Dear lunaKM,
I was in a happy D/s relationship with my husband for some time, but because of family problems the D/s part was missing a bit recently. Now that all problems are gone I find it extremely difficult to get back in that headspace I had before. Is there something, that could help me?
-needs headspace
Hi there,
I understand how hard it can be to come back to D/s after a break.
First, I hope you've talked with your husband about wanting to get back into the D/s and if he hasn't taken on his Dom role again then it will be even harder for you to pick up submission again. Approach him about it when he has nothing else going on so that he can focus on you and the concerns you have. Don't bring it up during bedtime or sexy times. If you have to, schedule it like a family meeting of sorts.
After you've talked to him, and he's back to his Dominant self if you are still having problems, ask him for help keeping you in your place. It can even be a part of your play or a new ritual.
So, once that's all been established, how can you work to get your headspace back on your own? Well it really does depend on how your submission manifests but some things that might work are mantras, slowing things down, journaling and patience.
Yeah, about that patience thing. You never mentioned how long ago the stress and problems were, but you have to give each of you time to fall back into the comfortable rhythm of the day and your relationship.
Other articles on the site about recovering the headspace:
Regaining Submissive Mindspace through Ritual by nan{SL}
Leaving Work at the Door: How to Find the Mindset Once You Are Both Home
The Things I Carry That Help My Submission
by tequilarose
Ask lunaKM – A Disconnect with Submission
Everyone Needs a Break, Right – Do you Break from Submission?
Capturing That Elusive Submissive Mindset
by tequilarose
