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Orgasm Control

Orgasm Control

Orgasm control, also known as “edging”, “peaking”, “surfing”, and by other terms, is a sexual technique which involves the maintenance of a high level of sexual arousal for an extended period of time without reaching orgasm, although orgasm can be reached eventually. If orgasm is not reached after the extended period of arousal, it is referred to as erotic sexual denial. If the partner whose orgasm is being controlled, sometimes referred to as the submissive partner, is put into physical restraints, it may better control the orgasm (the activity is sometimes called tie and tease and if orgasm is denied it is tease and denial). Another possibility is for one partner to help produce multiple orgasms in the other.

Orgasm control can involve either one sex partner being in control of the other partner’s orgasm, or a person delaying their own orgasm during either sexual intercourse or masturbation. To experience orgasm control, any method of sexual stimulation can be used – for example, manual, oral, intercourse, or with sex toys - either alone or by means of one or more active partners. Orgasm control is called “slow masturbation” in Alex Comfort’s The New Joy of Sex(1993) and “extended massive orgasm” in Vera and Steve Bodansky’s 2000 book of the same name, and is similar to the Venus Butterfly technique used in the volume The One Hour Orgasm (1988) by Leah and Bob Schwartz.

In a two-person sexual activity, one partner would stimulate the other, gradually bringing them up to the point high in the plateau phase where an orgasm is actually building, and will then reduce the level of stimulation to just below that needed to trigger the orgasm. By carefully varying the intensity and speed of stimulation, and by practising with the same partner to learn their responses, a person can be held in the highly aroused state near orgasm. This process may be repeated as desired, but at some point repetition may cause the urge to orgasm to become overwhelming. When a partner eventually provides enough stimulation to achieve an orgasm, it may be stronger than usual due to the increased tension and arousal that builds up during the extended stimulation.

Since orgasm control prolongs the experience of powerful sexual sensations occurring during the final build-up to orgasm, the physical demands of being kept or keeping oneself in this highly excited state for an extended time can induce a pleasurable, almost euphoric state, and at times creates changes within an individual’s perceived consciousness.

Orgasm Denial

Orgasm denial is a sexual practice in which a person is kept in the plateau phase of the human sexual response cycle for an extended length of time. This is often done as part of a BDSM game. Depending on the nature of the game, they may be allowed an orgasm at the end (in which case, the orgasm is generally much stronger than normal), or deliberately denied one, either by deflation (in a male) or by granting only a ruined orgasm, in which case they will generally feel strong feelings of sexual frustration and submission.

An alternative form of orgasm denial is erotic sexual denial, the prevention of genital stimulation, either for an extended period or separate from a scene. One form of erotic sexual denial is the reduction or deprivation of all genital stimulation. To ensure a complete absence of genital stimulation, a chastity device may be used as a physical barrier to genital touch or full erection.

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5 responses to “Orgasm Control”

  1. Cadionagi

    My wife and I have been trying out male chastity & denial for a little more than a month. It was initially my idea but after the initial comfort adjustment period I have been getting 4-5 day release. Currently I am under lock and key for 9 days (some bad behavior on my part) and I am really struggling (used to jack-off daily). I got angry towards her due to my pent up frustration and she also caught me viewing porn on the web and this has made her very angry and she said she will not release me for at least one more month! I love her but I fear that I can not make it. She agreed to let me ask you if you think she is being to harsh, the total denial period will be about 45 days.

  2. bo

    I think it might be easier if you do not think so much about the 45 days. You say you feel it is too harsh..but is it just the thought of being in for so long that makes you say that. Or do your really feel panicky in your body about it. I think if you could relax and just go with the flow unless it comes to a point where your body is feeling panicked. Idk if that made sense gl

  3. StopMETAL

    I am currently training my submissive to cum only when I finally push it in. All the while leading up to it, I bring her close to her climax and just before she cums, I pull away. Though I’m running out of ideas how to do this and I want to train her even further. Does anyone have any suggestions or advice how I can successfully do this? Thank you in advance.

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