Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

My name is AndyIccee. I have been practicing S&M for almost 3 years, and my Master and I transitioned to full time D/s about six months ago. I am currently still in school, I am working towards a PhD in Psychology with a focus on Women's Advocacy, Domestic Abuse, and Sexual Assault. I hope to become a professor!

One response to “When Needs Change: How Communication Worked When My Partner Didn’t Want to Be Dominant Anymore”

  1. Keith Smith

    Hi there. I have a very good relationship with my Dominant. She may well be shocked if she knew that I was referring to her as my Dominant. She would probably tell me that she is not my Dominant. We have lovely, intense Impact Play at a BDSM Play Party which we both attend on a monthly to six weekly basis.

    The relationship that we do have is on the basis of mutual respect. I respect her and she respects me. Usually, as she has tonight, she sends me a Private Message on Fetlife inquiring if I am well and intend coming to the upcoming Event. She tells me if she is playing with anyone else as well as me, as indeed she is on this Sunday night. She also asks and hopes if I am in for a beating. Good communication is vital in a Dom/sub or Top/bottom relationship. Last Munch I had a concern that she may be spending too much time with me even though I really loved the attention. My concern was that I was monopolising her time and that she did not have time to see other people without me being present. She very clearly told me that that was no concern for me and that she did give me time away from her. I am thrilled that at Play Party I am under her control. The whole of the Play Party and not just our specific intense play session once I have seen her becomes the time that I am under her control. I find this for me very liberating. Last Play Party I was led around the venue on a leash which was a new experience for me and one which I really enjoyed. She is talking about a chain so I guess on Sunday I may find out what that involves. Prior to that Party I had seen other subs being led around on a leash but had no personal experience of. She knows my needs and desires – very hard Impact Play and she meets those needs and desires. It works out so well as she is a Sadist and enjoys imparting hard Impact Play. I gather that the other people she plays with do not have as high a pain threshold as I have. I still find this quite hard to take in as I see how she plays with others and wince when I observe the, to me, very hard strokes. She tells others after she has played with me that I do not realise how hard she is with me. I do accept that as a fact as my mind is in a different place during our session, I try very hard to bear up under the intense strokes and must admit that truly I do not know what particular implement is being used on much of the time. I am aware when the Sjambok is used on me as that has a particularly hard intensity to it.

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