blog can be read from the…
- A Day in the Life: fuzzyP by: Guest Author (2)
  This is a guest post by fuzzyP for the Day in the Life Series. I was asked by luna to write about one of my typical days in service to my Dominant. While…
- Are Female Dominants More About Mental Dominance Than Physical Dominance by: Guest Author (5)
  This is a guest post by fuzzyP, a male submissive in a relationship with his Goddess and a regular participant of the Submissive Guide chatroom. "Is It True…
- Is Male Submission a Form of Weakness? by: Guest Author (2)
  This is a guest post by fuzzyP. I’ve put this question off long enough. It’s one of those questions that can cause a person to take a long, uncomfortabl…
- Research Page: Male Submission by: lunaKM (2)
  Today I'm bringing together the resources I've collected about male submission and Female-led relationships. Much of what I found was porn, so it is needless…
- What Do Female Dominants Desire in a Male Submissive? by: Guest Author (9)
  This is a guest post by fuzzyP, a male submissive in a relationship with his Goddess and a regular participant of the Submissive Guide chatroom. Since this…
Category: Mindset (37)
Submissive all the time? Find, encourage and develop the triggers you need for your mindset to blossom.
- 21 Websites to Help you Start a Meditation Routine by: lunaKM (3)
  Whether for health or mental well-being; a good meditation routine is important. For submission this can help you focus yourself to your role and embrace…
- 3 Ways to Recover From a Fight and Return to Role Post-Argument by: lunaKM (3)
  In a previous article I talked about conflict resolution in a D/s relationship. This post will continue the discussion with how to return to role after the…
- 5 Ways to Reset Your "Feel Submissive" Button by: lunaKM
  from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 7-23-11 Submission - it's hard work. For the 24/7 types it's an all the time thing. So what happens if you wake up one…
- A Doormat Submissive? by: lunaKM (3)
  A common derogatory word used in submissive circles is “doormat” as in, you don’t want to be a doormat submissive. Rarely is it talked about beyond…
- A Great Example of a Slave's Rosary by: lunaKM (15)
  On FetLife quite awhile back now, a slave posted her version of a rosary with her Master as the focus. As with any rosary or prayer beads, it is used in…
- A Slave Heart – Do You Have One? Do You Need One? by: lunaKM (9)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 6/5/10 One of the many unique things about being a submissive is that you can focus your development any which way you…
- Are You Cheating on Your Dominant With Your Ex Dominant's Memory? by: lunaKM (1)
  This is a question tammy asked for March Question Month: I have had a few Doms and i am in a relationship where I live with one.I didnt think I could find…
- Ask For What You Want by: lunaKM (10)
  As a novice submissive, I believed that asking for anything was not appropriate for a submissive. I rarely requested a favorite restaurant, something at the…
- Balancing Depression and Submission by: lunaKM (3)
  Everyone has gone though bouts of depression at one time or another. For some, it's practically debilitating and others can handle it in stride without much of…
- Banishment as a Form of Punishment: How Do You Cope? by: lunaKM (5)
  "Go to your room!" Yes even adults in power exchange relationships get treated like children sometimes. A common tool for Dominants in their punishment…
- BDSM To Cure Insomnia by: ted_subby (8)
  Insomnia is a common condition. I have seen estimates that over half of all adults experience difficulties sleeping a few nights per week or more. I am not a…
- Changing for Master and Maintaining Ourselves by: nan {SL} (4)
  A slave I admire wrote a blog on how she felt she had changed since she met her Master. She wanted to go back to the more outgoing, social being she had been…
- Coming Clean: Admitting Your Disobedience by: lunaKM (6)
  We all have those little voices in our head that tell us what to do. Sometimes it tries to convince us that our disobedience is okay. The voices are very…
- Diffuse Extreme Mood Swings Before They Get You In Trouble by: lunaKM (2)
  For March Question Month Cilla Noir asks: How do you handle your serious mood swings or when something just “sets you off”? When you go from one end of…
- Discovering Your Submissive Nature by: lunaKM (12)
  Discovering your submissive nature isn't always a sudden process. For many people it takes some soul searching to see that you may enjoy being a people-pleaser…
- Dominance as a Slave Training Tool for Better Submission by: lunaKM
  When starting out in submission, there are a lot of roads you can choose and so many people direct novices to training and needing to be trained. Most of these…
- Finding Your Spirituality In Service by: lunaKM (7)
  A recent journal prompt I came across really inspired me to write about it. It is spirituality. A lot of what I hear about spirituality is related to…
- Handling Guilt from Mistakes and Punishment by: lunaKM (6)
  Everyone at one time or another is going to go through moments of guilt. Submissives may have added self-guilt when you break a rule, or upset your Dominant.…
- How an Outline Aligned My Submission and What You Can Learn From It by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 5/28/11 The past month has been a busy month for me, as I prepared and delivered my first presentation at an event.…
- How to Give a Romantic Bath by: lunaKM (2)
  Romance gets lost in the rush of work, family, kids and obligations but a romantic bath is not only relaxing, it can create intimacy between you and your…
- How To Start Your Submissive Journal by: lunaKM (2)
  A very common first request of a potential Dominant, either online or offline is to have you start a submissive journal. If you've never kept a diary then this…
- Leaving Work at the Door: How to Find the Mindset Once You Are Both Home by: lunaKM (3)
  My first question for March Question Month is about making the mental switch from work to home life. I know from experience that this is a very difficult time…
- Let's Be Selfish - Recharging The Submissive Battery by: Sephani Paige (4)
  For most of us, we've always felt that strong pull towards serving others. For others, that urge was quieted beneath propriety, shyness or fear. No matter…
- Mind Your Manners: Not just for kids anymore by: lunaKM (5)
  From The Submissive Guide Newsletter 11-7-09 When I admitted that I had crossed into adulthood, somewhere around 23, I realized that the manners that had…
- On Being Worthless by: Guest Author (3)
  This guest post was written by Rick’s Fucktoy. It was first published on Sensual Service which I closed when I opened Submissive Guide. It's a concept…
- Overcoming Frustration and Anger by: lunaKM (13)
  Frustration is a normal human response. It can get out of hand and escalate to anger if not handled well. As submissives we seem to deal with frustration more…
- Purging Your Emotional Garbage Can Will Prepare You Better for Service by: lunaKM (5)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter August 7th, 2010 When we first begin exploring submission and our desires to serve there are usually a lot of baggage…
- Regaining Submissive Mind-Space Through Ritual by: nan {SL} (10)
  Many submissives have jobs where they are managers, business owners, or in charge in some way or another. Sometimes it can be difficult to re-enter your…
- Single in the Scene Part I: Boundaries by: Charmed Blyss
  Recently, I was contemplating the situation of being single in the Scene because of an email I received from someone concerning interacting with male dominants.…
- Structure with Rules by: lunaKM (2)
  I'm a submissive that needs structure. Submissives all around will identify with either discipline, obedience, structure or rules or perhaps more than one.…
- Submissive PMS and How to Deal With It by: lunaKM (6)
  This video post is about how to deal with a submissive bout of PMS. It's not your normal run of the mill PMS. You don't have cramps or bloating or…
- Super-Ego And The Good Girl by: Sephani Paige (7)
  How many times have you heard a submissive say how he/she loves to be told they are a "good girl/boy" by their dominant? Yet how many times have any of them…
- Tasks While Your Dominant is Away by: Guest Author (5)
  This guest post is by Alpine from Alpine Dreams. A bit of a background story. My partner and I don’t live together. We are both Poly, have other…
- The Emotional Side of Sub Drop by: lunaKM (20)
  Sub Drop can come in many different forms. Sub Drop is the emotional and physical affects of the release and drop of endorphins in the body after a play…
- The Importance of Rules by: lunaKM (9)
  Rules, instructions and assignments are things that are given to me by my Dominant for very important reasons. To follow them should bring me the pride and…
- Using Your Fear for Better Submissive Growth by: Guest Author (1)
  This guest post is a honeymoon gift from mi_vida. Lets face it, we all have fears. I'll be the very first person to admit it! In fact I'll do you one better…
- You've Been Bad, Now What; Curing the Post-Infraction Funk by: lunaKM (4)
  I can't say that everyone gets into trouble without admitting that I get into trouble so here goes. I get into trouble. Not regularly or habitually, but…
Category: Newsletter Archive (42)
The Submissive Guide Newsletter Archive is published on the site at least 3 months after it is sent to the mailing list. Each newsletter has questions and…
- 10 Tips to Make Moving In With Your Dominant (or vise-versa) Smooth and Easy by: lunaKM (4)
  from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 9/25/10 The progress of a serious relationship leads to moving in with the other. Whether that be in a more traditional…
- 5 Ways to Reset Your "Feel Submissive" Button by: lunaKM
  from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 7-23-11 Submission - it's hard work. For the 24/7 types it's an all the time thing. So what happens if you wake up one…
- A Mentor is Not Your Dom by: lunaKM (7)
  from Submissive Guide Newsletter 11-6-10 When someone says they have a mentor and that they are learning so much from them I'm happy for them. That is until…
- A Slave Heart – Do You Have One? Do You Need One? by: lunaKM (9)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 6/5/10 One of the many unique things about being a submissive is that you can focus your development any which way you…
- An Introduction to Body Service by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 11-5-11 One of the more intimate ways that we submissives can serve our Dominants is by learning and performing…
- Are You Cut Out to Be Submissive? by: lunaKM (8)
  From Submissive Guide Newsletter sent 12/7/09 Not everyone is capable of being submissive. It is even possible that you are not really cut out for it. We…
- DIY: How to Make a Duct Tape Flogger by: lunaKM (15)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 11-20-10 About a year ago I was challenged with a question, "Could I make a flogger out of anything?" This got me…
- Fantastic Submissive Videos for Learning and Growth on Kink Academy by: lunaKM
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 2-4-12 If you can't get out to munches in your community or conventions held around the world the next best thing is a…
- Getting to Know the Local and Not so Local Community by: lunaKM (2)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 4/10/10 One of the most feared activities of a novice is getting up the nerve to meet other people face to face. Yet…
- Halloween - A Good Time to Let Your Kink Out by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 10-23-10 Happy Halloween! Soon we'll see ghosts and goblins begging at our door for sweets and treats, but for now…
- Handling Absence in a Long Distance Relationship by: lunaKM (9)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 1/15/11 The reality of long-distance relationships, or any non live-in relationship, is that you will have to handle…
- How a Personal Protocol Can Aide Your Service by: lunaKM (3)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 9-11-10 The first time I heard the word protocol when introduced to BDSM it was some special ritualized order of things…
- How an Outline Aligned My Submission and What You Can Learn From It by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 5/28/11 The past month has been a busy month for me, as I prepared and delivered my first presentation at an event.…
- How to Make the Most Out of Your Bedroom BDSM by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 7/9/11 Bedroom BDSM is the most common form of BDSM relationship there is. So much of what we do has to happen behind…
- How to Use the "30 Days" Memes Effectively to Maximize Submissive Growth by: lunaKM
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 12-17-11 We've all seen them on other people's blogs. You may have even done them as a way to prompt yourself with…
- Keeping It Fresh - How to Spice Up Your Kinky Life by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 10-22-11 You've been doing the same ole' kinky sh*t since the beginning and it's getting old. Really old. So what do…
- Know Thyself, Don't Rush Into a Relationship Until You Know These Six Things by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 3/19/11 The excitement of a new D/s relationship is often the first thing that a novice submissive seeks. How else are…
- Learning Good Observation Skills by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 3-5-11 Over 6 years ago now, my perceptions of what a submissive was were still very shallow and incomplete. I believed…
- Many Different Relationship Types by: lunaKM (3)
  from Submissive Guide Newsletter 10-10-09 Relationships of any type are unique and special to those involved in them. But how many types of relationships…
- Mind Your Manners: Not just for kids anymore by: lunaKM (5)
  From The Submissive Guide Newsletter 11-7-09 When I admitted that I had crossed into adulthood, somewhere around 23, I realized that the manners that had…
- Purging Your Emotional Garbage Can Will Prepare You Better for Service by: lunaKM (5)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter August 7th, 2010 When we first begin exploring submission and our desires to serve there are usually a lot of baggage…
- Role Playing Adventures by: lunaKM (2)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 10-24-09 WHAT IS ROLE-PLAYING? When you think of role-playing what comes to your mind? Naughty school girl?…
- Season’s Beatings: Holidays Around Your Family by: lunaKM (2)
  From Submissive Guide Newsletter 11/21/09 Every time we have to face our family as a kink couple, Master and I have had to tone it down and disguise how we…
- Setting Realistic Goals to Realize Your Dreams by: lunaKM (1)
  From Submissive Guide Newsletter published 1/9/10 Every year many people sit down and make a long list of resolutions they'd like to accomplish in the…
- Some Gems of Simply Service by: lunaKM
  From Submissive Guide Newsletter 8/21/10 Part of my goals with Submissive Guide is to provide resources that can help you in all walks of your submissive…
- Strong-Willed and Opinionated: Can I be Submissive? by: lunaKM (8)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 2-19-11 Presented with the dilemma of being outspoken, independent and strong-willed when submissive desires crop up,…
- Submission in Marriage - Shifting from Husband and Wife to Dominant and Submissive by: lunaKM (13)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 10-08-11 Sexual exploration and adventurousness can happen at any time in a couple's life; and even more so once they…
- Talking About BDSM to Vanilla Folk: What to Say and What to Avoid by: lunaKM
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 4/16/11 Every semester I present a BDSM panel at my alma mater for the Human Sexuality class. I've been doing it for…
- The Heartache of a Breakup by: lunaKM (2)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 12/11/10 I've not experienced a D/s breakup and I hope I will never have to, but I have experienced heartache and…
- The Numbers Game: Age and Experience by: lunaKM (9)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 10/9/10 Age or experience, particularly of the Dominant seems to always been in question no matter where you are. You…
- The Popularity of BDSM by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 2/6/10 (Caveat: I am not an expert historian of BDSM. What I have learned I picked up along the way. I can't say with…
- The Secret of Communicating When You Are Shy by: lunaKM (4)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 9-17-11 Open communication is complicated by shyness. Addressing that shyness could help you open up to your partner…
- Those First Few Baby Steps by: lunaKM (2)
  From Submissive Guide Newsletter 6/19/10 Everyone has to start here. The very beginning, where all the jargon of BDSM starts to fill your mind and…
- Understanding Sub Fever by: lunaKM (1)
  This is from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 9-3-11 Sub fever, also known as sub frenzy is an often misunderstood condition for novice and well seasoned…
- What Does Breaking the Rules and Testing a Dominant's Limits Help You Learn? by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 6-25-11. Do you want to read these posts 3 months earlier and get other updates and discounts on products? Subscribe to…
- What FetLife Has Done by: lunaKM (26)
  UPDATE: New Post - How to Use FetLife From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 5/8/10 Just under 3 years ago the BDSM community was a very differnet place.…
- What if Submissive Guide Had a Book? by: lunaKM (7)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 4-30-11 Since the inception of Submissive Guide and its growth as a notable advice and self-help website I have had…
- What is Submission to You? by: lunaKM (2)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 11-19-11 Thinking back on the beginning of my exploration into submission I came to realize some simple things about…
- What To Do In a Bad Break-up Situation by: lunaKM (6)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 8-6-11 Rarely have I heard of an end of a relationship being good, civil yes, but good? Yet I have heard on numerous…
- When Your Dominant Plays With Others by: lunaKM (5)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 5/14/11 Disclaimer: This essay is not about when you encounter or find out your Dominant is cheating, but rather an…
- Why Safety is Preached to Novices and Why It's Important to Know Anyway by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 3/3/10 Being in the BDSM community for any length of time you are likely to come across the common sermons of SSC,…
- Why “To Please Him” Isn’t Always Good Enough by: lunaKM (9)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 1/29/11 The world is full of automatic responses that people use to common questions. One of the most common questions…
Category: Online Submission (16)
The cybersphere is a big place and can be overwhelming to try to be submissive behind the keyboard.
- A Lesson in Control with Self-Punishment by: lunaKM (8)
  Each and every day there is the chance to scew up and be disobedient. Luckily, most of us won't break rules every single day but when we do we know that…
- A Slave Heart – Do You Have One? Do You Need One? by: lunaKM (9)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 6/5/10 One of the many unique things about being a submissive is that you can focus your development any which way you…
- Am I Ready to Go from Online to Real Life? by: lunaKM (2)
  I'm always amazed at the number of submissives that contact me who are in online-only relationships; even though that is how I started with KnyghtMare. An…
- Can Online Training Work? by: lunaKM (6)
  This week's video is about online training and submission. The world of online Dominance and submission is riddled with skepticism and disbelief that…
- Cyber Submission and Exploring D/s Online by: lunaKM (8)
  Today’s post comes from Skylerpet, a submissive pet in a D/s relationship with experience in online submission. Thank you Skylerpet! Online D/s is…
- Do I have to Like Pain to be Submissive? by: lunaKM (2)
  This week's video post is about masochism and submission. I mentioned this in the post about myths that submissive's aren't always masochist. I…
- Don't Assume Submissive Means Sister by: lunaKM (11)
  You know you've entered online submissive ground when everyone you don't know starts to refer to you as sister. It's been years since I've 'lived' online but…
- Don't Be a Shelf-Sitter by: LadySneak (5)
  There is a problem that is more commonly within online submission that I refer to as shelf-sitting. I have experienced it and am slowly seeing it happen to…
- Identifying Fake Dominants and Posers by: lunaKM (18)
  This week's video tip is on Red Flags of Fake Dominants. The question I was asked today is, "How do you identify fake Dominants and what are some red…
- Making the Transition from Online to Face-to-Face Submission by: LadySneak (3)
  This is the first post from our new contributor LadySneak! Please welcome her to the community and enjoy her first contribution about her personal struggle…
- Online Encounters and the Danger of Blind Faith by: lunaKM (2)
  As a novice submissive in this technology age you typically explore submission online in chat room and in instant messaging. There is nothing wrong with this…
- Real Life vs. Online, the Battle for Understanding by: lunaKM (15)
  “What one has not experienced, one will never understand in print.” -Isadora Duncan I began my journey into D/s and BDSM in online chat rooms; namely…
- Sexting and Mobile Kink Keep the Home Fires Burning by: lunaKM (4)
  Sexting gets so much bad press these days when it comes to teens sharing naughty pictures of themselves and their friends. It's not just teens that are doing…
- The Novelty of Slash Speak by: lunaKM (12)
  Since the advent of the internet and the birth of BDSM online there has been slash speak. Slash speak is a protocol established by online dominants for their…
- The Realities of Online Submission by: lunaKM (1)
  Exploring submission online is a growing reality. Chat networks, IRC chat rooms and websites developed for real-time fantasy all have areas where the D/s…
- When You're Left to Beating Yourself Up - Online SM at a Glance by: lunaKM (2)
  Online BDSM relationships come in many different flavors. As I've explored before, they can be a good novice outlet for learning more about yourself in a safe,…
Category: Personal Growth (53)
Personal growth and self-improvement requires a few skills. Allow the advice here to help you figure things out for yourself.
