Dear luna,

My question to you is it ok to be submissive and still make money for the family? My local social norm is the man makes the money and the female is the housewife. However, my Master hates 'cookie cutter salary jobs' as he calls them. So at the moment, I am the one with the job and its hard to explain to family and friends. Is it ok to see this as a way to service my master since it is something he hates? Also if you have advice on explaining this to family and friends it would be nice.

Thank you!

Hi there,

Being submissive isn't connected to your work personality. The majority of submissives have jobs and earn money, many are sole breadwinners or the head breadwinner. Working does not mean you can't be submissive.  You can also consider this as service to your partner and relationship if you wish - there's nothing wrong with thinking of it that way if it helps you.

Does your partner do things for the relationship that brings in things other than money? Are they budget conscious, do the cleaning, take care of the house or otherwise be productive while you work? I would personally have issues with someone who had no desire to work or be productive. See I don't work, but I don't just sit around all day either. The household chores are my work. If I had children, that would be my job as well. Protecting and budgeting for the money coming in would also be productive for a non-employed person. Are there non-traditional jobs he can do?

Explaining it to your family is something entirely different. First, why do you have to explain why you are working and he isn't? Are they concerned that he's not being productive in the relationship and you are working harder than you should? If he appears lazy around family then you have to reassure him that he works hard in the relationship doing other things. What you could do is relieve their concerns about that in whatever way works for you and then respectfully tell them that you are happy with the way the relationship is set up but you thank them for their concern.

No one likes nosey family, but often you just have to keep repeating the same thing over and over until they leave you alone.