Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Kayla Lords

Kayla Lords
Submissive in a long-term, loving D/s relationship. Sex blogger. Erotica author. Writer. Kinky woman....And so much more.

Articles

Ask Submissive Guide – Showing Submissiveness as a Little

Ask Submissive Guide – Showing Submissiveness as a Little

Dear Submissive Guide, I am a little girl and have a wonderful Daddy Dom. How else can I show my submissiveness in a little girl way without falling into total servitude and then becoming more like a slave? Thank you,His Little Girl Dear LG, I think your question is one that crosses plenty of submissive’s [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
Ask Submissive Guide – New to Poly and Kink

Ask Submissive Guide – New to Poly and Kink

Dear lunaKM, I am new to the lifestyle, and have never had a true Dom. However, now there is a Dom that has shown interest in me, alongside his current submissive/fiancee. While it would be a long distance relationship (LDR), I am interested in the offer, but unsure as how to pursue. To give a [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
Ask Submissive Guide – Teased With No Relief

Ask Submissive Guide – Teased With No Relief

Dear SG, My Dominant has a habit of teasing me without any following ‘relief’. He will get my motor running and then leave me all riled up. He gets busy with something else. Sometimes this teasing can go on for weeks, even months because of his busy lifestyle. How can I cope with the frustration?! [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
Ask Anything – Am I Too Clingy for Submission?

Ask Anything – Am I Too Clingy for Submission?

Dear Submissive Guide, I’m feeling confused about service, sub drop, and my emotions. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years now. He is my first Master and I am his first sub but we did explore these sides of ourselves very early on into our relationship. Right away I felt that [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
Ask Anything – Letting Him Know I’m Committed to Him

Ask Anything – Letting Him Know I’m Committed to Him

Dear Submissive Guide, I am finally at ease with my Daddy Dom, ready to move on in our relationship, giving him my trust which has been hard for me, because of past abuses. Even thinking of myself as ‘little” for him was hard at first. But I so enjoy the simple nature of the relationship. [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Beginner Basics
Ask Submissive Guide – Being Transgender and Public BDSM Play

Ask Submissive Guide – Being Transgender and Public BDSM Play

Dear Submissive Guide, I’m new to the scene and realizing I’m very interested in submission and masochism. I’m also gay and transgender (an FtM who is attracted to men). I’m gearing up the courage to go to a play party, and while I might not play at my first one I will want to play [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Play and Sex
Ask Submissive Guide – Finding a Dominant

Ask Submissive Guide – Finding a Dominant

Dear Submissive Guide, How do I find a Dom? I know I want to be a sub but I’m lost, I don’t know how to find a Dom and live the way I want to. Sincerely,Looking for a Dom  Hey there! You’ve asked a question that every single submissive asks themselves at some point: Where [...]

3 comments Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
Ask Submissive Guide – He Cheated and I’m Not Over It Yet

Ask Submissive Guide – He Cheated and I’m Not Over It Yet

Hello SG, I’m struggling with a problem that has been following me for quite some time now. My Dominant and I have been through hell and high water, involving ‘light’ cheating (sexting each other, meeting up, but did not have sex) while I was away on holiday with family. This was almost a year ago. [...]

2 comments Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
BDSM and Kids: How Your Kink May Change Over the Years

BDSM and Kids: How Your Kink May Change Over the Years

Ask a new parent, kinky or not, about their sex life, and they’ll probably say, “What sex life?” When you’re only getting a couple hours of sleep at a time or feeding a baby around the clock, sex is usually the last thing on your mind. While D/s relationships tend to have more communication about [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Relationships
BDSM and Kids: When Kids Ask Awkward Questions

BDSM and Kids: When Kids Ask Awkward Questions

With kids, it’s inevitable that they’re going to ask questions that make you want to curl up into a ball, cover your ears, and sing, “La-la-la, I can’t hear you!” This isn’t a kink thing, it’s a parent thing. However, as a kinkster, there’s a chance that, eventually, they’ll see or hear something and ask [...]