- A New Way to Learn: Submissive Guide’s First eCourse! by: lunaKM
  When I first created Submissive Guide, I wanted to give novice and experienced submissives a place to learn, grow and mature into their personal best submissive…
- A Reflection of Your Dominant by: lunaKM (1)
  You are a Reflection of Your Dominant - Or Are You? I've heard this numerous times and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Kind, good-intentioned people say that…
- Changing for Master and Maintaining Ourselves by: nan {SL} (4)
  A slave I admire wrote a blog on how she felt she had changed since she met her Master. She wanted to go back to the more outgoing, social being she had been…
- Creating a Personal Protocol by: lunaKM
  Protocol. It's a word that is used in BDSM groups online and off with a sort of secrecy and awe. It's relegated to those in 24/7 type relationships and…
- Failing to Find a Good BDSM Education Online by: lunaKM (3)
  When a BDSM novice comes to me to ask for advice I like to refer them to a few blogs that I enjoy who tell it like it is. A blog written by someone living and…
- Faith by: Charmed Blyss
  From the soul of Charmed Blyss I thought I would come up with some snazzy title, or something with more zing than ‘Faith’, but life has moved me to the…
- Fake It Till You Make It by: lunaKM (2)
  I was doing some reading the other day and came across the following in a book about submission, An old tool for self-improvement is to “act as if.”…
- Formal Training – Do You Need It? by: lunaKM (7)
  When I was a novice submissive, one of the questions I got asked pretty regularly online was, "do you have any training?" Well, no I don't think I had. What…
- Home Sweet Home by: lunaKM (2)
  Listening to holiday music on the radio the popular holiday song "Home Sweet Home" comes on and gets me to thinking about my submission. Yeah, I know that…
- How a Personal Protocol Can Aide Your Service by: lunaKM (3)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 9-11-10 The first time I heard the word protocol when introduced to BDSM it was some special ritualized order of things…
- How to Be More Aware by: lunaKM (1)
  In this hustle and bustle world we are losing an important connection. No, I'm not talking about the internet; we are all plugged and tuned out from the world…
- How to Use FetLife to Broaden Your Learning by: lunaKM (5)
  Since late 2008 FetLife has proven itself to be a valuable resource for those persons looking for kink advice and learning all about fetishes they may not have…
- How to Use the "30 Days" Memes Effectively to Maximize Submissive Growth by: lunaKM
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 12-17-11 We've all seen them on other people's blogs. You may have even done them as a way to prompt yourself with…
- It's Not Over Until The Fat Lady Sings AKA The Ending Of A D/s Relationship by: bgtreasure (4)
  As always the views in this article are mine and mine alone unless otherwise stated. I write about what I know and what I know is me and my journey. As…
- Know Thyself, Don't Rush Into a Relationship Until You Know These Six Things by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 3/19/11 The excitement of a new D/s relationship is often the first thing that a novice submissive seeks. How else are…
- Personal Development Challenge by: lunaKM (11)
  In the previous post about formal training I mentioned that you don't have to have a Dominant to begin training yourself to be a better submissive. Even in a…
- Research Page: Improving Body Image by: lunaKM (1)
  The multitude of essays and articles and blog posts I go through when I’m researching a topic rarely get shared with all of you, but no more. I’m opening…
- SGBHC #3 | Is Submission a Gift? by: lunaKM (7)
  Welcome everyone to the Submissive Guide Blog Hop Challenge (SGBHC)! I am so thrilled to see you here! First, the challenge... Submissive…
- SGBHC #4 | Questioning Your Submission by: lunaKM (15)
  Welcome everyone to the Submissive Guide Blog Hop Challenge (SGBHC)! I am so thrilled to see you here! First, the challenge... Submissive…
- SGBHC #6 | Submissives You Look Up To by: lunaKM (9)
  Welcome everyone to the Submissive Guide Blog Hop Challenge (SGBHC)! I am so thrilled to see you here! First, the challenge... Submissive…
- SGBHC #7 | 7 Things You Have Learned From A Dominant about Submission by: lunaKM (2)
  Welcome everyone to the Submissive Guide Blog Hop Challenge (SGBHC)! I am so thrilled to see you here! First, the challenge... Submissive…
- SGBHC | 25 Things by: lunaKM (19)
  Welcome everyone to the First Submissive Guide Blog Hop Challenge (SGBHC)! I am so thrilled to see you here! First, the challenge... Submissive…
- SGBHC | Most Valuable Asset by: lunaKM (7)
  Welcome everyone to the Submissive Guide Blog Hop Challenge (SGBHC)! I am so thrilled to see you here! First, the challenge... Submissive…
- Single in the Scene Part I: Boundaries by: Charmed Blyss
  Recently, I was contemplating the situation of being single in the Scene because of an email I received from someone concerning interacting with male dominants.…
- Submissive Blog Hop Challenge #1 | 25 Things by: lunaKM (7)
  One of the things that people love most about this site is gaining new knowledge and viewpoints. I have taken it upon myselves to organize a day to take…
- Submissive Blog Hop Challenge #2 | Most Valuable Asset by: lunaKM
  One of the things that people love most about this site is gaining new knowledge and viewpoints. I have taken it upon myselves to organize a day to take…
- Submissive Guide Blog Hop Challenge #3 | Is Submission a Gift? by: lunaKM (7)
  One of the things that people love most about this site is gaining new knowledge and viewpoints. I have taken it upon myselves to organize a day to take…
- Submissive Guide Blog Hop Challenge #6 | Submissives You Look Up To by: lunaKM
  One of the things that people love most about this site is gaining new knowledge and viewpoints. I have taken it upon myselves to organize a day to take…
- Submissive Guide Blog Hop Challenge #7 | 7 Things You Have Learned From A Dominant about Submission by: lunaKM
  One of the things that people love most about this site is gaining new knowledge and viewpoints. I have taken it upon myselves to organize a day to take…
- The Importance of Taking Your Time by: lunaKM (2)
  One thing I have learned from my experience as a submissive and my encounters with submissives and slaves all over the place has been the importance of taking…
- The Secret of Communicating When You Are Shy by: lunaKM (4)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 9-17-11 Open communication is complicated by shyness. Addressing that shyness could help you open up to your partner…
- Tina-poLD's Personal Thoughts on Domestic Service by: Guest Author (2)
  tina-poLD was inspired by the month long series of Domestic Service on Submissive Guide and has shared her own person thoughts on the subject. Would you like…
- Using Your Fear for Better Submissive Growth by: Guest Author (1)
  This guest post is a honeymoon gift from mi_vida. Lets face it, we all have fears. I'll be the very first person to admit it! In fact I'll do you one better…
- What Does Breaking the Rules and Testing a Dominant's Limits Help You Learn? by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 6-25-11. Do you want to read these posts 3 months earlier and get other updates and discounts on products? Subscribe to…
- What I've Learned From My Young Dominant by: Guest Author (7)
  This guest post is a honeymoon gift from Agog. The one thing I have learned since I started nosing around in BDSM is that I don’t know myself nearly as…
- Why I Used to Believe I Could Never Be a Slave by: lunaKM (6)
  Within weeks of the realization that I wanted to be more than a kinky bed partner I made the personal definitions of submissive and slave. Since then, over 7…
- Write a Life Mission Statement by: lunaKM (3)
  Just like a business mission statement a life mission statement helps to define who you are, where you are going and how you want to get there. Becoming the…
- You Should Never Assume That All Information is Known by: lunaKM
  In today's instant culture, the information we want to find can be discovered with just a click of the mouse. It's a fantastic for the kink community because…
- You Tattooed What on Your Ass? - Rational Thinking about Relationship Tattoos by: bgtreasure (3)
  Lets start off with me telling you that I do have tattoos. I have one on my ankle that I haven't looked at in a while and hope has faded (the name of a once…
Category: Play/Scene (146)
Explore the different ways to serve during those BDSM playtime moments.
- Exploring Hypnotism by: nan {SL} (2)
  The idea of hypnotism always frightened me a little. I never thought it was entertaining to watch someone go up on stage and act like a chicken or in some…
- What's In a Name? by: thisgirl (11)
  Over the years I have had quite a few online names and aliases. Some have stayed with me, some haven't. Some should never have existed in the first place…
- 3 Music Playlists For The Dungeon and Bedroom by: lunaKM (2)
  Music always has a place in play for setting the right mood. We all have our own preferences but here are three playlists that I go back to again and again. …
- A Human Pet by: Guest Author (1)
  This is a guest post by SkylerPet. She has written a Pet Play Primer on this site, and answered a question I sent her from a reader about what a human pet…
- A Single Submissive Packs a Toybag by: lunaKM (2)
  If you intend to venture into play on a casual level or at play parties and clubs as a single submissive you need to arrive prepared for play. This includes…
- A Slap in the Face by: Guest Author (5)
  This guest post was written by Rick's Fucktoy. It was first published on Sensual Service which I closed when I opened Submissive Guide. I don't think I…
- Building Your Fetish Wardrobe on a Budget by: lunaKM (3)
  You want to start attending the events in your local community but their dress code is "Fetish Wear Only." How do you dress for these events without spending…
- Caring for Yourself After a Scene: Self-Aftercare by: lunaKM (24)
  Aftercare is an important part of recovery from play for many people. It is most common to experience a drop in emotions and energy after play from within…
- Common Pervertables Around the Home by: lunaKM (7)
  BDSM can be an expensive hobby or lifestyle. Tools of the trade are rarely cheap and with the many differnet typs you’ll have a struggle limiting yourself.…
- Dressing for a Play Party; What to Wear by: lunaKM (1)
  After the invitation has been recieved and you decide to go comes a moment of panic for many submissives. What do you wear to a play party? As with everything…
- Embarrassment vs. Humiliation - One Opinion by: Guest Author (2)
  This has always been a fascinating subject for me. Humiliation, for many, is a large – perhaps even important – part of their D/s dynamic. For these…
- Entering Subspace Do's and Don'ts by: lunaKM (2)
  When your body overloads on adrenaline or endorphins you can reach a high that many call subspace. It doesn't happen to everyone, nor does it happen every…
- Etiquette at Play Parties by: lunaKM
  Each social situation we expose ourselves to has it's own set of rules and behaviors. This is also true of BDSM events, perhaps even moreso. A play party will…
- Facing Sudden Illness During Play/Scene Time by: lunaKM (3)
  We never want our scene time to end. It's fun and pleasant and lovely. When we play we have a chance that the blissful time we are experiencing will end well…
- Find a New Kink in the Archives by: lunaKM
  There are so many excellent posts in the archives of Submissive Guide that I'd like to showcase some of them today. BDSM play can be so many different things…
- First Aid for Bruises, Abrasions and Other After Play Marks by: lunaKM (4)
  When Master and I play, it's very likely that there will be marks, at least temporarily. Caring for them is part of the aftercare we have set up for me. We…
- First Playtime Jitters and How to Arrive Prepared by: lunaKM
  Every submissive goes though it. You may be going through it now. Those butterflies in your stomach because you've just set a date for your first play session.…
- Going to the Doctor with Kink-Related Marks or Bruises by: lunaKM (8)
  It's happened to the best of us. You and your partner got a little frisky the other day and now you have a few bruises that haven't faded yet. Your Doctor's…
- Halloween - A Good Time to Let Your Kink Out by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 10-23-10 Happy Halloween! Soon we'll see ghosts and goblins begging at our door for sweets and treats, but for now…
- How to Beg When Asked by: lunaKM (23)
  Begging is an art form for submissives. Each of us has our own talent or lack thereof in this area. For some it is part of humiliation, or just every day…
- How To Help Your Dominant Recover From Play by: lunaKM (9)
  When aftercare is mentioned, it is rarely associated with the Dominant. We hear all about how to help the submissive come down from the endorphin high, treat…
- How to Talk Dirty by: lunaKM (3)
  My first experience with anything sex was through porn. The girls of porn taught me how sex might be for me. And so when it came time to have sex for the very…
- How to Use FetLife to Broaden Your Learning by: lunaKM (5)
  Since late 2008 FetLife has proven itself to be a valuable resource for those persons looking for kink advice and learning all about fetishes they may not have…
- Keeping It Fresh - How to Spice Up Your Kinky Life by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 10-22-11 You've been doing the same ole' kinky sh*t since the beginning and it's getting old. Really old. So what do…
- Kink Academy - A New Way to Learn Kink by: lunaKM
  Kink Academy has been around for just over a year now and has tons of videos on their site by BDSM and Sex-positive educators all over the nation.
- Learning About Pain by: Guest Author (4)
  This is a guest post from Calliope. I've always thought of myself as a complete wuss when it comes to pain. My typical response to anything that hurts has…
- Let's Play! BDSM Activities From a Submissive Viewpoint by: lunaKM
  One of every submissive's first experiences happens to be in the bedroom or dungeon. That's why this month I'd like to focus on the joys and pleasures of the…
- Let’s Party! by: nan {SL} (2)
  Parties are a ‘rite of passage’ for some in the BDSM community. How do you find one? What can you expect? And most importantly (for me) what on earth can…
- Masturbation: When It Becomes Not So Private Anymore by: bgtreasure (4)
  Introducing a new contributor here at Submissive Guide: BGtreasure! The views in this article are mine and mine alone unless otherwise stated. So lets…
- My Toys Or Yours? by: Guest Author (2)
  This is a guest post by Laney who contacted me when I called for new contributors. This is her first post. In August of 2008 I entered the world of BDSM…
- Old Fashioned BDSM Christmas by: Guest Author
  By: Shayla Moore If you are into the BDSM lifestyle, you may be interested in creating new Christmas traditions that involve your chosen lifestyle. When…
- Perspectives: Erotic Spanking by: lunaKM (2)
  Erotic spanking. It is probably the most common kinky play activity and is done in a lot of relationships that may know nothing about kink at all to those who…
- Perspectives: Flogging by: lunaKM (1)
  I believe the second kinky activity introduced to me after spanking was flogging. Since then I've had a love/love relationship with it. Flogging is when a top…
- Perspectives: Rope Bondage by: lunaKM (2)
  Playing with rope is one of the first things that I was exposed to when I discovered kink. To me it was safe and tame and something that didn’t scream kinky…
- Pet Play and Human Pets: A Primer by: lunaKM (13)
  Today's post comes from Skylerpet, a submissive pet in a D/s relationship who volunteered to write an essay for me after seeing the Weekly Tips on YouTube.…
- Processing Pain and Being a Masochist by: lunaKM (5)
  Being that I’m a masochist, I love pain. I’ve never really thought about it or analyzed what that means really, but reading other people’s blogs has…
- Processing Pain in Play: Learning a Processing Technique by: lunaKM (4)
  This is a continuing of the series on pain processing. If you want to read previous essays, check the first in the series on natural pain processing. Pain…
- Processing Pain in Play: Negative Pain Management Techniques by: lunaKM
  Yesterday we talked about the three ways that people naturally process pain. Today and tomorrow I'm going to cover the ways we manage the pain we experience.…
- Processing Pain in Play: Overcoming the False Edge by: lunaKM (4)
  In this last post in the pain management series we'll talk about the false edge, limits and the true edge. I hope you've enjoyed this series as much as I've…
- Processing Pain in Play: Positive Pain Management Techniques by: lunaKM (3)
  I'm continuing the discussion on processing pain in play today. If you missed yesterday's post, you'll want to read about Negative Pain Management Techniques…
- Processing Pain in Play: What Can Interrupt or Block Pain Processing? by: lunaKM
  We are nearing the end of this series on pain processing in play. What do you think can interrupt your pain processing ability? If you've experienced…
- Processing Pain in Play: What is the Benefit of Pain, Anyway? by: lunaKM (2)
  Continuing on the topic of processing pain we come to a very basic question, "What's the benefit of this pain, anyway?" If you aren't a masochist this can…
- Processing Pain in Play: What is the Natural Process? by: lunaKM (6)
  Sadomasochism is the giving and receiving of sensations. In a lot of cases this also includes pain. Many of the sadomasochistic tendencies bleed into our…
- Psychological Aspects of Consensual Rape by: Guest Author (5)
  This post is written by Rick's Fucktoy. It was first posted on Sensual Service, which I closed when I opened Submissive Guide. "Consensual rape." Quite an…
- Research Page: Subspace by: lunaKM
  I collect a lot of resources in the way of links when I'm looking for information to write articles on. My research pages are a dumping ground of sorts of all…
- Role Playing Adventures by: lunaKM (2)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 10-24-09 WHAT IS ROLE-PLAYING? When you think of role-playing what comes to your mind? Naughty school girl?…
- Sub Space: The Ultimate Frontier by: lunaKM (1)
  Exploring submission play can involve intense sensation. As a normal part of some submissive's play is sub space. Not everyone reaches subspace each and every…
- Submitting Is Not Without Responsibility by: lunaKM (6)
  This post was going to be a video post but since I'm working off of my little netbook for the time being (my laptop died) I was unable to create the video. I…
- Submitting to Pain by: nan {SL} (7)
  BDSM immediately conjures up images of a whip-wielding Dominatrix punishing some poor submissive who is screaming in pain. As delightful as that image is, not…
- The Basics of Negotiating a Scene by: lunaKM (1)
  It can be very scary approaching a Dominant and asking them to play with you. The butterflies in your belly can make it very difficult to take that first step.…
- The Beginner at Play by: Guest Author (2)
  This is a guest post by The Beginner. I am very much aware of how mild and tame the following post is. This isn't an account of of extreme BDSM. It isn't…
- The Emotional Side of Sub Drop by: lunaKM (20)
  Sub Drop can come in many different forms. Sub Drop is the emotional and physical affects of the release and drop of endorphins in the body after a play…
- The Ins and Outs of Fetishes by: lunaKM (2)
  "I have a fetish for wool socks, I just love them!" "I have a fetish for corsets, I can't get off without thinking of them!" One of these statements is a…
- The Many Layers of Sub Space by: lunaKM (6)
  This week's video post is about sub space. When you first heard about sub space it was probably something that you either thought you'd never experience…
- The Question of Aftercare by: lunaKM (4)
  Aftercare is an elusive beast. Sometimes I need it and sometimes I'd rather be left alone. I'm never very sure which mood I'll be in when we begin playing…
- The Real Truth Behind the Fear of Topping from the Bottom by: lunaKM (5)
  There are a lot of things on the internet talking about topping from the bottom as being a bad bad submissive thing. It's made people terrified that…
- The Truth About Orgasm Control and Denial by: lunaKM (11)
  The idea of orgasm control or denial strikes fear in novice submissives. "What do you mean give over my ability to orgasm whenever I want?" Sure you could…
- To Safeword or Not To Safeword by: lunaKM (2)
  Now that is a question, isn't it? There is no wrong or right answer but there is a clear and focused way to figure out if you are someone would would desire a…
- Understanding Your Body's Responses During Play by: lunaKM (4)
  When you engage in playtime with a Dominant your body is the canvas for sensation and pleasure. You can run the gamut of emotions and many of them can take you…
- Use Your Safeword Without Guilt by: lunaKM (3)
  I've talked about safewords here before. I believe they are very important for new relationships and when new activities are being introduced. A stop word is…
- Using Playtime Check Ins Wisely by: lunaKM (2)
