Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Play Party

play party is a (usually) private party for people into the BDSM lifestyle where the primary purpose of the event is to allow people to scene (play) in public. Play parties are often held in private houses and will have one or more rooms set aside as Dungeons. There are a number of suppliers that will rent larger items of equipment to individuals for this purpose. Dungeon space can also be rented by groups of people to use as a venue for a play party.

Play parties offer a very different dynamic from more publicly accessible clubs. The numbers of people attending are much smaller, anything from 4 to 40, compared to a club which might have 200 to 2000 people. Because they are private affairs, there are many fewer restictions on what can take place during the event. Typically the play will have a much stronger sexual edge to it with fewer restictions on nudity and sex. The small size of play parties and the fact the the people attending are usually known to the organisers often provides a safer and more confidence-building environment to play in. Some people are also concerned that clubs, who generally do not vet their clubbers, might let in tabloid journalists and other undesirables and this acts as an inhibitor on their play.

Play parties can accommodate a range of interaction between the people attending, from couples who are strictly monogamous but have an exhibitionist streak and enjoy other people watching their play, to couples that enjoy swapping partners and who could be considered swingers.

What to wear

The best thing to do is to email/phone the organiser. Explain it is your first time and you don’t know what to wear. Maybe have some suggestions ready so they can yay or nay them.

There is also the TV option either male to female or female to male… just ask some friends to borrow their clothes..or head to Thrift or Consignment etc…you’d be surprised what you can get for a tenner. And thanks to the Goth/punk revival, there are lots of other items you can pick up in these high street stores.

For the more play orientated clubs, the cheapest option is wear as little as you feel comfortable in. I think the idea is that you must be genuine if you are exposing yourself. You can cover key bits with underwear or — for 10 pounds per roll — bondage tape/ black cling film?

Fetish markets often have at least one stall selling second hand clothing. Also try second hand shops, markets for leather trousers and skirts n stuff… Stalls in Portobello sell hides, vintage furs and all sorts of fun things to dress up in. PVC is a cheaper option than rubber and there are some nice options around. Rubber is also available at affordable prices. The cheapest option is to make your own. PVC sells in a whole range of colours for about 2.50 per metre.

One really easy and affordable option is to go in uniform. I know some subs feel that this is a bit dommely but a wren’s outfit with pencil skirt or a sailor boy’s outft can send out the right signal. What about a bell boy/girl? school uniform? nurse, orderly? Check out ebay…loads of great stuff.

Accessorize with handcuffs, wrist restraints, a cane and a big smile and you’ll be well away. And anyway for the first time the trick is to get in the door. Then you can meet people, check out what other people are wearing.

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