Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Mrs. Darling is the lady of what appears to be a traditionally old-fashioned household: a homemaker and doting mother and wife with her husband off working to bring home the bacon. Aspiring to be an all around domestic goddess, she focuses her energy on cooking, baking, crafting, sewing, and being the idealized 1950’s housewife. Each evening, when the house is quiet, Mrs. Darling hangs up her apron in exchange for a slave collar. She is living in a “Modern Day 1950’s M/s (Master/slave) household.” Along with her Master, known in writing as MR (Mister), she is on a mission to educate the general population about what an M/s household can really look like. She can be contacted directly at

3 responses to “Tips For Those Struggling to Enter the Local BDSM Community”

  1. sir dom

    is there a fine line between domination and abuse? when and how is this defined? i understand that there should be lots of communication and there are hard and limits but, when does it stop being fun? is it wise to fully give yourself to someone and let them dictate what you wear, eat, go etc. I can kinda the freedom of someone taking some resposibility from you can be liberating in some way, but is that healthy to be totally reliant on someone making decisions for you? We should all have the choice to choose what we want and not let anyone make decisions for you. If BDSM is your kink then keep it to the bedroom and not let it interfer with your independant life.

  2. lunaKM

    Your opinion, of course, but D/s is my relationship dynamic, BDSM is in the bedroom. Check out the posts on this site and others on what the difference is between BDSM and abuse, but the basic line is consent. When you cross consent, you could be entering an abusive relationship.

    Sure we all have the choice to do what we want, what I want is for my Master to govern those things that you call freedoms. It doesn’t make me any less responsible for myself. I’m not reliant on him making those decisions. I consent that he make those decisions in my best interest.

  3. nem

    There is absolutely a line and it’s, in my opinion, drawn with pre-agreed on safe words that slow or stop play. Even in a pure 24/7 Master/slave relationship Masters cannot read mind nor always interpret their slave’s emotional or physical response. They must rely on their slave/submissive to let them know when it’s not safe. If your Master doesn’t let you use them, then your both risk real abuse. Proceed with caution.

    My Dom and I recently formalized our relationship but the negotiations for those contractual terms had taken years of our experimenting with this lifestyle. As the submissive I wrote in that I have no right of refusal to my Dom’s commands beyond those specified in the contract and my safe words and that misuse – using them just because I didn’t want to obey, not because my physical or emotional safety were at issue – was punishable, LATER, after we were out of that highly-charged environment. He counts on me to use them. For the sake of our long term relationship. Yes that is hard for me because when my head is in that space I usually only want to please and obey him. It makes me happy. To not use safe words is a betrayal of the trust he places in me.

    The premise, for us, is that I accept my Dom’s decisions, not that I agree with them or want to them or that I will have fun, which is irrelevant. It also presumes that he doesn’t have to justify his decisions or actions. Do we discuss it later – yes. For this to work I have had to accept that the things he makes me do will make me a better, more fully actualized person. I’ve learned so much about myself. I would never have risked testing my boundaries without his direction. He’s given me the courage to acknowledge core needs, some I didn’t even know I had. Has he been wrong? Yes. But no more often than I.

    Of course, we’re not 24/7. The D/s roles are ones we assume when he commands it. The rest of the time we have control of our lives. Even within the D/s relationship there are many choices I need to make, have to make to function. I’m such an independent take charge type in the non D/s world that I doubt if I could do this 24/7. That’s something I have to evaluate, not just one time, but over and over as I and our relationships grow and change.

    Each person is the only one that can decide if what they gain from their relationship meets or exceeds the price. Negotiate if you can. Leave if you have to.

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