  A check in is where either partner provides clues as to their comfort, pain tolerance, pleasure level or other information during a scene or play session. Even…
- Virgins Can Love BDSM Too by: lunaKM
  Virginity. It's valued and prized and then remembered. There's even people who believe in a second virginity. Of course there are also BDSM virgins when people…
- What a pain: Does Pain Tolerance Change Over Time? by: thisgirl (2)
  A question I was recently asked : “how has you pain tolerance been affected sense you began BDSM? Also when you first met grimly, if he were to put you…
- What is a Play Party? by: lunaKM
  When you enter the local BDSM community one of the events you may be exposed to is a play party. A play party is a essentially a party were BDSM play can…
- What You Should Bring to Play Sessions [Video] by: lunaKM
  With the wide range or play activities and tools needed for them, you can be sure that you will have at least one full bag of items. Yes submissives, you…
- When Top Drop Rules Your Relationship by: Guest Author (8)
  This is a guest post by tlbsab. You can find her here on the SubGuide Club. Have you ever had everything you wanted only to have it crash around you because…
- Where to Buy a Collar Online by: lunaKM (6)
  Places to buy a collar are numerous. Each relationship has a different idea of what the collar should look like. Listed below are a few of the many places you…
- Your Kink is Not My Kink and That's Okay by: lunaKM (5)
  Everyday I'm exposed to or learn about another kink or fetish that I was not aware of. It's a wonderful and fascinating experience that continues to expand my…
- [Video] Can I Access Subspace Too? by: lunaKM
  We talk about subspace a lot in our descriptions of play and scenes we may get into. As an experienced submissive I tend to forget that moment early on…
Category: Relationships (82)
Learn about relationship dynamics and joining two people into a D/s couple
- "Being Love" versus "Being In Love" by: Twist (5)
  Welcome new contributor: Mz Twist. The standard American "Disney" propaganda tells us in no uncertain terms that we are to hold our love and our bodies…
- ...And Along Came Baby: Parenting and Submission by: malak Briar-rose (12)
  As a parent of 2 children and the active property of my Owner and Husband, I thought perhaps it was time to begin writing some about the trials and tribulations…
- 10 Tips to Make Moving In With Your Dominant (or vise-versa) Smooth and Easy by: lunaKM (4)
  from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 9/25/10 The progress of a serious relationship leads to moving in with the other. Whether that be in a more traditional…
- 22 Deal Breakers that May Be Preventing Your One from Approaching You by: LaneyDoll (6)
  I was once chatting with some friends of mine who had mentioned that they were unable to find “their One.” Now, some of these friends are tops; some are…
- 24/7 Slavery by: Guest Author (5)
  This post is written by Rick's Fucktoy. It was first posted on Sensual Service, which I closed when I opened Submissive Guide. 24/7. All day, every day. Is…
- 5 Ways to Express Your Gratitude to Your Dominant by: lunaKM (2)
  With Thanksgiving (USA) just around the corner I thought it would be fitting to write about gratitude, and how to express your gratitude to the one you serve.…
- 7 Ways to Maintain a Long Distance D/s Relationship by: lunaKM (2)
  There is an art to maintaining any relationship but a long distance one requires a bit more work because you rarely, if ever, see each other in the flesh. LDRs…
- 8 Reasons Why Your Dominant Takes Care of You When You Are Sick by: lunaKM (6)
  ...and why you should stop fussing about it. I've been reminded again today as I lay about sick with a snazzy summer flu that instead of feeling like a…
- A Lesson in Control with Self-Punishment by: lunaKM (8)
  Each and every day there is the chance to scew up and be disobedient. Luckily, most of us won't break rules every single day but when we do we know that…
- Are Discipline and Punishment The Same? by: lunaKM (6)
  Reading across the blogosphere you will encounter these words almost synonymous to each other: Discipline and Punishment. The words are far from the same…
- Are You Cheating on Your Dominant With Your Ex Dominant's Memory? by: lunaKM (1)
  This is a question tammy asked for March Question Month: I have had a few Doms and i am in a relationship where I live with one.I didnt think I could find…
- Being With an Older Dominant by: thisgirl (13)
  There is a 21 year age difference between myself and my Master . I am 30 and he is 51. When we met I hadn't expected we would end up where we are now, which…
- But My Partner is Vanilla... by: lunaKM (2)
  So you've discovered kink and want to try some things out. You talk to your partner about it. Unfortunately, no matter how you suggest things to your partner…
- Chat Night Transcript from “Recovering from a Breakup” Talk by: lunaKM
  from chat night 10-4-11 (8:05:07 PM) lunaKM: Let's start out with a little introduction period. Everyone please let us know the general area you are located,…
- Chemistry and Prince Charming by: Guest Author (7)
  This is a guest post by kahluna. It's funny to me to see people wanting a Dominant but then looking for "chemistry" as well. They want to fall in love with…
- Coming Clean: Admitting Your Disobedience by: lunaKM (6)
  We all have those little voices in our head that tell us what to do. Sometimes it tries to convince us that our disobedience is okay. The voices are very…
- Conflict Resolution in a D/s Relationship by: lunaKM (4)
  Last month I had a question show up in my inbox that actually had me puzzled for a bit. Not that the question was difficult at all, but that I honestly didn't…
- Daddy/Little Girl Relationships: A Personal Look by: Guest Author (12)
  This is a guest post by ~melly. She's in a Daddy/little girl dynamic and volunteered to write this post for Submissive Guide. i've slept with a teddy bear…
- Dating in the Lifestyle; What's the Big Deal? by: lunaKM (3)
  “It’s so hard to find someone in the Lifestyle that I’m compatible with. You are so lucky to have found someone.” I don’t know how many times I…
- Do You Need the "Luck o' the Irish" to Meet that Perfect Dominant? by: lunaKM (1)
  Looking for your partner is challenging, no doubt about it. You've probably done the bar scene, the alternative adult dating sites, and maybe a few of the…
- Emotional Dependency in D/s Relationships by: lunaKM (3)
  Recently in the chat room here on Submissive Guide there has been discussion about emotional dependence on our Dominants and the relationship. Just about every…
- Establishing a Safe, Trusting Environment for Talk by: lunaKM (4)
  The cornerstone for a very good relationship, D/s or not is good communication. When you've been at this awhile you don't have to think much about it because…
- Expressions of Wants and Needs by: lunaKM (2)
  In the previous post about Wants and Needs we began to understand the importance of Needs for ourselves and our relationship. If you would like to go back and…
- Finding a Compatible Partner in the Lifestyle by: lunaKM
  “It’s so hard to find someone in the Lifestyle that I’m compatible with. You are so lucky to have found someone.” I don’t know how many times I…
- Going the Distance - How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship by: thisgirl (4)
  My dominant, Grimly, and I are in a long distance relationship of 200 miles and have been since we commenced our relationship in 2005. To be honest, I never…
- Handling Absence in a Long Distance Relationship by: lunaKM (9)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 1/15/11 The reality of long-distance relationships, or any non live-in relationship, is that you will have to handle…
- Have a Community Spirit You Can Be Proud Of by: Guest Author
  This is a guest post by Laney. Well, you did it. You finally took the steps necessary-you found a munch, made friends, joined a dungeon and it happened.…
- Helping Your Partner Become More Dominant by: lunaKM (2)
  The second question I received for March question month came to me in my email. I'm a strong person, but something in me was missing...until i admitted what i…
- Honest Communication or Bust by: Rayne (9)
  I'm sitting here, staring at the blank page, turning over and over in my mind what I could possibly write about. There's so much information, here at…
- How to Make the Most Out of Your Bedroom BDSM by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 7/9/11 Bedroom BDSM is the most common form of BDSM relationship there is. So much of what we do has to happen behind…
- How to Talk to Your Dominant by: lunaKM (7)
  I'm still amazed at how many novices on FetLife and in my inbox ask me how to talk to their Dominant to ask for what they want or need. Others fail at open…
- I Don't Want to Complain Too Much by: lunaKM (7)
  I am a high maintenance submissive. I’m well aware of the work that my Master has to constantly do to keep me happy and to keep him well-pleased. I’m not…
- Identifying Fake Dominants and Posers by: lunaKM (18)
  This week's video tip is on Red Flags of Fake Dominants. The question I was asked today is, "How do you identify fake Dominants and what are some red…
- If I feel Jealousy can I still be Poly? by: Guest Author (3)
  This is a guest post by Aria. She has written for Submissive Guide in the past, you can check out her post on Two Dominants here. Today she brings a common…
- Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner by: ted_subby (4)
  Welcome ted_subby as a new contributor to Submissive Guide! His first post is about a topic that I know many of you can benefit from. Enjoy! “What do I do…
- Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner: Part 2- My Partner is Not Interested by: ted_subby
  “What do I do if my significant other is vanilla?” This is part 2 and deals with a situation in which your vanilla partner is not receptive to what has…
- Introducing Kink into an Existing Relationship by: lunaKM (3)
  When you discover that you might be kinky there are a lot of questions surrounding how to accept that. One of those may be trying to explore that kink with…
- Is Monogamy a Dying Trend? by: lunaKM (7)
  Monogamy isn't dead. It is still the leading form of relationship in D/s and SM relationships, no matter what someone else might tell you. Human nature…
- It's Not Over Until The Fat Lady Sings AKA The Ending Of A D/s Relationship by: bgtreasure (4)
  As always the views in this article are mine and mine alone unless otherwise stated. I write about what I know and what I know is me and my journey. As…
- Living the Dream 24/7 by: nan {SL} (4)
  How do you maintain a 24/7 D/s relationship and still live in the real world? This is my new challenge as my Master moved in with me late this summer. Ritual…
- Living with Kids While in the D/s Lifestyle by: Guest Author
  This is a guest post by Christian. He is a switch male of the D/s lifestyle for the past 14 years. For my first post here I am going to write about…
- Love, honour and obey by: thisgirl (3)
  Like Luna, I'm also getting married to my Dom this year! We have been together seven years in February but it feels so much longer, I think thats a good…
- Maintenance Spankings; Why Do It? by: lunaKM (2)
  This week's video post is about maintenance spankings. Maintenance spankings are a way to keep the relationship fresh, revive the roles on a regular basis…
- Making Long Distance Relationships Work For You by: Guest Author (2)
  This is a guest post by Sephani. She contacted me via email with an interest in writing a post and here it is! Long-distance relationships (LDR) of any…
- Many Different Relationship Types by: lunaKM (3)
  from Submissive Guide Newsletter 10-10-09 Relationships of any type are unique and special to those involved in them. But how many types of relationships…
- Mapping Out Your Ideal Submission by: lunaKM (3)
  Continuing the work on your training resume, I'd like to talk about mapping out how you dream of your submission being. This is a discussion of ideals and…
- More Than One D/s Household Living Together by: SehAnru (1)
  Sometimes it happens that there is more than one D/s or M/s family under one roof. Many wonder how this could work out. Sometimes this happens for financial…
- Pet Play and Human Pets: A Primer by: lunaKM (13)
  Today's post comes from Skylerpet, a submissive pet in a D/s relationship who volunteered to write an essay for me after seeing the Weekly Tips on YouTube.…
- Readers' View on Polyamory by: lunaKM (5)
  A couple weeks ago I held a Roundtable discussion on Polyamory. You had a lot to say about it. I also had a guest post on polyamory, written by May. Comin…
- Research Page: Collaring and Ceremonies by: lunaKM
  Just like the other research pages, this is my collection of links that I've put together as I read and researched a topic. Today's topic is collaring and…
- Responsibility in a D/s Relationship by: Sate (10)
  As a woman, wife and sub I often times feel like the weight of the world rest with me. In every relationship there is give and take and a D/srelationship is no…
- Rules of engagement by: thisgirl (3)
  I got engaged to my Master, Grimly, in September 2009. The engagement itself was pretty kinky since this took place at a fetish party that occurred whilst we…
- Self Love in a D/s Relationship by: lunaKM (6)
  Before I entered a D/s relationship masturbation was a regular recreational activity for me. It was also private. Even when I was married I didn't masturbate…
- Sexting and Mobile Kink Keep the Home Fires Burning by: lunaKM (4)
  Sexting gets so much bad press these days when it comes to teens sharing naughty pictures of themselves and their friends. It's not just teens that are doing…
- Submission in Marriage - Shifting from Husband and Wife to Dominant and Submissive by: lunaKM (13)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 10-08-11 Sexual exploration and adventurousness can happen at any time in a couple's life; and even more so once they…
- Submissive Guide Blog Hop Challenge #8 | Characteristics Essential to Ownership by: lunaKM
  One of the things that people love most about this site is gaining new knowledge and viewpoints. I have taken it upon myself to organize a day to take place…
- The Disposable Relationship Mentality by: lunaKM (11)
  I've been witness to a shocking new trend in relationships lately. Perhaps I'm old school or old fashioned but what I'm seeing in today's society, and not just…
- The Heartache of a Breakup by: lunaKM (2)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 12/11/10 I've not experienced a D/s breakup and I hope I will never have to, but I have experienced heartache and…
- The Impact of Pregnancy on Service and Play by: malak Briar-rose (1)
  Because of the content of this post I feel I must begin with a disclaimer: This is NOT meant to be medical advice or anything even related to it. This is an…
- The Importance of Rules by: lunaKM (9)
  Rules, instructions and assignments are things that are given to me by my Dominant for very important reasons. To follow them should bring me the pride and…
- The Newness of It: Understanding a Relationship by: lunaKM (8)
  This is a response to the following request for advice: I have a Dom, and He loves me. But the things is, sometimes he act as my “boyfriend” then he acts…
- The Outline of a Good Compatible Dominant by: lunaKM (1)
  It's easy to fall in love, but hard to find the right person to catch you. ~ @iam_jhurlz Dominants the world over are unique and different - just like we…
- The Roundtable: D/s with Kids At Home by: lunaKM (4)
  Every so often I want to open up the blog for you to share and teach me on a topic that I don’t know a lot about. This is your chance to teach me and the…
- The Roundtable: Open Marriages by: lunaKM (1)
  Every so often I want to open up the blog for you to share and teach me on a topic that I don’t know a lot about. This is your chance to teach me and the…
- The Roundtable: Polyamory by: lunaKM (8)
  Every so often I want to open up the blog for you to share and teach me on a topic that I don't know a lot about. This is your chance to teach me and the other…
- This Collar, That Collar, Your Collar, My Collar by: lunaKM (1)
  A collar for submissives is one of the most fundamental symbols of their relationship and one that is usually gaurded and protected with their heart. With…
- Two Dominants by: Guest Author (2)
  Today's guest post is by Aria, a bi poly switch kinkster. So currently I have 2 dominants, Edge and Vice. You would think that to have 2 Doms I would have…
- Using Contracts in D/s Relationships by: lunaKM (1)
  Contracts are a sticky subject in discussions. I've briefly covered it before in this article. The opinions are all over the place as far as their value or…
- Using Contracts to Negotiate a Relationship by: lunaKM (1)
  When you get married, you have to legally sign a document attesting to your decision to be married. The legal document can come in many forms but most have a…
- What I've Learned From My Young Dominant by: Guest Author (7)
  This guest post is a honeymoon gift from Agog. The one thing I have learned since I started nosing around in BDSM is that I don’t know myself nearly as…
- What Is Polyamory Anyway? by: lunaKM (1)
  Today's post comes from May (follow her @readheadgirl) a writer and artist. For the longest time when I heard “polyamory,” I thought of hippies in the…
- What Novice Dominants Really Want in a More Experienced Submissive by: lunaKM (2)
  Novice submissives all over try to find a Dominant to be with. I've talked with so many that value experience in their Dominant choices but what of novice…
- What To Do In a Bad Break-up Situation by: lunaKM (6)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 8-6-11 Rarely have I heard of an end of a relationship being good, civil yes, but good? Yet I have heard on numerous…
- What to Do When Your Dominant is Not Emotionally Available by: Twist (14)
  I surrendered to my own submission.
- What Type of Relationship Are You In [Poll Results] by: lunaKM
  Last month I had a poll on the right side about the types of relationships you are engaged in. I'm happy to see such a variety of relationship dynamics…
- When He Removes The Collar: The 3 R's to Get You Back on Your Feet by: lunaKM (2)
  In the fall of 2006 my relationship with KnyghtMare was on the rocks. I was battling with submission and what it meant for my life with him. He was changing…
- When Mommy/slave is Ill... by: malak Briar-rose (4)
  Let's face it. Not everyone out there is graced with excellent health, some of us are even chronically ill. Myself, I face being on dialysis along with Lupus…
- When Top Drop Rules Your Relationship by: Guest Author (8)
  This is a guest post by tlbsab. You can find her here on the SubGuide Club. Have you ever had everything you wanted only to have it crash around you because…
- When Worlds Collide by: mrsK (13)
  Okay, so our worlds didn’t really collide, they just tapped each other a little bit. This is what happened: Mr. K, my Master, and I went out to lunch a few…
- When Your Dominant Plays With Others by: lunaKM (5)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 5/14/11 Disclaimer: This essay is not about when you encounter or find out your Dominant is cheating, but rather an…
- Who Has the Greatest Responsibility in a D/s Relationship? by: lunaKM (1)
  In my first few months of submission I was asked about my ideal relationship by a Dominant friend of mine. It's something that I still ask novice submissives…
- You Tattooed What on Your Ass? - Rational Thinking about Relationship Tattoos by: bgtreasure (3)
  Lets start off with me telling you that I do have tattoos. I have one on my ankle that I haven't looked at in a while and hope has faded (the name of a once…
Category: Research Pages (6)
Education is everything. Here are the collection of pages that I find the information I use to learn and grow in my own submission and research for topics on…
- Research Page: Collaring and Ceremonies by: lunaKM
  Just like the other research pages, this is my collection of links that I've put together as I read and researched a topic. Today's topic is collaring and…
- Research Page: Electrical Play by: lunaKM (2)
  I’ve scoured the internet for some of the more complete resources to do with a variety of topics. Today’s topic is Electrical play. In this form of…
- Research Page: Gorean Lifestyle by: lunaKM (9)
  I'm constantly exploring the internet and online libraries for information. Today I found a wealth of knowledge about Gorean Lifestyle. I personally can't…
- Research Page: Male Submission by: lunaKM (2)
  Today I'm bringing together the resources I've collected about male submission and Female-led relationships. Much of what I found was porn, so it is needless…
- Research Page: Sub Drop by: lunaKM (1)
  The multitude of essays and articles and blog posts I go through when I'm researching a topic rarely get shared with all of you, but no more. I'm opening up my…
- Research Page: Subspace by: lunaKM
  I collect a lot of resources in the way of links when I'm looking for information to write articles on. My research pages are a dumping ground of sorts of all…
Category: Reviews (31)
I like to give a thumbs up or down on some of the books and other media available for you. Here’s where I keep a collection of those reviews.