1 comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Relationships
BDSM and Kids: Getting Kinky With Kids Around

BDSM and Kids: Getting Kinky With Kids Around

When someone asks me how it’s possible to be kinky when you have kids, I know they’re imagining that it must be difficult to have a scene, enjoy kinky sex, or do anything remotely kinky as a parent. It’s not impossible to get kinky, but it requires creativity and discipline. It also depends on how [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Relationships
BDSM and Kids: Handling the Role of Parent and Submissive

BDSM and Kids: Handling the Role of Parent and Submissive

As a submissive who has to interact with the outside world whether that’s work, family, or going to the grocery store, you already know that it can be hard to switch back and forth between roles and expectations. Frankly, after a long week of being my vanilla self, I’m exhausted, cranky, and usually feeling not-so-submissive. [...]

1 comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Relationships
BDSM and Kids: Can You Be a Parent and a Kinkster?

BDSM and Kids: Can You Be a Parent and a Kinkster?

When I talk about my life as a kinkster, I talk about being a parent of two kids. It shocks a lot of people to know I’m in a 24/7 D/s relationship and a parent. A lot of people ask, “How can you be a parent and a submissive?” I always imagine there’s a bit [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Relationships
Ask Submissive Guide – My Dominant Says and Does Things I Didn’t Agree To

Ask Submissive Guide – My Dominant Says and Does Things I Didn’t Agree To

Dear Submissive Guide, In May I met a wonderful Dom online. We talked on the phone every night and I was over the moon for him. He was the first to say I love you and my self-protect wall started to melt. In my dating profile, I was explicit about not wanting to relocate because [...]

1 comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
Ask Anything – Feeling Insecure

Ask Anything – Feeling Insecure

Dear Submissive Guide, I am a sub and I have an amazing Master. He is loving, caring, respectful and just everything a sub could ask for. He collared me 6 months ago and we moved in together 2 months ago. We get along great in every area so far. The problem is this, lately, I’ve [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
Ask Submissive Guide: How Do I Help My Dom Give Me What I Need

Ask Submissive Guide: How Do I Help My Dom Give Me What I Need

Hi SG, I’m relatively experienced when it comes to submission. I’ve submitted in play to a number of delightful Dommes and pushed my boundaries nicely over the years.  I’ve never had a long term D’s relationship, though. I’m just entering into a relationship with a lady who is highly sexed and thoroughly enjoying the power. [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything, Relationships
Ask Anything: Handling the Vanilla Side of Things

Ask Anything: Handling the Vanilla Side of Things

Dear Submissive Guide, So, I am totally a newbie. I do have a Master but due to our personal/vanilla lives, it is limited & very part-time. My Master has not participated in the lifestyle for 12 years. My question is do you have any info on transitioning from submissive side back to my vanilla? We [...]

Leave a comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
Ask Anything: My Master Wants to Have Sex With Other People

Ask Anything: My Master Wants to Have Sex With Other People

Dear Submissive Guide, Is it normal for your Master to want to play and have sex with others? Sincerely,Curious Dear Curious, I could give you the glib answer and say, “There’s no such thing as normal” but that doesn’t help you much, does it? Do some people, Dominant or submissive, want to have open relationships [...]

1 comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
Ask Submissive Guide: Fisting Fail and Sexual Injury

Ask Submissive Guide: Fisting Fail and Sexual Injury

Dear Submissive Guide, I have recently entered into a D/s relationship with a man that I’ve had an on/off sexual relationship with for 10 years. I would describe or sexual encounters up to now as vanilla, but intense and occasionally mildly aggressive. But we both have an interest in D/s, he has experience, I don’t. [...]

1 comment Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
Ask Submissive Guide: New to D/s and LDR

Ask Submissive Guide: New to D/s and LDR

Dear SG, Me and my boyfriend have been talking about this. He’s convincing me into it. We haven’t experienced anything yet. I’m new at this, he’s a dominant. But he’s leaving for 9 months deployment and I don’t know how to do this long distance relationship. Sincerely,New to D/s Dear New to D/s, I’m sorry [...]

8 comments Posted by Kayla Lords | Posted in: Ask Anything
Page 1 of 3123

Take Steps to Improve Your Submission with a Subguide eBook:Shop Now!