It's no secret that 50 Shades of Gray is a huge media success. It's brought about fame for the author and attracted many people to the theaters to see the film adaptation. But it has also brought curious people to this site and many like it for answers and exploration. Many people first get introduced to BDSM via media. Books, movies and tv shows are beginning to describe kink in a variety of manners and just enough to titillate you but not teach you how to do this in your own bedroom. While I would never directly copy anything you read in a book of fiction or from TV and films, it is a great starting point for conversation and potential kinky fun in the bedroom. Maybe even a complete relationship shift.

So, you've come here looking for how to make those fantasies and hot stories something real; something you can experience for yourself. Let's try to get your training wheels in place so you can go into your first conversation and foray into hot kinky sex with open eyes.

Safety First

It may go without saying far too often, but many of the things we do as far as kink in the bedroom has risks. Often not just physical ones, as some play has mental and emotional minefields. Taking the time to learn some basic safety in the form of Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC) and a safeword will go a long way to making your play safer and you'll be more aware of the risks.

Start Small

Movies have teams of experts and lots of editing to get things looking the way they do. You need to learn things a bit slower. Try one new activity or toy at a time and don't expect it to be perfect the first time. It's about the journey in exploration, not making it look like it does in your head or on the screen.

Decide on your Roles

Who is going to be the bottom and the top? How will you know the start and end of playtime. Roleplay, mini ritual. Phrases and words you can use to enhance your playtime experience.

Get Yourself Some Resources

If you don't feel comfortable experimenting without some information to back it up, here are some excellent resources to get you started on.

Ready for some Kit?

Once you've learned what you can without toys, you may want to get some basic cuffs or a paddle. They aren't necessary, of course, to have a great time, but they do add to your kink buffet choices.  Here's some tips and ideas for your first toys and how to care for them to keep them playing for you for a long time.

Hopefully, with these tips and links you'll be well prepared to start exploring those fantasies and heating up your sex life with kinky play. If you've browsed these links and can't find an answer to your question then use the comment section below and the community here will try to help you out!