- Book Review: Living M/s by: lunaKM (5)
  It's been awhile since I've reviewed a book here on Submissive Guide and this one has come recommended from readers. You want to know if this one is worth…
- Review: Ambrosio's BDSM Site by: lunaKM
  One of the very first BDSM related websites I encountered when I was learning about it myself is still in existence and has barely changed. It has gotten…
- Review: Carrie's Story by: lunaKM
  Carrie's Story: An Erotic S/M Novel by Molly Weatherfield is my second review of a fiction book here on Submissive Guide. Sometimes the seriousness on this…
- Review: Conquer Me by: lunaKM (9)
  First I have to thank Ms Kayla of Kinky World for giving me a list of possible books to review when I called for them in November. She had some excellent…
- Review: Consensual Sadomasochism by: lunaKM
  This month's review is on a reference book called Consensual Sadomasochism : How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely (kindle edition) by William Henkin…
- Review: Different Loving by: lunaKM (2)
  Today's BDSM lifestyle practicioners thrive on real experiences to help them learn and grow within thier own personal choices. Many books written for the…
- Review: Domestic Discipline by: lunaKM (2)
  This month's book review is about a different form of relationship structure than the traditional D/s that you read about on practically every site and book…
- Review: Erotic Slavehood by: lunaKM (2)
  One of the cornerstone books recommended for submissives and Dominants alike has always been Erotic Slavehood by Christina Abernathy. Once two individual…
- Review: Erotic Surrender - The Sensual Joys of Female Submission by: lunaKM (4)
  I usually enjoy reading books designed for submissives, and novice submissives specifically, because they have so much to provide for learning and personal…
- Review: Exhibitionism for the Shy: Show Off, Dress Up and Talk Hot! by: lunaKM (3)
  When I asked for suggestions on books to review for Submissive Guide, this was one of the first ones mentioned and I'm so glad that it was! Exhibitionism for…
- Review: How to Be Kinky by: lunaKM
  Looking for a fun and interesting introduction to BDSM? Try How to Be Kinky by Morpheous. This one is better than others I've read in the simple fact that it…
- Review: How To Get the Spanking You Want by: lunaKM (1)
  My first ebook up for review is "How To Get The Spanking You Want: The Complete Guide to Asking For it, Getting it, and Making it Better" by Vivian of The…
- Review: Partners in Power by: lunaKM
  After a somewhat poor experience on one of Jack Rinella's books earlier last year I was slow to give him another chance, but through urgings of readers I…
- Review: Protocols – Handbook For the Female Slave by: lunaKM (1)
  I've reviewed protocol based books here before but this one is far more unique than those read previously. Protocols isn't just a book about protocols, it's a…
- Review: Protocols: a Variety of Views by: lunaKM
  If you are looking for a varied account of protocol then this book is perfect! Part of Power Exchange Books' Resource Series Protocols: a Variety of Views is a…
- Review: Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by: lunaKM (2)
  If you've been around the BDSM and D/s scene at all there is one of many books that always comes up in conversation as a good book to read when you are new to…
- Review: SlaveCraft by: lunaKM (2)
  Traveling further into your submission is something that most of us strive for. We want to seek the inner wisdom that will make us the best submissives or…
- Review: SM 101 by: lunaKM (1)
  One of the most comprehensive books on BDSM activities has to be SM101 by Jay Wiseman. It's not your usual general BDSM reader, but a detailed safe play primer…
- Review: TakeninHand.com by: lunaKM (4)
  Website reviews are going to be a little different than the book reviews just because the media and content is presented differently. The first website that…
- Review: The Art of Slavery by: lunaKM
  Shortly after my review of Protocols: Handbook for the female slave I was contacted by the author and asked if I would like to review any of his other books. I…
- Review: The Bride Wore Black Leather by: lunaKM
  This month's review is an etiquette book like no other. When I bought this book I wasn't sure it would have any more information that Miss Manners or Emily…
- Review: The Compleat Slave by: lunaKM (2)
  Being that I'm a reader of Jack Rinella via his weekly column that he sent out via a mailing list and I enjoy his essays on his website I was looking forward…
- Review: The Control Book by: lunaKM (2)
  The Control Book by Peter Masters is a book written for Dominants who are interested in learning more about control and how that works with a control-sensitive…
- Review: The Kinky Girl's Guide to Dating by: lunaKM
  Adventures in the dating sphere should come with a manual; especially if you are kinky. The Kinky Girl's Guide to Dating by Luna Grey is a perfect compliment…
- Review: The Marketplace by: lunaKM (6)
  My first fiction review on Submissive Guide is the first book in a wonderful series that I'd highly recommend for any submissive desiring entertainment. Laura…
- Review: The New Bottoming Book by: lunaKM
  This month's book review is of one of the books I gave away in the July Book Contest. The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy (formerly Lady…
- Review: The Submissive Activity Book by: lunaKM
  In January I had a poll in the sidebar asking readers like you what books you'd like to see me review for Submissive Guide. The overwhelming response was that…
- Review: The Surrendered Wife by: lunaKM (3)
  This month I dived into a book full of controversy with its approach to living intimately with your husband (or partner). I read The Surrendered Wife by Laura…
- Review: Tickle My Tush: Mild-to-Wild Analplay Adventures for Everybooty by: lunaKM
  I talk about all sorts of things on this blog, sex being one of them that needs more coverage I think - I am also all about sharing new books with you. But…
- Reviews Expanding to Include Websites by: lunaKM (1)
  I've been doing book reviews for Submissive Guide for almost 3 years now and they have been a wonderful resource and I've learned so very much. I don't plan to…
- What Do Others Have to Say About SubGuide Reviewed Books (2009)? by: lunaKM
  Instead of a new book review this month I’d like to help those of you who are on the fence about certain books that I’ve reviewed get more information…
Category: Rituals and Routines (13)
Rituals are specialized ways of doing things whereas a routine is a regular set pattern of behaviors. Pick up a few ideas of ritual and routine for your own…
- 10 Helpful Websites for the Busy Submissive by: lunaKM (7)
  Sometimes you just need that extra bit of help out of your day or want to have all the tips and tricks on a certain activity. Well I have pulled together some…
- 5 Ways to Express Your Gratitude to Your Dominant by: lunaKM (2)
  With Thanksgiving (USA) just around the corner I thought it would be fitting to write about gratitude, and how to express your gratitude to the one you serve.…
- An Introduction to Body Service by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 11-5-11 One of the more intimate ways that we submissives can serve our Dominants is by learning and performing…
- High Tea, Japanese Tea Ceremony and Formal Dining by: lunaKM (1)
  Throughout history people have been creating specialized rituals for different events in their lives from birth to coming of age, marriage and even death. Some…
- Leaving Work at the Door: How to Find the Mindset Once You Are Both Home by: lunaKM (3)
  My first question for March Question Month is about making the mental switch from work to home life. I know from experience that this is a very difficult time…
- Morning Rituals by: lunaKM (5)
  From Submissive Journal Prompts Do you have a morning ritual? Morning rituals are fantastic ways of setting routine and developing a focusing meditation…
- Regaining Submissive Mind-Space Through Ritual by: nan {SL} (10)
  Many submissives have jobs where they are managers, business owners, or in charge in some way or another. Sometimes it can be difficult to re-enter your…
- Rituals that Work from Those that Practice Them by: lunaKM (1)
  The most frequent question I get asked is what is about rituals; what are they, how do I start one, are they hard, do they help with your submission, etc. They…
- The Importance of Rules by: lunaKM (9)
  Rules, instructions and assignments are things that are given to me by my Dominant for very important reasons. To follow them should bring me the pride and…
- Two Weeks to Better Submissive Positions by: lunaKM (1)
  Submissive Positions are talked about all over like everyone is supposed to be doing them or something. Not every relationship is set up to provide that level…
- Using Contracts to Negotiate a Relationship by: lunaKM (1)
  When you get married, you have to legally sign a document attesting to your decision to be married. The legal document can come in many forms but most have a…
- What are Dress Protocols? by: lunaKM (16)
  I had a question sent to me via YouTube asking me about for information about dress protocols. I can only tell you what I am familiar with, so be aware that…
- When Protocol Becomes Boring by: lunaKM (5)
  Protocol. It can be a scary word if you are new to submission. In a relationship, it is likely that you will have some protocol established to control your…
Category: Roundtable Discussions (9)
Reader supported questions. This has been discontinued due to lack of interest.
- Readers' View on Polyamory by: lunaKM (5)
  A couple weeks ago I held a Roundtable discussion on Polyamory. You had a lot to say about it. I also had a guest post on polyamory, written by May. Comin…
- The Roundtable: Body Modification by: lunaKM (8)
  Gather around the table everyone, I’d like to learn about something I don’t know a lot about. I welcome you to add your thoughts and comments to this post…
- The Roundtable: Chastity by: lunaKM (3)
  Gather around the table everyone, I’d like to learn about something I don’t know a lot about. I welcome you to add your thoughts and comments to this post…
- The Roundtable: D/s with Kids At Home by: lunaKM (4)
  Every so often I want to open up the blog for you to share and teach me on a topic that I don’t know a lot about. This is your chance to teach me and the…
- The Roundtable: Gorean Lifestyle by: lunaKM (4)
  Gather around the table everyone, I'd like to learn about something I don't know a lot about. I welcome you to add your thoughts and comments to this post and…
- The Roundtable: Money Handling by: lunaKM (7)
  Gather around the table everyone, I’d like to learn about something I don’t know a lot about. I welcome you to add your thoughts and comments to this post…
- The Roundtable: Open Marriages by: lunaKM (1)
  Every so often I want to open up the blog for you to share and teach me on a topic that I don’t know a lot about. This is your chance to teach me and the…
- The Roundtable: Polyamory by: lunaKM (8)
  Every so often I want to open up the blog for you to share and teach me on a topic that I don't know a lot about. This is your chance to teach me and the other…
- The Roundtable: The Secrets to a Smooth Bikini Shave by: lunaKM (31)
  As I've done a few times already, I like to open this blog for readers to submit tips and opinions on a topic that I don't know a lot about. This is your…
Category: Safety (29)
Warnings and protection of your personal safety.
- 10 Red Flags of Bad or Abusive Dominants by: lunaKM (4)
  Predators and abusive Dominants are everywhere. I've seen them and been subjected to them in a casual relationship. Thankfully I escaped into a kind and loving…
- 4 Things to Look for in a Mentor by: lunaKM (5)
  There are mentors in every area of life and situation. In BDSM it is sometimes recommended to newbies to pick up a mentor, but are never given the tools to…
- 5 Things to Give Your Safe Call Person by: lunaKM (3)
  When you've decided to venture out on a blind date with a prospective Dominant you'll likely want to set up a safe call. A safe call is someone that is aware…
- A Safer Kinky Sex How-To by: lunaKM
  Many of the BDSM activities we may engage in are inherently sexual in nature, even if no sex actually occurs. Being aware and using safe sex barriers when…
- A Single Submissive Packs a Toybag by: lunaKM (2)
  If you intend to venture into play on a casual level or at play parties and clubs as a single submissive you need to arrive prepared for play. This includes…
- Assent Matters by: Guest Author (8)
  This is a guest post by SherynB. Please take the time to read the whole thing. It's an important issue that needs to be addressed. Okay, there's a 600lb…
- Assualt is NOT okay by: lunaKM (5)
  This week's video post is about an issue that needs more awareness. I had someone ask me for some advice through my email the other day and it went…
- Can I Be Abused in a BDSM Relationship? by: lunaKM
  This week's video post is about BDSM vs. Abuse. A BDSM relationship, especially one with sadomasochistic moments, is subject to questions all the time…
- Deceptive Submissive - The Flip Side of the Predator Dominant by: Guest Author (4)
  This is a guest post by Camryn Darkstone. Virtual worlds have opened a door to BDSM for many people, allowing them to explore their curiosity about it in a…
- Entering Subspace Do's and Don'ts by: lunaKM (2)
  When your body overloads on adrenaline or endorphins you can reach a high that many call subspace. It doesn't happen to everyone, nor does it happen every…
- Facing Sudden Illness During Play/Scene Time by: lunaKM (3)
  We never want our scene time to end. It's fun and pleasant and lovely. When we play we have a chance that the blissful time we are experiencing will end well…
- First Aid for Bruises, Abrasions and Other After Play Marks by: lunaKM (4)
  When Master and I play, it's very likely that there will be marks, at least temporarily. Caring for them is part of the aftercare we have set up for me. We…
- First Meetings Done Safely by: lunaKM (3)
  This week's video post is on First Meetings Safety. When you are ready to meet your dream Dominant for the first time, what goes through your mind? Do…
- Hard and Soft Limits by: nan {SL} (3)
  What are limits? As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this…
- Identifying Fake Dominants and Posers by: lunaKM (18)
  This week's video tip is on Red Flags of Fake Dominants. The question I was asked today is, "How do you identify fake Dominants and what are some red…
- Online Encounters and the Danger of Blind Faith by: lunaKM (2)
  As a novice submissive in this technology age you typically explore submission online in chat room and in instant messaging. There is nothing wrong with this…
- RACK: An Alternative to SSC by: lunaKM
  In a previous post I talked about Safe, Sane and Consensual or SSC, a safety mantra that quite a bit of the BDSM community has picked up as a way to explain…
- Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 1 by: nan {SL} (4)
  Part 1: Information Please! If you’re a new submissive this lifestyle may seem overwhelming at first. A submissive I know terms it ‘the new submissive…
- Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of a Predator Dom/me Part 2 by: nan {SL} (3)
  Did you miss part 1? You can read it here. In Part 1, we looked at the information that you should try to gather when starting to interact with an unknown…
- Showing Face by: thisgirl (8)
  How many of you post pictures on the Internet of your BDSM? On maybe FetLife, Flickr, or your own blog? It has been something I have done from the very…
- Submitting Is Not Without Responsibility by: lunaKM (6)
  This post was going to be a video post but since I'm working off of my little netbook for the time being (my laptop died) I was unable to create the video. I…
- The 6 Most Common STDs by: lunaKM
  Everytime we talk about sex and sexually related activities such as many of the BDSM and kinky play we do it's important, if not imperative, that we are safe
- The Impact of Pregnancy on Service and Play by: malak Briar-rose (1)
  Because of the content of this post I feel I must begin with a disclaimer: This is NOT meant to be medical advice or anything even related to it. This is an…
- The Safety Disguise of Safewords by: lunaKM (5)
  I've always believed that safewords are only good if you know how to use them. Good ole communication is great for things like numb limbs, an itch you can't…
- Use Your Safeword Without Guilt by: lunaKM (3)
  I've talked about safewords here before. I believe they are very important for new relationships and when new activities are being introduced. A stop word is…
- Well, what're ya gonna do when he wants to chop your finger off? by: Rayne (8)
  I said before I'm a "no limits" slave. Bring on the barrage of "What if your master wanted to cut your arm off?" type questions. There are few scenarios…
- What NOT to Share on Your Online Profile by: lunaKM (5)
  This video post is about what not to share on your online profile. We all have one somewhere. FetLife being all the rage right now, but also we have…
- When Does Punishment Go Too Far? by: lunaKM (1)
  This video post answers a question I got recently about the line between punishment and abuse. A year ago I did a post about BDSM and abuse and in it…
- Why Safety is Preached to Novices and Why It's Important to Know Anyway by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 3/3/10 Being in the BDSM community for any length of time you are likely to come across the common sermons of SSC,…
Category: Service (116)
Everything we do is service, learn what gives you the heart to serve and what you can do with your talents.
- 8 Reasons Why Your Dominant Takes Care of You When You Are Sick by: lunaKM (6)
  ...and why you should stop fussing about it. I've been reminded again today as I lay about sick with a snazzy summer flu that instead of feeling like a…
- Ask For What You Want by: lunaKM (10)
  As a novice submissive, I believed that asking for anything was not appropriate for a submissive. I rarely requested a favorite restaurant, something at the…
- Basic Manners and Etiquette by: lunaKM (2)
  Do you think you have a good grasp of good manners and etiquette? We all know someone as an adult that has horrible manners and no etiquette. Learning basic…
- Cooking for Master by: nan {SL} (4)
  I think it was at least 3 years into my relationship with my Master before I had to cook for Him. I was terrified at the thought. When I visit Master, He…
- DIY Toy Instructions Online by: lunaKM
  I’m crafty. I learned how to make BDSM gear almost within months of my entrance to the lifestyle. I love how easy some of these are. I always get compliments…
- Finding Your Spirituality In Service by: lunaKM (7)
  A recent journal prompt I came across really inspired me to write about it. It is spirituality. A lot of what I hear about spirituality is related to…
- Handling an Addiction While in Service by: lunaKM (12)
  Those of you who read my blog already know this, but for most of you this will be news. I have an addiction. At the end of last month I came to the realization…
- Have a Community Spirit You Can Be Proud Of by: Guest Author
  This is a guest post by Laney. Well, you did it. You finally took the steps necessary-you found a munch, made friends, joined a dungeon and it happened.…
- Helping Your Owner with Deadlines by: lunaKM
  The third question I received for March Question Month is: my owner frequently forgets his own deadlines, rules, etc, be them for me or for his own things.…
- How to Give a Romantic Bath by: lunaKM (2)
  Romance gets lost in the rush of work, family, kids and obligations but a romantic bath is not only relaxing, it can create intimacy between you and your…
- How To Start Your Submissive Journal by: lunaKM (2)
  A very common first request of a potential Dominant, either online or offline is to have you start a submissive journal. If you've never kept a diary then this…
- Learn a New Skill to Enhance Your Service with Free Online Courses by: lunaKM
  There are many ways that submissives can learn new skills and training that will enhance what you can provide your Dominant. Just imagine being able to speak…
- Out of the Office and Into the Home: Making the change from working to stay-at-home submissive by: lunaKM (3)
  Last February was a difficult month for me. Like many in this failing economy I found myself without a job. I was stressed and frustrated and knew that it…
- Personal Grooming of your Master or Mistress by: SehAnru (4)
  A part of Domestic service which is very intimate is personal grooming. If you are allowed to groom your Master or Mistress or want to learn how, here are some…
- Preach What You Practice by: lunaKM (2)
  Not long ago I had someone ask me privately why I feel the need to help submissives with this website, and what qualifications I have to tell people how to…
- Regaining Submissive Mind-Space Through Ritual by: nan {SL} (10)
  Many submissives have jobs where they are managers, business owners, or in charge in some way or another. Sometimes it can be difficult to re-enter your…
- Rituals that Work from Those that Practice Them by: lunaKM (1)
  The most frequent question I get asked is what is about rituals; what are they, how do I start one, are they hard, do they help with your submission, etc. They…
- Service With Grace by: lunaKM (1)
  If you've been following Submissive Guide on twitter for any length of time you will notice an interesting blog that I have updates sent to twitter. This blog…
- Simply Service Showcase - March 2005 Edition by: lunaKM
  With the wealth of information I write (and my new contributors write) it's amazing to me to know that some of you haven't taken a look at what else I have…
- SkylerPet’s Helpful Holiday Hints by: Guest Author
  This post is another guest post by Skylerpet. You can read her other posts here. She's wants to help us all get through the holidays with less stress. Here's…
- Some Gems of Simply Service by: lunaKM
  From Submissive Guide Newsletter 8/21/10 Part of my goals with Submissive Guide is to provide resources that can help you in all walks of your submissive…
- Some Thoughts on Domestic Service by: Guest Author (3)
  This is a guest post by fuzzyP, a male submissive in a relationship with his Goddess and a regular participant of the Submissive Guide chatroom. When luna…
- Structure with Rules by: lunaKM (2)
  I'm a submissive that needs structure. Submissives all around will identify with either discipline, obedience, structure or rules or perhaps more than one.…
- Submissive Speech Series Wrap Up by: lunaKM
  All this month we have showcased a more humble, submissive way to verbally present yourself to your Dominant and in public. This concludes the series with a…
- The Best Resources for a Service Library by: lunaKM (2)
  For the service submissive, one who gets their pleasure from serving in some capacity it's nice to have a section of your library reserved for books that can…
- The Bunny Dip by: nan {SL} (1)
  How can you avoid 'spillage' when serving a drink in your sexiest fet wear? Try 'the bunny dip'!
