Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

kallista

kallista
Kallista is an English teacher and author; she and her Dom dated for a year before they made the choice to begin actively exploring the D/s aspects that had begun to take shape in their relationship.

Articles

Wax Play Review and Thoughts

Wax Play Review and Thoughts

Let’s share a few, quick, thoughts and bits of advice if you’ve been toying with the idea of adding wax to your toy chest. Explore what wax play is and isn’t, types of wax that are safe to use for this type of play and the variety of ways to go about it!

2 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: BDSM Fundamentals, Play and Sex
6 Important Activities to Include in Your Aftercare Routine

6 Important Activities to Include in Your Aftercare Routine

For as important as after care is, it’s really easy to overlook or misinterpret what your aftercare routine should consist of, regardless of the scenes you’re practicing. Here are six easy activities you can add to your routine for smoother transitions after scenes.

1 comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Play and Sex
Thinking About Financial Dependency in Your D/s Dynamic?

Thinking About Financial Dependency in Your D/s Dynamic?

If you’re currently thinking about becoming financially dependent on your Dom, kallista shares her thoughts on the subject and how it can impact more than your relationship. Learn the risks.

Leave a comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Relationships
Create SMART Goals For Your New Year’s Resolutions and Reach Your Goals This Year!

Create SMART Goals For Your New Year’s Resolutions and Reach Your Goals This Year!

SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Agreed upon, Realistic, Time-based tasks that we set for ourselves with the intent of realizing a larger task. We call them goals, but in the end, what we want from our resolutions is less about making and achieving goals and more about making habits.

1 comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Submitting While One of You is Sick

Submitting While One of You is Sick

One of the strangest full time submitting challenges that I’ve found is dealing with your role as a submissive when either you or your Dom is ill. So how do you cope when one of you is ill?

2 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Relationships
Bullet Journal: BDSM Scene Reflection Spreads

Bullet Journal: BDSM Scene Reflection Spreads

Using your bullet journal to create scene reflection spreads is a great way to cement memories and your own feelings of the play you engage in. Here are two spread designs that you could use.

Leave a comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Personal Growth
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 21: Your First Blog Post

31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 21: Your First Blog Post

You’ve made the decision that you’re going to keep a blog, you’ve picked your host, you’ve designed your site, and now it comes down to the writing. But what in the world do you write? I’ll give you all the details.

31 Days to Submissive Journaling – Day 14: Finding Your Voice

31 Days to Submissive Journaling – Day 14: Finding Your Voice

Finding your voice is a lot like finding your inner muse. Kallista helps you with solid, proven steps to make your words strong and express your personality on your blog.

Submissive Journals: Bullet/Analogue Journal Review

Submissive Journals: Bullet/Analogue Journal Review

Developed by Ryder Carroll, the idea of analog/bullet journaling is kind of elegant in its simplicity. You have one notebook. Everything goes in that notebook. So what can you put in it that’s related to submission?

2 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
The Art of Apology: Receiving an apology when you don’t think one is necessary

The Art of Apology: Receiving an apology when you don’t think one is necessary

Maybe you know a frequent apologizer, or maybe you’ve been surprised, but at some point in your life, you’ve probably had someone tell you, “Hey, I’m sorry!” and your immediate response was, “What on earth are you apologizing for?”

Leave a comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Relationships
The Art of Apology: Receiving an Apology

The Art of Apology: Receiving an Apology

Saying the wrong thing after someone has apologized to you can make the person apologize feel like you’re dismissing their attempt to make things right between the pair of you.

Leave a comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
The Art of Apology: Don’t Over Apologize

The Art of Apology: Don’t Over Apologize

We tend to use sorry for a lot of different situations, but we’ve gone well past the point where our use of the word actually matches the meaning.

Leave a comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
The Art of Apology: How to Apologize

The Art of Apology: How to Apologize

Once you know that you owe someone an apology, you’ve got to know how to apologize.

2 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Personal Growth
The Art of Apology: Knowing When to Apologize

The Art of Apology: Knowing When to Apologize

How do you know when you owe someone an apology? Continuing kallista’s series on apologizing with knowing when an apology is necessary.

Leave a comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
The Art of Apology: The Importance of Apologizing

The Art of Apology: The Importance of Apologizing

Apologizing to someone lets that person know that you care more for them than you do for the outcome of a disagreement; being able to recognize when we’re wrong—or having someone else recognize that they were wrong—can give closure to situations that might otherwise continue to have a negative impact on the relationship.

Leave a comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Reacting to Change in D/s Dynamics

Reacting to Change in D/s Dynamics

How does adapting to changing interests and your growth as an individual fit into your D/s relationship?

4 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Why SSC and RACK Are Both Important Safety Acronyms to Know

Why SSC and RACK Are Both Important Safety Acronyms to Know

The mantra “Safe, Sane, Consensual” (SSC) is probably one of the first things that someone new to the scene learns. RACK stands for two principles designed to give you the opportunity to move outside of your current comfort zones, into a place of interest.

1 comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Ornamental Value: A Reflection on My Submissive Style

Ornamental Value: A Reflection on My Submissive Style

Living with my Dom for a longer period of time has allowed us to develop some rough routines and expectations that we’ll continue to develop as time progresses, and these have begun to help me form answers to the questions that I’ve been asking on and off from the beginning of my submission.

1 comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Explain It To Me: The Draw of Being Spanked

Explain It To Me: The Draw of Being Spanked

Despite being commonplace in kinky relationships, explaining the appeal of being spanked to someone who is new to the scene or curious about it can be difficult.

17 comments Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
Self-Esteem/Grooming Series Concludes: Accepting Comments and Compliments

Self-Esteem/Grooming Series Concludes: Accepting Comments and Compliments

Simply put, our ability to graciously accept compliments, and to positively disregard negative comments, can tailor the way that people interact with us.

Leave a comment Posted by kallista | Posted in: Beginner Basics
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