- The Impact of Pregnancy on Service and Play by: malak Briar-rose (1)
  Because of the content of this post I feel I must begin with a disclaimer: This is NOT meant to be medical advice or anything even related to it. This is an…
- The Meaning Behind Service and Serving by: lunaKM
  When someone becomes a submissive for the first time and finds a dominant the first words I generally hear them say is that they like being of service or they…
- The Return of the Simply Service Newsletter by: lunaKM
  If you've had any time to browse through this site you will know that I keep an archive of Simply Service Newsletters that are a treasure of wonderful reading.…
- What is Devotional Service? by: lunaKM (5)
  To complete the series on types of service, today I'm going to cover devotional service. If you'd like a refresher on the other types of service please see the…
- What is Positional Service? by: lunaKM
  Continuing my four-part series on types of submission today will be about positional service. As a reminder, the forms of submission are: Transactional De…
- What is Situational Service? by: lunaKM (2)
  This is a continuation of the series on the most common forms of service in a D/s relationship. The forms are: Transactional Devotional Positional Sit…
- What Is Slave Training? by: lunaKM (11)
  In this week's video tip I talk about what training is to a submissive and the value it has to a D/s relationship. When someone thinks of slave training,…
- What is Transactional Service? by: lunaKM (3)
  Service can mean different things to different people. Just as submission is different depending on the person and dynamic, so is the type of service that…
- What Should You Do When Your Wants or Needs Aren't Met? by: lunaKM
  To conclude this series on wants and needs I'd like to talk about what to do when you needs and wants are not being met. We've already discussed how…
- Why the Word 'Training' Confuses Novices by: lunaKM (1)
  The word 'training' is a stumbling block for many novices and experienced submissives alike. The reason for this is that so many define training as the…
Category: Sex and Sexuality (14)
Sex is more than insert tab A into slot B. It involves knowing yourself and then knowing how to pleasure the one you serve.
- 5 Ways to Bring Out Your Dominance In Bed by: lunaKM
  This may seem like a really odd topic to be posting in a submissive blog, but there is reason. I've had a question recently from a submissive woman who has…
- A Safer Kinky Sex How-To by: lunaKM
  Many of the BDSM activities we may engage in are inherently sexual in nature, even if no sex actually occurs. Being aware and using safe sex barriers when…
- Anal Play: Beginner to Stretch in No Time by: Rayne (8)
  I never used to like anal sex. I wouldn't let anyone near that part of my body. There were all sorts of worries and thoughts running through my mind every…
- Can You Separate BDSM and Sex? by: lunaKM (4)
  When Master and I get to play, it's quite sexually charged. We find the play and the energy we swap as very sexual. Our play time usually ends in sex of some…
- How to Beg When Asked by: lunaKM (23)
  Begging is an art form for submissives. Each of us has our own talent or lack thereof in this area. For some it is part of humiliation, or just every day…
- How to Talk Dirty by: lunaKM (3)
  My first experience with anything sex was through porn. The girls of porn taught me how sex might be for me. And so when it came time to have sex for the very…
- Learning to Ask for an Orgasm by: lunaKM (6)
  In D/s sexuality one of the more common rules is that the Dominant controls the orgasms and sexual release of the submissive. Some require that the submissive…
- Masturbation: When It Becomes Not So Private Anymore by: bgtreasure (4)
  Introducing a new contributor here at Submissive Guide: BGtreasure! The views in this article are mine and mine alone unless otherwise stated. So lets…
- Self Love in a D/s Relationship by: lunaKM (6)
  Before I entered a D/s relationship masturbation was a regular recreational activity for me. It was also private. Even when I was married I didn't masturbate…
- The 6 Most Common STDs by: lunaKM
  Everytime we talk about sex and sexually related activities such as many of the BDSM and kinky play we do it's important, if not imperative, that we are safe
- The Female of the Species by: thisgirl (8)
  I am bi-sexual, and I have been ever since I can remember. When I was young I obviously didn't know the way I felt were the first signs of bi-curiosity…
- The Myth of a Slut by: Guest Author (7)
  This is a guest post by Slut M as a response to SubWise #6 about BDSM Myths. According to the mythological story, a slut is a downtrodden woman who by…
- The Roundtable: Polyamory by: lunaKM (8)
  Every so often I want to open up the blog for you to share and teach me on a topic that I don't know a lot about. This is your chance to teach me and the other…
- What Is Polyamory Anyway? by: lunaKM (1)
  Today's post comes from May (follow her @readheadgirl) a writer and artist. For the longest time when I heard “polyamory,” I thought of hippies in the…
Category: Social Norms (38)
Do we go with the flow or against the grain? Learning what society expects and what the D/s community can provide as far as new rules and belief systems.
- What's In a Name? by: thisgirl (11)
  Over the years I have had quite a few online names and aliases. Some have stayed with me, some haven't. Some should never have existed in the first place…
- A Feminist Submissive? by: nan {SL} (4)
  In the first article of this series, I discussed how I see feminism fitting in with both the BDSM community and submission. Moving to a personal level, I…
- A Reflection of Your Dominant by: lunaKM (1)
  You are a Reflection of Your Dominant - Or Are You? I've heard this numerous times and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Kind, good-intentioned people say that…
- Adult Children of Alcoholics and Submission by: SehAnru (6)
  Being one myself, I have done a lot of research over the years on the affects of this as well as Co-Dependency which is part of what develops most commonly in…
- Altered Submissive Speech - Thoughts and Ideas by: lunaKM (3)
  I was once an online submissive. I know a bit about the language and grammar rules that reside there. They are creative and interesting and serve their purpose…
- Assent Matters by: Guest Author (8)
  This is a guest post by SherynB. Please take the time to read the whole thing. It's an important issue that needs to be addressed. Okay, there's a 600lb…
- Attending a Munch by: nan {SL} (9)
  “Go to a munch!” That’s advice that you will often hear when you start exploring the BDSM lifestyle. But what is a munch? What can you expect from the…
- Being About It: Honor and Integrity by: Charmed Blyss (1)
  I had originally planned to write about a different topic, was well on my way in developing the article, then I realized at some point that I kept coming back…
- Challenging Stereotypes and Struggling to Fit In by: lunaKM
  There are now over 400 articles on Submissive Guide and it can be hard to know where to start. This is a short list of posts I feel discuss conflicts with…
- Discretion in the BDSM Community - Anonymity and Personal Privacy Concerns by: lunaKM
  I was asked in email a while ago about how safe BDSM groups are for people in high profile careers and the risk of being exposed. It's a valid concern for…
- False Submission by: lunaKM (8)
  I know that if you spend any amount of time online in kink related social networks or chat rooms you will encounter the following person a time or two. This…
- Getting to Know the Local and Not so Local Community by: lunaKM (2)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 4/10/10 One of the most feared activities of a novice is getting up the nerve to meet other people face to face. Yet…
- Going to the Doctor with Kink-Related Marks or Bruises by: lunaKM (8)
  It's happened to the best of us. You and your partner got a little frisky the other day and now you have a few bruises that haven't faded yet. Your Doctor's…
- I Found a Munch, Now What? by: nan {SL}
  This is a continuing discussion about Munches. If you'd like to read the first post, Attending a Munch now. Once you find a munch in your area, you may want…
- Is BDSM the Nerds and Geeks Club? by: lunaKM (14)
  I was listening to Mistress Matisse's Guest Appearance the other day on the Savage Lovecast (Ep 163). She talks about a lot of kinky topics that callers ask…
- Is Submission in Opposition to Feminism? by: lunaKM (11)
  Recently there has been a lot of talk about Feminism and it's role in society where it's related (or not related) to submission in a D/s context. I read kaya's…
- Kink and Mental Health: Real Emotion v. Mental Illness by: Rayne (4)
  This is the second installment in my Kink and Mental Health series. For a little background on my experience with mental health issues, please read the…
- Kink and Mental Health: The Background by: Rayne (14)
  There's a lot of debate, in our kinky little corner of the worldwide web, about kinky people who have mental health issues. What kinds of problems they…
- Kink and Mental Health: The Ethics and Legality of Consent by: Rayne (3)
  I've been putting this subject off, and I'm still sort of waffling on moving on to something else, but that's mostly because, I'm not a legal professional,…
- Know Your Manners when Visiting D/s Friends by: lunaKM (1)
  Accepting an invitation to visit friends that are into BDSM or the lifestyle can lead to a wonderful experience and the development of close friends. That is…
- Living with Kids While in the D/s Lifestyle by: Guest Author
  This is a guest post by Christian. He is a switch male of the D/s lifestyle for the past 14 years. For my first post here I am going to write about…
- Season’s Beatings: Holidays Around Your Family by: lunaKM (2)
  From Submissive Guide Newsletter 11/21/09 Every time we have to face our family as a kink couple, Master and I have had to tone it down and disguise how we…
- Should There Be Clear Definitions to Label Yourself In This Lifestyle? by: lunaKM (11)
  So, you've met submissives and slaves online, their Dominant and Master counterparts but as you get to know them and how they interact you start to see the…
- Stereotyping Submission as Feminine by: lunaKM (3)
  I read in an online forum recently about the stigma that a Master or Dom should be manly or masculine. So many replied that they agreed and had found a…
- Super-Ego And The Good Girl by: Sephani Paige (7)
  How many times have you heard a submissive say how he/she loves to be told they are a "good girl/boy" by their dominant? Yet how many times have any of them…
- Table Manners by: LaneyDoll (2)
  Table Manners-from the things no one should have to say, to the things that you may not have even known. There are many times that we will share a meal with…
- Talking About BDSM to Vanilla Folk: What to Say and What to Avoid by: lunaKM
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 4/16/11 Every semester I present a BDSM panel at my alma mater for the Human Sexuality class. I've been doing it for…
- The Popularity of BDSM by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 2/6/10 (Caveat: I am not an expert historian of BDSM. What I have learned I picked up along the way. I can't say with…
- The Roundtable: D/s with Kids At Home by: lunaKM (4)
  Every so often I want to open up the blog for you to share and teach me on a topic that I don’t know a lot about. This is your chance to teach me and the…
- The Roundtable: Polyamory by: lunaKM (8)
  Every so often I want to open up the blog for you to share and teach me on a topic that I don't know a lot about. This is your chance to teach me and the other…
- Theories of Feminism and Submission by: nan {SL} (6)
  I have spent much time pondering the seemingly conflicting views of feminism and submission. In the first part of my article, I would like to discuss feminism…
- To Hug or Not To Hug by: LaneyDoll (1)
  Hi, my name is Laney and I am a hug slut. I admit it, I love a good hug. As such, imagine how hard it was for me, entering the world of BDSM where a hug in…
- What FetLife Has Done by: lunaKM (26)
  UPDATE: New Post - How to Use FetLife From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 5/8/10 Just under 3 years ago the BDSM community was a very differnet place.…
- What I Think about Underage Experimentation and Submission by: lunaKM (11)
  Another question from March Question Month comes from Coco: I am curious about what your thoughts on those who admit to participating underage is? I have…
- Your Kink is Not My Kink and That's Okay by: lunaKM (5)
  Everyday I'm exposed to or learn about another kink or fetish that I was not aware of. It's a wonderful and fascinating experience that continues to expand my…
Category: Spirituality (3)
It’s not just about organized religion. Our spirituality is our connection to a greater world in whatever we believe in. At it’s core is a…
- A Great Example of a Slave's Rosary by: lunaKM (15)
  On FetLife quite awhile back now, a slave posted her version of a rosary with her Master as the focus. As with any rosary or prayer beads, it is used in…
- Finding Your Spirituality In Service by: lunaKM (7)
  A recent journal prompt I came across really inspired me to write about it. It is spirituality. A lot of what I hear about spirituality is related to…
- You Are Not Going To Hell by: lunaKM (16)
  To be honest I never gave faith much thought when I discovered I was kinky. I had been drifting away from organized religion for years, but when I read on…
Category: Sponsors (5)
- Bedside Table Overflowing with Toys? Get a New Toy Box from For Your Nymphomation! by: lunaKM
  This post features Submissive Guide affiliates, meaning that if you buy something featured, you’ll be financially supporting this site’s mission of…
- Intense Orgasms Need Extreme Toys from Extreme Restraints by: lunaKM (1)
  This post features Submissive Guide affiliates, meaning that if you buy something featured, you'll be financially supporting this site's mission of bringing…
- Like FetLife But Want a Personals Atmosphere? Introducing iTaboo.com! by: lunaKM
  I was introduced to iTaboo not that long ago by the owner of the site. He knows that he is in direct competition with FetLife and yet, he's not. His site is…
- Look for the Best Deals When You Do Your Kinky Shopping on Amazon.com by: lunaKM (1)
  I know what you are thinking. Who would even consider buying BDSM gear from Amazon.com? What about quality? Can I really get my kink supplies from the world's…
- Save Big for a Limited Time at The Dog Days of Summer Sale at Stockroom.com! by: lunaKM
  As the mercury rises this summer, the hottest place to be is the Dog Days of Summer Sale at Stockroom.com! Get good and sweaty with some fun in the Sun,…
Category: Submission (189)
Help define who you are and your submissive goals
- ...And Along Came Baby: Parenting and Submission by: malak Briar-rose (12)
  As a parent of 2 children and the active property of my Owner and Husband, I thought perhaps it was time to begin writing some about the trials and tribulations…
- 10 Ways to Overcome Selfishness by: lunaKM
  Some level of selfishness is healthy, how else can you get what you want and need to remain happy if you don't get what you want occasionally? There are right…
- 24/7 Slavery by: Guest Author (5)
  This post is written by Rick's Fucktoy. It was first posted on Sensual Service, which I closed when I opened Submissive Guide. 24/7. All day, every day. Is…
- 36 BDSM and D/s Blogs You Should Check Out by: lunaKM (5)
  Now that I’ve been busy with my own blog I thought it was time to showcase some of the blogs that I’ve come across and either read or know about. I…
- 4 Things to Look for in a Mentor by: lunaKM (5)
  There are mentors in every area of life and situation. In BDSM it is sometimes recommended to newbies to pick up a mentor, but are never given the tools to…
- 7 Things You Can Do Today to Impove Your Submission by: lunaKM (15)
  A question I see asked all the time is "how can I be a better submissive?" Here are a few things you can do to make your submission and service better without…
- A Collar by Any Other Name... by: Rayne (8)
  This month is March Question Month, and Trinity asked: Does one know how to obtain collars that do not look like collars..so one can be worn at all time with…
- A Day in the Life: Autumn Raine Skye by: Guest Author
  This is a guest post by Autumn Raine Skye for the Day in the Life Series. I'm a submissive, and I also consider myself a slave. My Master, who is also my…
- A Day in the Life: bonimiss by: Guest Author (1)
  This is a post by bonimiss for the Day in the Life Series. I saw luna’s request for a day in the life and was immediately interested but then I hesitated.…
- A Day in the Life: DarlingDoll by: Guest Author (1)
  This is part of the A Day in the Life Series. Thanks DarlingDoll! I am a brat. I am a mouthy loud-mouthed impatient bent kinky little brat who has gone…
- A Day in the Life: lunaKM by: lunaKM (1)
  So the series is going quite well and I thought that it was time to share with you what an average day in service to KnyghtMare is like for me. I've had many…
- A Day in the Life: nan{SL} by: nan {SL}
  My Master moved to my farm in September. Before that, my typical day was going to work, playing with my dog, and texting and emailing my Master all the day…
- A Day in the Life: Pam by: Guest Author
  This is a guest post by Pam for the Day in the Life Series. As a new submissive, I am constantly seeking out new information. Scouring the internet has…
- A Day in the Life: Tlbsab by: Guest Author
  This is a guest post for the Day in a Life Series. Thank you Tlbsab! First let me say that this article is in no way meant to offend anyone and is meant for…
- A Feminist Submissive? by: nan {SL} (4)
  In the first article of this series, I discussed how I see feminism fitting in with both the BDSM community and submission. Moving to a personal level, I…
- A Great Example of a Slave's Rosary by: lunaKM (15)
  On FetLife quite awhile back now, a slave posted her version of a rosary with her Master as the focus. As with any rosary or prayer beads, it is used in…
- A Mentor is Not Your Dom by: lunaKM (7)
  from Submissive Guide Newsletter 11-6-10 When someone says they have a mentor and that they are learning so much from them I'm happy for them. That is until…
- A Switch of the D/s Lifestyle by: Guest Author (1)
  This is another guest post by Christian, a switch male in a D/s relationship. (If you would like to submit a guest post to Submissive Guide, please read…
- Accepting 24/7 D/s as Real by: lunaKM (7)
  Part of the typical criticism of D/s full-time is that it can't be real. No one can live 24/7 D/s. I hear it a lot. These people say that life gets in the way…
- Adult Children of Alcoholics and Submission by: SehAnru (6)
  Being one myself, I have done a lot of research over the years on the affects of this as well as Co-Dependency which is part of what develops most commonly in…
- Altered Submissive Speech - Thoughts and Ideas by: lunaKM (3)
  I was once an online submissive. I know a bit about the language and grammar rules that reside there. They are creative and interesting and serve their purpose…
- Am I Ready to Go from Online to Real Life? by: lunaKM (2)
  I'm always amazed at the number of submissives that contact me who are in online-only relationships; even though that is how I started with KnyghtMare. An…
- Am I Submissive? by: lunaKM (7)
  So, you want me to tell you how you can tell if you are submissive or not? Asking someone else if you are submissive is like asking a blind man what color your…
- Another 7 Things You Can Do Today to Improve Your Submission by: lunaKM (5)
  A few months ago I started a list of things you can do to improve your submission immediately. If you want to see what's in that list, you can find that post…
- Are Female Dominants More About Mental Dominance Than Physical Dominance by: Guest Author (5)
  This is a guest post by fuzzyP, a male submissive in a relationship with his Goddess and a regular participant of the Submissive Guide chatroom. "Is It True…
- Are You Cut Out to Be Submissive? by: lunaKM (8)
  From Submissive Guide Newsletter sent 12/7/09 Not everyone is capable of being submissive. It is even possible that you are not really cut out for it. We…
- Ask For What You Want by: lunaKM (10)
  As a novice submissive, I believed that asking for anything was not appropriate for a submissive. I rarely requested a favorite restaurant, something at the…
- BDSM Books You Can Get on Kindle by: lunaKM (5)
  Books are a wonderful way to learn on your own about BDSM, submission, sex and all the other activities you can explore. But who wants to carry a BDSM book…
- Carte Blanche - Repeating Misbehavior Patterns by: lunaKM (1)
  Getting in trouble. We've all been there a time or two. It comes with learning and training new things as well as changing behaviors. Our Dominants generally…
- Deceptive Submissive - The Flip Side of the Predator Dominant by: Guest Author (4)
  This is a guest post by Camryn Darkstone. Virtual worlds have opened a door to BDSM for many people, allowing them to explore their curiosity about it in a…
- Discovering Your Submissive Nature by: lunaKM (12)
  Discovering your submissive nature isn't always a sudden process. For many people it takes some soul searching to see that you may enjoy being a people-pleaser…
- Distinguishing Between Wants and Needs by: lunaKM
  Continuing the Wants and Needs Series, this essay is about knowing the difference between wants and needs. If you would like to read the previous essay, please…
- Do Bottoms Have a Bad Rap? by: lunaKM (6)
  In BDSM, there are roles for every identification; from slave all the way down to the lowly bottom. But why is the bottom so far down the totem pole to begin…
- Do You Answer When Submission Calls You? by: lunaKM (3)
  There is no way to be sure but, the large majority of information about the D/s lifestyle is in fiction form. While it's nice to escape into emotional and…
- Dominance as a Slave Training Tool for Better Submission by: lunaKM
  When starting out in submission, there are a lot of roads you can choose and so many people direct novices to training and needing to be trained. Most of these…
- Don't Be a Shelf-Sitter by: LadySneak (5)
  There is a problem that is more commonly within online submission that I refer to as shelf-sitting. I have experienced it and am slowly seeing it happen to…
- Every Submissive Struggles by: lunaKM
  We've all been there a time or two and there is hope out there. Here are some of the topics that I have covered in the past on this website for some of the…
- Every Submissive's Worst Fear by: lunaKM (5)
  When KnyghtMare started developing desires for play that I wasn't interested in or wasn't capable of there was a fear in the pit of my stomach. I was afraid…
- Fantastic Submissive Videos for Learning and Growth on Kink Academy by: lunaKM
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 2-4-12 If you can't get out to munches in your community or conventions held around the world the next best thing is a…
- Friday Favorites from Submissive Viewpoints by: lunaKM
  Every so often I find some wonderful blog posts that speak to the varying differences submissives have. Today I want to showcase a few of the more recent…
- Have a Community Spirit You Can Be Proud Of by: Guest Author
  This is a guest post by Laney. Well, you did it. You finally took the steps necessary-you found a munch, made friends, joined a dungeon and it happened.…
- Honeymooning by: lunaKM (2)
  If you've been under a rock the past year you won't know that KnyghtMare and I are getting married Saturday. Now, I've put out a plea from you, dear readers to…
- How a Cup of Coffee Centers Me by: lunaKM (6)
  I've been struggling with my submission recently. It's been a difficult and painful experience for both KnyghtMare and myself. I've been resisting my natural…
- How an Outline Aligned My Submission and What You Can Learn From It by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 5/28/11 The past month has been a busy month for me, as I prepared and delivered my first presentation at an event.…
- How to Talk to Your Dominant by: lunaKM (7)
  I'm still amazed at how many novices on FetLife and in my inbox ask me how to talk to their Dominant to ask for what they want or need. Others fail at open…
- How to Use FetLife to Broaden Your Learning by: lunaKM (5)
  Since late 2008 FetLife has proven itself to be a valuable resource for those persons looking for kink advice and learning all about fetishes they may not have…
- I Don't Want to Complain Too Much by: lunaKM (7)
  I am a high maintenance submissive. I’m well aware of the work that my Master has to constantly do to keep me happy and to keep him well-pleased. I’m not…
- I Will Get There Someday by: lunaKM (2)
  Inspired by the song “I Will Get There” by Boys II Men This post is for all the single submissives that read this site. I know there are a large…
- Importance of Needs by: lunaKM (1)
  In the previous post about wants and needs you made a list of your wants and a list of your needs so that you had them defined for your training resume. In…
- Is It Submission If You Like What You're Doing? by: lunaKM (10)
  I love surfing the submissive blogs to see what other people are talking about. Many times it gives me something to talk about here on this site. This post is…
- Is Submission in Opposition to Feminism? by: lunaKM (11)
  Recently there has been a lot of talk about Feminism and it's role in society where it's related (or not related) to submission in a D/s context. I read kaya's…
- It's Not Over Until The Fat Lady Sings AKA The Ending Of A D/s Relationship by: bgtreasure (4)
  As always the views in this article are mine and mine alone unless otherwise stated. I write about what I know and what I know is me and my journey. As…
- Juggling Daily Life and Submission by: lunaKM (1)
  We all have responsibilities in life. The family needs to be taken care of and fed, you have to work, pay the bills and keep the home repaired. Kids have to be…
- Keep In Good Standing - A Tip For Those Who Can't Kneel by: Sephani Paige (15)
  There is a sense of rightness to the act of kneeling before ones Master, a serene feeling of belonging and worship that is unique and special to each dynamic…
- Kink Academy Prices Going Up 3/18/11 - Lock In Your Price Now! by: lunaKM
  From the Newsdesk at Kink Academy! Support Submissive Guide at the same time by buying your membership through our link! Prices go up March 18th! Kink…
- Kink and Mental Health: Can “sub drop” be a trigger? by: Rayne (2)
  On the subject of sub drop and mental health issues, Aletheia asked: I have suffered from clinical depression since early adolescence, if not childhood.…
- Kink and Mental Health: Real Emotion v. Mental Illness by: Rayne (4)
  This is the second installment in my Kink and Mental Health series. For a little background on my experience with mental health issues, please read the…
- Kink and Mental Health: The Background by: Rayne (14)
  There's a lot of debate, in our kinky little corner of the worldwide web, about kinky people who have mental health issues. What kinds of problems they…
- Learning About Pain by: Guest Author (4)
  This is a guest post from Calliope. I've always thought of myself as a complete wuss when it comes to pain. My typical response to anything that hurts has…
- Learning to Ask for an Orgasm by: lunaKM (6)
  In D/s sexuality one of the more common rules is that the Dominant controls the orgasms and sexual release of the submissive. Some require that the submissive…
- Learning to Submit Completely by: lunaKM (1)
  "We all use these terms freely like Daddy and little, but seriously think back to when you were 4 or 5... Did the thought ever enter your head of where supper…
- Let's Be Selfish - Recharging The Submissive Battery by: Sephani Paige (4)
  For most of us, we've always felt that strong pull towards serving others. For others, that urge was quieted beneath propriety, shyness or fear. No matter…
- Limits: Drawing That Line In The Sand by: lunaKM (1)
  "What are your limits?" "Scat, blood, the dead and kids." "You must be new." "Huh?" "Only the novices have so few limits." This is a real…
- Living the Dream 24/7 by: nan {SL} (4)
  How do you maintain a 24/7 D/s relationship and still live in the real world? This is my new challenge as my Master moved in with me late this summer. Ritual…
- Love, honour and obey by: thisgirl (3)
  Like Luna, I'm also getting married to my Dom this year! We have been together seven years in February but it feels so much longer, I think thats a good…
- lunaKM is Taking a Break by: lunaKM (10)
  Hi folks, I'm taking a break from writing for a bit. I've been writing at least 3 times a week for 3 years. I'm online wasting time too much these days.…
- lunaKM’s Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM (2)
  It's Tax Day here in the US, which means (since it falls on a Sunday) that you have until midnight Tuesday night to file your taxes or they are late! Extra…
- Making the Transition from Online to Face-to-Face Submission by: LadySneak (3)
  This is the first post from our new contributor LadySneak! Please welcome her to the community and enjoy her first contribution about her personal struggle…
- Mapping Out Your Ideal Submission by: lunaKM (3)
  Continuing the work on your training resume, I'd like to talk about mapping out how you dream of your submission being. This is a discussion of ideals and…
- My Struggle with Accepting Domestic Service as Service by: lunaKM (11)
  I never used to enjoy domestic duties. In fact there are a number of days where I stare at my cleaning list as if doing that would make it disappear. However,…
- My Submission is Better Than Your Submission by: lunaKM (4)
  Competition is human nature. From the time we are children we start to see who is 'better' and hopefully that is you. It could be as simple as having more ice…
- Nurtured or Natural: Submission and Childhood Abuse by: lunaKM (7)
  Is the desire to be submissive natural or is it part of the way you were brought up? Especially when there was abuse involved. Those internal radars go off and…
- On Being Worthless by: Guest Author (3)
  This guest post was written by Rick’s Fucktoy. It was first published on Sensual Service which I closed when I opened Submissive Guide. It's a concept…
- One month into my first real time D/S relationship: A Training Review by: Guest Author (17)
  This is a Guest Post by A. She is a new submissive in her first 24/7 dynamic. I received this wonderfully written review of her first 30 days and she offered…
- Personal Development Challenge by: lunaKM (11)
  In the previous post about formal training I mentioned that you don't have to have a Dominant to begin training yourself to be a better submissive. Even in a…
- Poll: What Does Your Collar Mean to You? by: lunaKM (2)
  A physical reminder of your D/s relationship is a collar. As you have read it can come in many different forms. I'd like to know what is its importance to you?…
- Real Life vs. Online, the Battle for Understanding by: lunaKM (15)
  “What one has not experienced, one will never understand in print.” -Isadora Duncan I began my journey into D/s and BDSM in online chat rooms; namely…
- Review: Erotic Surrender - The Sensual Joys of Female Submission by: lunaKM (4)
  I usually enjoy reading books designed for submissives, and novice submissives specifically, because they have so much to provide for learning and personal…
- See lunaKM present "Learning to Accept Pain" at Mischief in May in Des Moines, IA by: lunaKM (1)
  It's about time I stepped out from these pages and into the speaker role, don't you think? I will be giving my first presentation at a local annual event…
- Serving after Abuse by: SehAnru (3)
  Having been in the lifestyle for almost two years now, one of the things that I have noticed is that I am facing a lot of issues due to abuse from my past. Not…
- SGBHC #5 | That Submissive Feeling by: lunaKM (11)
  Welcome everyone to the Submissive Guide Blog Hop Challenge (SGBHC)! I am so thrilled to see you here! First, the challenge... Submissive…
- Should There Be Clear Definitions to Label Yourself In This Lifestyle? by: lunaKM (11)
  So, you've met submissives and slaves online, their Dominant and Master counterparts but as you get to know them and how they interact you start to see the…
- Showing Face by: thisgirl (8)
  How many of you post pictures on the Internet of your BDSM? On maybe FetLife, Flickr, or your own blog? It has been something I have done from the very…
- Single in the Scene Part I: Boundaries by: Charmed Blyss
  Recently, I was contemplating the situation of being single in the Scene because of an email I received from someone concerning interacting with male dominants.…
- Stereotyping Submission as Feminine by: lunaKM (3)
  I read in an online forum recently about the stigma that a Master or Dom should be manly or masculine. So many replied that they agreed and had found a…
- Strengths and Misconceptions of Kajira by: Guest Author (6)
  This is another guest post by dina of kajiradreams. She continues her thoughts on Gor and the life of a kajira. You can also read her thoughts on what it's…
- Strong-Willed and Opinionated: Can I be Submissive? by: lunaKM (8)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 2-19-11 Presented with the dilemma of being outspoken, independent and strong-willed when submissive desires crop up,…
- Sub v. Slave: A Second Opinion by: Guest Author (2)
  This is a guest post by Beth, as she will tell you, she's a 24/7 slave of 2 years and would like to express what she sees as the differences between sub and…
- Submission By Choice: Learned Submission by: lunaKM (2)
  Submission has been called a gift. It has been said to be a natural characteristic. Submission is also a choice. When I first entered the lifestyle, no one…
- Submission in Marriage - Shifting from Husband and Wife to Dominant and Submissive by: lunaKM (13)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 10-08-11 Sexual exploration and adventurousness can happen at any time in a couple's life; and even more so once they…
- Submission is Not All Sunshine and Puppies by: lunaKM (2)
  I've been writing about submission here for a long time. I do my best to give a positive image to submission for those who are new and learning about BDSM and…
- Submissive and Slave: A Personal View by: Rayne (1)
  This post was written by Rayne. You can follow her twitter for active and interesting conversation. I'm pretty big on book definitions. So for me, the word…
- Submissive Blog Hop Challenge #4 | Questioning Your Submission by: lunaKM (7)
  One of the things that people love most about this site is gaining new knowledge and viewpoints. I have taken it upon myselves to organize a day to take…
- Submissive Guide Blog Hop Challenge #5 | That Submissive Feeling by: lunaKM (4)
  One of the things that people love most about this site is gaining new knowledge and viewpoints. I have taken it upon myselves to organize a day to take…
- Submissive Guide's New e-Books! by: lunaKM
  Certainly one of the new ways to spread information is through the internet, but what about the rise in ebooks? I thought I'd take a chance and start developing…
- Submitting in Public: How is it Done? by: lunaKM (10)
  KnyghtMare and I are always in role. Even when out in public he is the Dominant and I am submissive to him. So, it's with great frequency that I get asked how…
- Submitting to Pain by: nan {SL} (7)
  BDSM immediately conjures up images of a whip-wielding Dominatrix punishing some poor submissive who is screaming in pain. As delightful as that image is, not…
- Super-Ego And The Good Girl by: Sephani Paige (7)
  How many times have you heard a submissive say how he/she loves to be told they are a "good girl/boy" by their dominant? Yet how many times have any of them…
- Symbols of Ownership by: thisgirl (3)
  After my last post on value which was about ownership and the transaction where my Master 'bought' me, someone emailed me to enquire about further ways…
- The Abuse Debate: A Matter of Acceptance Not Consent by: Guest Author (5)
  This is a guest post by Darkrose. BDSM relationships make the argument on abuse much more complicated than it already is, and those in TPE relationship have…
- The Bare Necessities by: lunaKM (1)
  A friend asked me the other day what was necessary in a D/s or TPE relationship in order to make it fulfilling for me. It was quite an interesting question and…
- The Challenges of Being Kajira in Today’s Society by: Guest Author (8)
  Today's guest post is by dina from Kajiradreams. You can also read her post on what it's like to be an owned kajira and a kajira's strengths and misconceptions.…
- The Differences Between Bottom, Masochist, Submissive and Slave by: lunaKM (43)
  As a point of personal opinion I'd like to define the differences between very basic terms so that there is no confusion as to who I am referring to when I…
- The Female of the Species by: thisgirl (8)
  I am bi-sexual, and I have been ever since I can remember. When I was young I obviously didn't know the way I felt were the first signs of bi-curiosity…
- The Gift of Submission, Or Is It? by: lunaKM (10)
  When I first started exploring submission I heard and read numerous times that submission is a gift to the Dominant that accepts it. For a long time I…
- The Honor Notebook by: lunaKM (1)
  As submissives we tend to need to be reminded what we are doing to improve our lives and to give credit for success and progress no matter how small we may…
- The Honor Notebook by: lunaKM (4)
  As submissives we tend to need to be reminded what we are doing to improve our lives and to give credit for success and progress no matter how small we may…
- The Honor Notebook by: lunaKM (1)
  As submissives we tend to need to be reminded what we are doing to improve our lives and to give credit for success and progress no matter how small we may…
- The Honor Notebook by: lunaKM (2)
  As submissives we tend to need to be reminded what we are doing to improve our lives and to give credit for success and progress no matter how small we may…
- The Honor Notebook by: lunaKM
  As submissives we tend to need to be reminded what we are doing to improve our lives and to give credit for success and progress no matter how small we may…
- The Importance of Journaling Your Submission by: lunaKM (7)
  Communication is one of the key elements that make a D/s relationship strong. Without good communication your relationship is destined to fail. While talking…
- The Importance of Taking Your Time by: lunaKM (2)
  One thing I have learned from my experience as a submissive and my encounters with submissives and slaves all over the place has been the importance of taking…
- The Many Faces of Submission by: lunaKM (5)
  Types of submissives come in as many varieties as wines; there is one for every palette and preference. When someone tells you that you are submissive and you…
- The Numbers Game: Age and Experience by: lunaKM (9)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 10/9/10 Age or experience, particularly of the Dominant seems to always been in question no matter where you are. You…
- The Realities of Online Submission by: lunaKM (1)
  Exploring submission online is a growing reality. Chat networks, IRC chat rooms and websites developed for real-time fantasy all have areas where the D/s…
- The Return of a Collar by: Guest Author (1)
  This is the second guest post by Laney. If you'd like to read her first about a submissive's toy bag, you can do so here. Ever since I entered “the…
- The Secret of Communicating When You Are Shy by: lunaKM (4)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 9-17-11 Open communication is complicated by shyness. Addressing that shyness could help you open up to your partner…
- The Value of a Slave by: thisgirl (2)
  One of my earliest fantasies, or dreams actually, was the idea of being owned by someone and I envisaged the whole notion of belonging to someone much more…
- The Wife vs The Slave by: Guest Author (9)
  This is a guest post by Jim’s {Beth}. Alternative lifestyles make some people nervous. Others believe that anyone who lives such a lifestyle must be sick,…
- Theories of Feminism and Submission by: nan {SL} (6)
  I have spent much time pondering the seemingly conflicting views of feminism and submission. In the first part of my article, I would like to discuss feminism…
- There Is No Such Thing as Vanilla Life When You Are 24/7 by: lunaKM (6)
  I know I say I use FetLife for a lot of my ideas on things to write about, and it's true. There are many novices on there and the multitude of questions and…
- Those First Few Baby Steps by: lunaKM (2)
  From Submissive Guide Newsletter 6/19/10 Everyone has to start here. The very beginning, where all the jargon of BDSM starts to fill your mind and…
- To Be Submissive Without a Dominant by: lunaKM (8)
  Some of the insane talk coming from online communities all the time is that you can't be submissive without a Dominant (or can't be slave without a Master).…
- Top 30 Posts of 2010 by: lunaKM
  This is a showcase the top 30 posts of 2010. I’ve noted in the link if the author was a guest post. You may have missed a few gems! My Submissive Code of…
- Top 30 Posts of 2011 by: lunaKM
  This is a showcase the top 30 posts of 2011. I’ve noted in the link if the author was a guest post. You may have missed a few gems! What FetLife Has…
- Understanding Sub Fever by: lunaKM (1)
  This is from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 9-3-11 Sub fever, also known as sub frenzy is an often misunderstood condition for novice and well seasoned…
- Upcoming Series on Speaking Submissively by: lunaKM (8)
  I have to admit that I have always been curious about how vocalizations can give someone a different personality, class or quality. Dialects, accents and word…
- What Does "Breaking a Slave" Mean? by: lunaKM (11)
  There is some recent discussion of "breaking a slave" going on at the popular social network, FetLife right now. I'm watching it spread across the groups that…
- What I Think about Underage Experimentation and Submission by: lunaKM (11)
  Another question from March Question Month comes from Coco: I am curious about what your thoughts on those who admit to participating underage is? I have…
- What is Kajira? by: Guest Author (2)
  This is a guest post by Dara. What is Kajira? If you had asked me that 4 months ago I would have had no clue. Slave girl? Now there’s a term I recognized,…
- What is Submission to You? by: lunaKM (2)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 11-19-11 Thinking back on the beginning of my exploration into submission I came to realize some simple things about…
- What is the "Spirit of the Rule" by: SehAnru (3)
  As a submissive, it can be easy to get into the habit of trudging along in a daily routine. You know what you should be doing: for some, the routine is…
- What It Means to Be an Owned Kajira by: Guest Author (18)
  Today's guest post is by dina from Kajiradreams. She's donated a few posts for this week on Gorean Living so watch for them in the coming days! My…
- What Makes a Good Dominant? by: thisgirl (3)
  I'd commented on a thread recently on the topic of what makes a good dominant here on fetlife and I've been thinking about it a little more since as I have had…
- What to Do When Your Dominant is Not Emotionally Available by: Twist (14)
  I surrendered to my own submission.
- What's a Day in Your Life as a Submissive Like? by: lunaKM (2)
  One of the things that is hard for me to convey on this site is that each and every relationship is different and unique. I can only write from my viewpoint…
- When He Removes The Collar: The 3 R's to Get You Back on Your Feet by: lunaKM (2)
  In the fall of 2006 my relationship with KnyghtMare was on the rocks. I was battling with submission and what it meant for my life with him. He was changing…
- When Mommy/slave is Ill... by: malak Briar-rose (4)
  Let's face it. Not everyone out there is graced with excellent health, some of us are even chronically ill. Myself, I face being on dialysis along with Lupus…
- When You Can't Get Away: Follow Up to Submissive PMS by: lunaKM
  In a recent video post about Submissive PMS I had someone email me with some questions that I thought deserved a new post. If you haven't seen the video or…
- Where Do I Start? by: lunaKM (2)
  This is a video post about how to get started once you decide you want to explore submission. I'd have to say that the most common question I get from…
- Who Has the Power, Really? by: lunaKM (4)
  Essentially I think we all believe that Dominant/submissive is an exchange of power but when you talk about it with others there happens to be two schools of…
- Why I Think No Limits Slavery Does Not Exist by: lunaKM (22)
  This is a video post about no limits slavery - or rather, why I think it doesn't exist. Last month Rayne wrote a post about how she lives in a no limits…
- Why I Used to Believe I Could Never Be a Slave by: lunaKM (6)
  Within weeks of the realization that I wanted to be more than a kinky bed partner I made the personal definitions of submissive and slave. Since then, over 7…
- Why “To Please Him” Isn’t Always Good Enough by: lunaKM (9)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 1/29/11 The world is full of automatic responses that people use to common questions. One of the most common questions…
- You Are What You Read by: thisgirl (7)
  It's one of those questions people always ask isn't it. What got you into BDSM? Or into D/s? Some people think it is to do with their nature from birth,…
- [CLOSED] Enter to Win One Year Membership with Kink Academy! by: lunaKM (19)
  Princess Kali of Kink Academy has given me the opportunity to hold a contest here on Submissive Guide and give away one full year of membership to Kink…
- [Video Post] An Epidemic: Bottom's Disease by: lunaKM (1)
  You and I are submissive. We desire to serve someone else in some way but that is about all that is common between the two of us. We are different. We see…
Category: Submissive Positions (17)
Positions can be adopted in many different situations. Some higher protocol relationships specialize in a positions set of their own. Articles here deal with…
- A Grand Apology [Day 11 - 2WBSP] by: lunaKM
  Today's task is to learn an appropriate pose to take when apologizing for wrong-doing. If you need to review the past posts in this series, please take a look…
- Altering Positions [Day 13 - 2WBSP] by: lunaKM
  Reading the past posts on the Submissive positions project may bring some of you to the realization that you can't perform these poses for health or body size…
- Attending Your Dominant [Day 6 - 2WBSP] by: lunaKM
  In the previous posts we covered basic positions that should now be familiar and perhaps you have worked out in your relationship that you want to employ them.…
- Gracefully Lowering Yourself [Day 3 - 2WBSP] by: lunaKM
  We have covered standing and kneeling so far in the positions project here at Submissive Guide. Today we will cover going from standing to kneeling in a…
- Learning to Kneel [Day 1 - 2WBSP] by: lunaKM
  Today's post in the two week project here at Submissive Guide is focused on kneeling. Do you kneel in front of your Dominant partner at any point of your…
- Offering Your Body for Service [Day 9 - 2WBSP] by: lunaKM
  An intense and beautiful display of your body and offering yourself for service to your Dominant can be intimate, powerful and elegant. Today we are going to…
- Offering Your Neck for Collar [Day 8 - 2WBSP] by: lunaKM
  We are just over half way through the two weeks of submissive positions here on Submissive Guide. Here's a review of what we've covered so far: Lear…
- Regaining Submissive Mind-Space Through Ritual by: nan {SL} (10)
  Many submissives have jobs where they are managers, business owners, or in charge in some way or another. Sometimes it can be difficult to re-enter your…
- Rise From The Floor With Finesse [Day 4 - 2WBSP] by: lunaKM (3)
  The next part of this two week series is about getting up from the floor. You've already learned about kneeling, standing at attention and lowering yourself…
- Serving Food and Drink [Day 7 - 2WBSP] by: lunaKM (8)
  Welcome to another day of learning and enhancing submissive positions. Today we are going to cover food service etiquette. Some of this may be familiar to you.…
- Show Off Your Positions! [Day 14 - 2WBSP] by: lunaKM
  You have followed the whole series of Submissive Positions posts here at Submissive Guide. If not, start back at the beginning, I'll wait for you here. Are…
- Standing at Attention [Day 2 - 2WBSP] by: lunaKM
  Today's challenge in the two week project here at Submissive Guide is all about standing at attention. One of the most common ways you can present…
- Stop Fidgeting! [Day 12 - 2WBSP] by: lunaKM
  Just 2 days left in the Submissive Positions project here at Submissive Guide. If you need a review, please take a look at the primary post; it has links to…
- The Bunny Dip by: nan {SL} (1)
  How can you avoid 'spillage' when serving a drink in your sexiest fet wear? Try 'the bunny dip'!
- To Bow and Curtsy Appropriately [Day 5 - 2WBSP] by: lunaKM (2)
  This is a continuation of the ongoing project for submissive positions here at Submissive Guide. Today we will cover bowing and curtsying. Every culture has…
- Two Weeks to Better Submissive Positions by: lunaKM (1)
  Submissive Positions are talked about all over like everyone is supposed to be doing them or something. Not every relationship is set up to provide that level…
- Worship and Obedience [Day 10 - 2WBSP] by: lunaKM (2)
  Nearing the end of our 2 Weeks to Better Submissive Positions here at Submissive Guide. Today we are going to learn positions of worship. There will be…
Category: SubWise (18)
A submissive carnival. I ask a question and then you post on your blog/journal the answer. Link it all up a week later into a nice list. This has been…
- SubWise #1: Your Personal Submission by: lunaKM (2)
  Last week I asked you to write in your own blogs and journals about your personal submission. As a reminder, here's the question: Define your personal…
- SubWise #1: Your Personal Submission - Participation Request by: lunaKM
  It's time for you to participate! This is a topic carnival. I'm sure that many of you have participated in these before. I'm going to give you a topic to write…
- SubWise #2: Advice You Swear By by: lunaKM (2)
  Last week I asked you to share some advice that you live by or love passing on to novices because it worked so well for you. Here's the submissions I got.…
- SubWise #2: Advice You Swear By - Participation Request by: lunaKM
  This is the second SubWise! You know what to do by now. I’m going to give you a topic to write about and your task goes like this: Write about the topic…
- SubWise #3: Ease of Obedience by: lunaKM (1)
  Last week I asked you to talk about the easiness of obedience to you. Here are the submissions I got. There is some excellent advice here folks! Check it out.…
- SubWise #3: Ease of Obedience - Participation Request by: lunaKM (2)
  Its time for SubWise! You know what to do by now. I’m going to give you a topic to write about and your task goes like this: Write about the topic in…
- SubWise #4: Favorite Scene Memory by: lunaKM (2)
  Last week I asked you to talk about your favorite scene memory. Here are the submissions I got. There is some excellent advice here folks! Check it out. Make…
- SubWise #4: Favorite Scene Memory - Particpation Request by: lunaKM (1)
  Its time for SubWise! You know what to do by now. I’m going to give you a topic to write about and your task goes like this: Write about the topic in…
- SubWise #5: A Year's Reflection by: lunaKM (2)
  Last week I asked you to talk about your reflections on the year and your progress with submission. Here are the submissions I received. There is some…
- SubWise #5: A Year's Reflection - Participation Request by: lunaKM
  Its time for SubWise! You know what to do by now. I’m going to give you a topic to write about and your task goes like this: Write about the topic in…
- SubWise #6: Myth Busting by: lunaKM
  Last week I asked you to talk all about BDSM Myths. Here are the submissions I received. There is some excellent thoughts here folks! Check it out. Make sure…
- SubWise #6: Myth Busting - Participation Request by: lunaKM
  Its time for SubWise! You know what to do by now. I’m going to give you a topic to write about and your task goes like this: Write about the topic in…
- SubWise #7 - Romance by: lunaKM (3)
  Last week I asked you to talk all about romance in D/s relationships. Here are the submissions I received. There is some excellent thoughts here folks! Check…
- SubWise #7: Romance - Participation Request by: lunaKM
  Its time for SubWise! You know what to do by now. I’m going to give you a topic to write about and your task goes like this: Write about the topic in…
- SubWise #8 - Submission in Public by: lunaKM (7)
  Last week I asked you to talk all about submission in public. Make sure you leave comments! (Participants, repost the link list within a week and…
- SubWise #8: Serving in Public - Participation Request by: lunaKM
  Its time for SubWise! You know what to do by now. I’m going to give you a topic to write about and your task goes like this: Write about the topic in…
- SubWise #9 - Scene Music by: lunaKM (2)
  Last week I asked you to talk all about favorite music for play time. Here are the submissions I received. There is some excellent thoughts here folks! Check…
- SubWise #9: Scene Music - Participation Request by: lunaKM
  Its time for SubWise! You know what to do by now. I’m going to give you a topic to write about and your task goes like this: Write about the topic in…
Category: Talents and Skills (23)
Unique and intriguing talents that submissives do in their relationship. You might be surprised with the interesting things you read about here.
- A Cherry Pop: Bootblacking and Boot Worship by: Charmed Blyss (1)
  There once was a time when I would have turned my nose up to bootblacking (gasp). And the germaphobe in me would have been mortified at the sheer thought of…
- An Introduction to Body Service by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 11-5-11 One of the more intimate ways that we submissives can serve our Dominants is by learning and performing…
- Cooking for Master by: nan {SL} (4)
  I think it was at least 3 years into my relationship with my Master before I had to cook for Him. I was terrified at the thought. When I visit Master, He…
- Creating a Personal Protocol by: lunaKM
  Protocol. It's a word that is used in BDSM groups online and off with a sort of secrecy and awe. It's relegated to those in 24/7 type relationships and…
- Introduction to Submissive Speech by: lunaKM (1)
  Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is…
- Learning Good Observation Skills by: lunaKM (1)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 3-5-11 Over 6 years ago now, my perceptions of what a submissive was were still very shallow and incomplete. I believed…
- Personal Grooming of your Master or Mistress by: SehAnru (4)
  A part of Domestic service which is very intimate is personal grooming. If you are allowed to groom your Master or Mistress or want to learn how, here are some…
- Submissive Skills: Hunt Slut by: nan {SL} (2)
  Hunting is a huge part of my Master’s life. As His submissive I could either consider that side of Him ‘vanilla’, or I could learn more about it and…
- Submissive Skills: Topping For Your Dominant's Pleasure by: lunaKM (14)
  Every relationship dynamic is different. If you've been following this blog for any length of time you have been exposed to some very unique relationships and…
- Submissive Speech 10: Speaking with Service Persons by: lunaKM (1)
  Think about the last time you went out to eat or stood in line at a check out counter. Do you remember looking at the service person who waited on you? Did you…
- Submissive Speech 11: Topics to Avoid with Other Submissives by: lunaKM (2)
  If you get 2 submissives in a room together and it's very likely that a discussion will take place about their Dominant partners. We sure love to talk about…
- Submissive Speech 12: Don't Use That Tone With Me by: lunaKM (2)
  The last post in this series is not about speech but how we say things that speak a lot about our mood, impression of the situation and so much more - our…
- Submissive Speech 1: Addressing Individuals by: lunaKM
  In a BDSM context, it’s more common to have to learn how to address someone than in a non-scene situation. How many times have you had conversations with…
- Submissive Speech 2: Personal Introductions by: lunaKM
  Generally speaking, the first time you encounter someone in a BDSM context you will likely have to introduce yourself. We’ve all heard that you only get one…
- Submissive Speech 3: Asking a Question by: lunaKM
  You should never be afraid to ask a question of your Dominant, however in certain circumstances there are inappropriate ways to ask questions and inappropriate…
- Submissive Speech 4: How to Apologize by: lunaKM (3)
  The proper apology is an art, it really is. But before we put that together I’d like to cover the reason for apologizing in the first place. Apologizing…
- Submissive Speech 5: Answering in the Positive by: lunaKM (3)
  Saying yes is one of the most frequent phrases I say on a regular basis. There are several ways you can express a "yes" response to your Dominant or…
- Submissive Speech 6: Answering in the Negative by: lunaKM (2)
  Just as saying yes or answering in the affirmative can be done many ways, saying no has many ways you can say it also. When a submissive gives a negative…
- Submissive Speech 7: Polite Interruptions by: lunaKM
  In everyone's daily exchanges with people there comes a time we will need to interrupt another person or persons to pass on information. For a polite and…
- Submissive Speech 8: Showing Gratitude by: lunaKM
  One of the most valuable things that I think any submissive should know is how to express gratitude in more than one way. I know I've taken a lot for granted…
- Submissive Speech 9: Answering the Phone or Door by: lunaKM (3)
  Sometimes we forget that speaking in a submissive manner could include moments we don't know who is on the other end of the conversation. Answering the phone…
- Teach Yourself Belly Dancing Using YouTube by: lunaKM (6)
  As a part of my work to improve myself and make my submission fun and exciting always I am constantly searching for things I can add to my service that my…
- The Bunny Dip by: nan {SL} (1)
  How can you avoid 'spillage' when serving a drink in your sexiest fet wear? Try 'the bunny dip'!
Category: Training Resume (14)
Develop Your Training Folder to keep track of your learning and experience all in one place.
- Add Cons, Classes and Events to your Training Resume by: lunaKM (2)
  Your training resume should be growing in bulk and excellent information if you've been following along and developing your sections fully. We are now going to…
- Add Your Reading List to Your Training Resume by: lunaKM
  Since the beginning of Submissive Guide I have been writing essays to help you build your service/submissive/slave resume. This is the living document of your…
- Beginning Your Training Resume by: lunaKM (4)
  A training resume is just another name for a folder where you are going to start keeping your list of training achieved, history and important documents. Much…
- Develop Your Submission with a Training Resume by: lunaKM
  Using the posts and resources here at Submissive Guide you have tools necessary to start creating your Training Resume; a folder of all your past, present and…
- Importance of Needs by: lunaKM (1)
  In the previous post about wants and needs you made a list of your wants and a list of your needs so that you had them defined for your training resume. In…
- Know What You Want, Learn What You Need by: lunaKM (2)
  Wants and needs are very important to any relationship. When you start to understand who you are as a submissive, it's time to figure out what you are looking…
- Learn a New Skill to Enhance Your Service with Free Online Courses by: lunaKM
  There are many ways that submissives can learn new skills and training that will enhance what you can provide your Dominant. Just imagine being able to speak…
- Mapping Out Your Ideal Submission by: lunaKM (3)
  Continuing the work on your training resume, I'd like to talk about mapping out how you dream of your submission being. This is a discussion of ideals and…
- My Submissive Code of Ethics by: lunaKM (9)
  I’ve been developing a submissive code of ethics for myself to help give me long term goals and a focus. I feel it will bring about change in me that perhaps…
- Recording Your Completed Training by: lunaKM
  Your Training Resume is a folder or binder with all of your training, history and experience in it, so that you can give it to a prospective Dominant or to…
- Recording Your Training History by: lunaKM (2)
  Your training history is the catalog of the past relationships that you have had within a D/s dynamic. You will be documenting the training you received and…
- Setting Realistic Goals to Realize Your Dreams by: lunaKM (1)
  From Submissive Guide Newsletter published 1/9/10 Every year many people sit down and make a long list of resolutions they'd like to accomplish in the…
- The BDSM Checklist that Will Really Help You by: lunaKM (4)
  An important part of negotiating a scene is discussing what you want out of the scene. Sure there are a lot of really thorough BDSM checklists that you could…
- The Value of Checklists by: lunaKM
  This week's video tip is on the BDSM Checklist. If you've just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been…
Category: Video Posts (29)
Sometimes it’s nice to have a face behind the words. These posts are done in front of the camera for you to enjoy.
- Assualt is NOT okay by: lunaKM (5)
  This week's video post is about an issue that needs more awareness. I had someone ask me for some advice through my email the other day and it went…
- Can I Be Abused in a BDSM Relationship? by: lunaKM
  This week's video post is about BDSM vs. Abuse. A BDSM relationship, especially one with sadomasochistic moments, is subject to questions all the time…
- Can Online Training Work? by: lunaKM (6)
  This week's video is about online training and submission. The world of online Dominance and submission is riddled with skepticism and disbelief that…
- Collars by: lunaKM (3)
  This week's video tip is about collars. Collars are a commonly discussed topic in BDSM. There is a wide range of information and opposing viewpoints on…
- Come Check Out the Submissive Guide Community [VIDEO] by: lunaKM (1)
  The community has been open for just over a month now and I am amazed at the quality of discussions going on. The friendships that have been forged are…
- Do I have to Like Pain to be Submissive? by: lunaKM (2)
  This week's video post is about masochism and submission. I mentioned this in the post about myths that submissive's aren't always masochist. I…
- Donate Your Old BDSM Books to Submissive Guide by: lunaKM
  This week's video post is a plea for your assistance with books for the review section of this site. I'm working on bringing you more book reviews more…
- First Meetings Done Safely by: lunaKM (3)
  This week's video post is on First Meetings Safety. When you are ready to meet your dream Dominant for the first time, what goes through your mind? Do…
- Identifying Fake Dominants and Posers by: lunaKM (18)
  This week's video tip is on Red Flags of Fake Dominants. The question I was asked today is, "How do you identify fake Dominants and what are some red…
- Kink Network Announces the Opening of Their Adult Blog Host Kinky-Blogging.com by: lunaKM (3)
  FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE - CROSS POST FREELY Kink Network Announces the Opening of Their Adult Blog Host Kinky-Blogging.com February 10, 2011 Kink…
- Maintenance Spankings; Why Do It? by: lunaKM (2)
  This week's video post is about maintenance spankings. Maintenance spankings are a way to keep the relationship fresh, revive the roles on a regular basis…
- Open for Questions by: lunaKM (22)
  Submissive Guide.com is doing wonderfully as a start up site and I hope that each and every one of you has learned and grown in your submission since you…
- Setting Yourself Up for Rejection [Video] by: lunaKM (3)
  This video post is about an epidemic I've seen with submissives all over. A submissive, dating and seeing Dominants; rarely going past the first few…
- Submissive PMS and How to Deal With It by: lunaKM (6)
  This video post is about how to deal with a submissive bout of PMS. It's not your normal run of the mill PMS. You don't have cramps or bloating or…
- The Impact of Velcro Collars on the Symbolism by: lunaKM (3)
  This week's video post is about velcro collars. To submissives, a collar is one of the most important things they have. It is a symbol of their…
- The Many Layers of Sub Space by: lunaKM (6)
  This week's video post is about sub space. When you first heard about sub space it was probably something that you either thought you'd never experience…
- The Real Truth Behind the Fear of Topping from the Bottom by: lunaKM (5)
  There are a lot of things on the internet talking about topping from the bottom as being a bad bad submissive thing. It's made people terrified that…
- The Value of Checklists by: lunaKM
  This week's video tip is on the BDSM Checklist. If you've just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been…
- What is a Mentor? by: lunaKM (2)
  This week's video tip is about mentors. A mentor is a person more experienced in certain aspects of life than you are. They are also more open to…
- What Is Slave Training? by: lunaKM (11)
  In this week's video tip I talk about what training is to a submissive and the value it has to a D/s relationship. When someone thinks of slave training,…
- What NOT to Share on Your Online Profile by: lunaKM (5)
  This video post is about what not to share on your online profile. We all have one somewhere. FetLife being all the rage right now, but also we have…
- What You Should Bring to Play Sessions [Video] by: lunaKM
  With the wide range or play activities and tools needed for them, you can be sure that you will have at least one full bag of items. Yes submissives, you…
- What's the Difference Between a Lifestyler and a Player? by: lunaKM (6)
  This week's video is about definitions of a lifestyler and a player. I received the following question via email the other day and thought I would cover…
- When Does Punishment Go Too Far? by: lunaKM (1)
  This video post answers a question I got recently about the line between punishment and abuse. A year ago I did a post about BDSM and abuse and in it…
- Where Do I Start? by: lunaKM (2)
  This is a video post about how to get started once you decide you want to explore submission. I'd have to say that the most common question I get from…
- Why I Think No Limits Slavery Does Not Exist by: lunaKM (22)
  This is a video post about no limits slavery - or rather, why I think it doesn't exist. Last month Rayne wrote a post about how she lives in a no limits…
- Your First Munch by: lunaKM (5)
  This week's video tip is about what to expect at your first munch. So you are ready to venture into the great wide expanse of public life and meet…
- [Video Post] An Epidemic: Bottom's Disease by: lunaKM (1)
  You and I are submissive. We desire to serve someone else in some way but that is about all that is common between the two of us. We are different. We see…
- [Video] Can I Access Subspace Too? by: lunaKM
  We talk about subspace a lot in our descriptions of play and scenes we may get into. As an experienced submissive I tend to forget that moment early on…
Category: Views & More... (301)
A broad mish-mash of opinions, views and thoughts that don’t fit in any one category.
- A Day in the Life Series - Post Requests by: lunaKM (5)
  I want to hear what your relationship is like! In December I will be running a series of your posts telling us what a typical day is like in service to your…
- About this girl by: thisgirl
  First of all, thanks to Luna for welcoming me to the team here at Submissive Guide. I am a 30 year old submissive living in the United Kingdom with my…
- Best BDSM Fiction for Hot Steamy Nights by: lunaKM (4)
  I love reading BDSM fiction, erotica and other service books. I broke my kinky teeth on the Story of O so I can't ignore it on this list, but it's not the best…
- Bonus 3rd Chat Night! Let's talk about the Holidays! by: lunaKM
  Wow! Could it be? Another chat night here at Submissive Guide. Due to the way the month ended up we have an extra chat night for the month coming this Tuesday.…
- Celebrating Two Years and the Future of Submissive Guide by: lunaKM (2)
  I never imagined I'd still have things to say after 2 years of regular posts on this site, but I do and it makes me so very happy to say that. This month is…
- Chaos incarnate? You've got to be kidding. by: Rayne (1)
  I never really know how to start these things. I must have introduced myself a hundred times, in a hundred different places, and a hundred different ways,…
- Chat Night Transcript for Collars and Collaring Ceremonies Discussion by: lunaKM (1)
  I've had a few requests to see the transcript of this chat night. I apologize for taking so long to post it! This is the chat discussion from 3/1/11 (8:12:56…
- Chat Night Transcript for Speaking Submissively by: lunaKM (5)
  This chat was held on December 2nd, 2009. ~lunaKM> So tonight I wanted to talk about speech and how the way we communicate can impact our submission. N…
- Chat Night Transcript From BDSM and Sex Talk - 8/25/09 by: lunaKM (4)
  Our first chat was a great success. Everyone gave permission to post the transcript and continue the conversation here. I loved every minute of interesting…
- Chat Night Transcript from BDSM with Kids at Home Chat by: lunaKM (2)
  Not every chat is logged, however when a topic really gets interesting I ask for permission to post our conversation on the website. Even if you missed the…
- Chat Night Transcript from Masochism Talk by: lunaKM (1)
  This chat was held April 20, 2010. <lunaKM> Alright, so are we all ready to talk about Masochism? <Soleil25> Yes <Justin> yes <Myst&g…
- Chat Night Transcript From Sub Space and Sub Drop Talk by: lunaKM (1)
  <~luna> Now I'd like to hear from everyone... have you experienced subspace? If you don't know if you have, it's okay. <selene1123> i'm pretty…
- Chat Night Transcript From What is Service Talk by: lunaKM
  lunaKM> So, first I'd like to get some impression about how new you are to submission. Could you please tell me how long you have been exploring submission…
- Check Out eLust #17 by: lunaKM
  ~ Featured Posts (Lilly’s Pick) ~ Why Pride is Still Important – When someone tells me that they don’t think Pride is necessary, I can’t help…
- Check Out eLust #23 by: lunaKM
  Welcome to e - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy…
- Check Out e[lust] #12 by: lunaKM
  Welcome to e - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy…
- Check Out e[lust] #19 by: lunaKM
  Welcome to e - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy…
- Check out e[lust] #8 by: lunaKM
  Welcome to e - your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy…
- Check Us Out on e[lust] #32! by: lunaKM
  Welcome to e, the sex blog round-up- The best posts from the hottest and smartest sex bloggers all in one place! This edition highlights topics such as…
- Come Check Out the Submissive Guide Community [VIDEO] by: lunaKM (1)
  The community has been open for just over a month now and I am amazed at the quality of discussions going on. The friendships that have been forged are…
- Exploring BDSM in a Guest Post Feature Series by: lunaKM
  To herald in the New Year I have been able to collect guest posts from some of the best voices in submission to share with you what it's like to explore and…
- Failing to Find a Good BDSM Education Online by: lunaKM (3)
  When a BDSM novice comes to me to ask for advice I like to refer them to a few blogs that I enjoy who tell it like it is. A blog written by someone living and…
- Get Submissive Guide's New Ebook Creating a Service and Training Resume for 30% Off Before Friday! by: lunaKM
  A brand new Submissive Guide ebook has just been released! The Creating a Service and Training Resume workbook takes your personal submissive learning to a new…
- Honeymoon Guest Writers Requested by: lunaKM (5)
  It's no secret that KnyghtMare and I are marrying soon. June 4th in fact. As that approaches I realize that I'd like to take a break from writing as a…
- Introducing nan {SL} by: nan {SL}
  I would like to introduce myself to readers of The Submissive Guide. My name is nan, and I am submissive to SirLancelot. On FetLife I am Naya-girl. (“Naya”…
- Introducing...mrs. K by: mrsK (3)
  Greetings fellow Submissive Guide readers! I find it very difficult to write an introductory passage about myself. I've been a member of FetLife for a year…
- It's me, the Irish Miss by: SehAnru (2)
  I have to say; probably the worst thing you can do to a writer is ask him or her to write about him or herself. It is the number one reason why I am not…
- Kink Network Announces the Opening of Their Adult Blog Host Kinky-Blogging.com by: lunaKM (3)
  FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE - CROSS POST FREELY Kink Network Announces the Opening of Their Adult Blog Host Kinky-Blogging.com February 10, 2011 Kink…
- Looking for Guest Posts from Domestic Divas and Happy Homemakers by: lunaKM
  Last year I did a guest post series on BDSM play activities completely out of guest posts. It was a great success and I had so many good posts go up on…
- My Top 10 Low Cost Gift Ideas for Your Dominant by: lunaKM (5)
  There are birthdays and anniversaries, holidays and special occasions of all sorts and when a submissive wants to shower their Dominant with gifts it can be…
- New Contributors to Submissive Guide by: lunaKM
  I'm very pleased to announce that there will be 2 new voices to Submissive Guide! Joining our group of intelligent ladies are thisgirl and SehAnru. thisgir…
- New to Submissive Guide? Check Out What You May Have Missed! by: lunaKM
  I know that since the beginning of Submissive Guide that I've covered a wide range of topics. You may not have seen all of them so I'd like to take the time…
- Now Available: The Spanking Series in E-Book! by: lunaKM
  If you have ever wondered how you can get the spanking you've always wanted but wasn't sure how to ask for it, there is a book for you. I was just offered the…
- Poll: Future Course Topics by: lunaKM (2)
  I've had great success from the 2 ecourses that I have on the site and many of you have taken them and let me know that they have helped you with some…
- Send Me Your Tips for the Holidays! by: lunaKM (2)
  I'm looking for your tips, tricks and recipes to make a holiday special. What DIY do you like? Any cool homemade gifts? Tutorials for homemade Christmas Cards…
- Service With Grace by: lunaKM (1)
  If you've been following Submissive Guide on twitter for any length of time you will notice an interesting blog that I have updates sent to twitter. This blog…
- Setting Realistic Goals to Realize Your Dreams by: lunaKM (1)
  From Submissive Guide Newsletter published 1/9/10 Every year many people sit down and make a long list of resolutions they'd like to accomplish in the…
- Submissive Journey Weekend 2010 Registration Now Open by: lunaKM (1)
  FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE - Please cross-post Welcome to the 3rd Annual Submissive Journey Weekend... I am proud to announce that registration for the next…
- The Behind the Scenes: A Dominant Character by: lunaKM
  I've been exploring the writing of a Dominant mind lately and thought I'd share with you some of the wonderful musings this man has for learning the Dominant…
- The Best-selling Items on Amazon According to What Our Readers Are Buying by: lunaKM (2)
  Every few months I take a look at what BDSM related books readers of the Submissive Guide community are buying at Amazon (according to the reports Amazon give…
- The Top 30 Posts of 2009 by: lunaKM
  A year ago I started a small blog project called Submissive Guide. I wanted it to be an organized place where I could voice my opinions about submission, help…
- The Value of Checklists by: lunaKM
  This week's video tip is on the BDSM Checklist. If you've just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been…
- The Winner of the Birthday Bash Giveaway is... by: lunaKM (1)
  It's time to announce the winner of the Birthday Bash Book Giveaway! It would have come as no great surprise to me or anyone here if Moridin had won, since…
- What if Submissive Guide Had a Book? by: lunaKM (7)
  From the Submissive Guide Newsletter 4-30-11 Since the inception of Submissive Guide and its growth as a notable advice and self-help website I have had…
- Where I Pick Up New Views by: lunaKM
  My viewpoint in submission and yours may not match. I've been told that I'm a realist by a good friend of mine; I strip out the fantasy of it and tell it like…
- Why You Should Sign Up for the Submissive Guide Newsletter by: lunaKM (4)
  The Submissive Guide Newsletter is your personal direct channel to what's on my mind. It's delivered every 2 weeks right to your inbox for you to read at your…
- [CLOSED] BDSM-Gear Gift Card Contest - Use Submissive Guide to Win! by: lunaKM (4)
  Who doesn't want to win to spend on some new quality BDSM gear? To celebrate the holidays I've decided to run a contest! Everyone can take part and…
- [CLOSED] Enter to Win One Year Membership with Kink Academy! by: lunaKM (19)
  Princess Kali of Kink Academy has given me the opportunity to hold a contest here on Submissive Guide and give away one full year of membership to Kink…
- [CLOSED]Birthday Bash Book Giveaway by: lunaKM (194)
  No, it's not Submissive Guide's Birthday, it's mine! Actually yesterday was my birthday and I turned 33. So to celebrate I want to give away some books to…
- [CLOSED]Enter to Win "The Dictionary of Scene-Friendly Terms" Now! by: lunaKM (28)
  At Mischief in May this year, where I presented on processing pain and Jack Rinella talked about M/s relationships we were gifted a small dictionary complied…
Category: Weekend Reflections (39)
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM (3)
  Hi folks! This week has been a forced lay about week because of a fall I took on Monday, you can read about it on my blog. I'm almost 100% besides the giant…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  I hope everyone's holidays went well. It was nice to take a break from things and focus on what's right in front of me for awhile, but I'm back! This week…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM (2)
  I'm trying out something new on Submissive Guide. It's a sort of weekly recap of what's been going on throughout the site and the web that might interest you.…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM (2)
  Another week in the books and I feel the heat of summer settling in. It's so darned hot outside, anyone else ready for fall already? Master and I went to Harry…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  My goodness it has been insanely hot this week here! I hope that you have been able to find some relief from this extreme heat wave we've been feeling in the…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM (1)
  I've been really working on my health this week with new eating habits and going back to the gym again. I don't know what got me really thinking about it but…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM (1)
  I've had to deal with a nasty summer flu the past few days and lucky for me (not) it was also over 110 degrees F, so curling up in bed or on the sofa was a no…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  It's been a busy week for me. I've gone back to the gym and my muscles are screaming at me. I'm working hard with KM to get a few more Kink Network…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM (1)
  The college kids are moving back into town this week so there has been a huge influx of people everywhere we go. I guess I take summer for granted in…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  It's the end of August and I can finally see the end to oppressive heat which means only one thing in Iowa.... the bitter cold of winter is coming.…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  College Football season is here and I'm beginning to see the excitement on people's faces as they talk about their favorite teams playing this year.…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  Ten years. It doesn't seem that long ago that I sat transfixed in front of the television as I watched the World Trade Center crumble and the American Way…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  It's been a busy week on Submissive Guide. I created a new ebook called "Creating a Service and Training Resume." I'm hoping you'll take a look at it. I…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  Hi folks! It's another week here on Submissive Guide which means another reflections. I've been feeling nesting this week. Make my home more welcoming and…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  I had an amazing time at a munch yesterday. We talked about mentoring. So many people contributed and made it a fantastic time of learning and friendship.…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM (1)
  KnyghtMare and I had a little celebration on Friday. It was the anniversary of the day he got off the plane and entered my life 7 years ago.It's so hard to…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM (3)
  This week has been a domestic week for me. I've replenished my supply of homemade laundry powder, made fake Febreeze (it rocks!) and had lots of fun with my…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  So the forewarned winter ills I talked about last week? Yeah, I got them. I had a massive cold settle in on Sunday afternoon and I've been sick with it all…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM (1)
  My birthday on Monday was really nice. We tried out a new fiberglass cane from BDSM-Gear and I had my first experience of leather butt. I've never taken a…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  This week began Nanowrimo for me. I'm using this writing challenge as a way to get some rocking awesome content for Submissive Guide produced. I have some…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM (2)
  It's been a rough week for me. First my carpal tunnel has flared, probably due to the massive amount of writing I did the first week of Nanowrimo. KnyghtMare…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  I've been suffering from writer's block this week. I'd have to say this is the hardest week of Nanowrimo for me. I've not made any sort of dent into my word…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  My laptop died this week so I've been forced to do all my computer work on my little 10" netbook. It's not an ideal solution but at least I have a computer to…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM (3)
  I severely sprained my ankle this week which has lead to a lot of lying around time and forced bed rest. You'd think I'd be productive online, but I avoided…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM (2)
  Declutter is the name of the game for me this week. I'll be cleaning up the walk-in closet and getting the kitchen sorted so that even when it's clean it looks…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  I'm feeling really romantically nostalgic this week. I've read through old emails that I kept from when KM and I were an online relationship, listened to songs…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  KM and I have been experiencing a sort of D/s bliss where things fall into place easily and the power exchange feels so effortless. These moments are wonderful…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  We got our first big snowfall for the winter yesterday. I think Mother Nature was just teasing us because it melted overnight. It's Iowa, we are supposed to be…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  It seems like almost every week I'm telling you I don't feel well or that something is going on in my life that is stressful. My life really isn't always like…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  Welcome to another weekly summary on Submissive Guide. I sure love putting these together for you. This week at KnyghtMare's house was uneventful. Valentine'…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  I got to experience a new kink last weekend that has me wriggling in my chair anticipating the next time. It was my first time with needles and I can't wait to…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  It's now March and I can't believe that Spring is right around the corner. I've experienced some really messed up Winter here. I think we had, at most, 6…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  I'm spending the weekend sick again. The flu is in full epidemic mode locally where I am. All the cold and flu meds are wiped out at drug stores. I'm curled up…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM (1)
  I'm feeling a lot better than last weekend let me tell you! I hope your week has gone well. Did everyone make sure to have a Shamrock shake, green beer or…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  This week has been a slow week here at casa de lunaKM. Spring has sprung which brings allergy season here and the weather has been wonky. One day it's over 80…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM (2)
  It's like KM and I can never catch a break. We were sick with Bronchitis this week that has left us weak and sore. I didn't get nearly as much work done as I'd…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  There really isn't a whole lot of news coming out of our house recently so I'll spare you a boring update and get right into the summary. Now for the week…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM
  Play sessions are a less common happening in the KnyghtMare household lately but this weekend we had a wonderful session that he says was one of the best ever.…
- lunaKM's Weekend Reflections by: lunaKM (2)
  It's been a pretty busy week for Submissive Guide. Instead of giving you some personal news I'd like to share what changes the site has gone through and what's…

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