Question 2:

So I kinda would like to explore bigger toys in my butt, but you hear all these myths. Like, if you go too big you'll make your butthole so loose you become incontinent and other gross stuff. Is this true?

No.

In fact, just like the vagina, the muscles in the anus are incredibly elastic and will stretch to accommodate objects much larger than you'd think possible, and then shrink back to their original size.

Provided you do it right.

You can seriously injure yourself and cause damage if you don't do it right.

Proof positive of the elasticity of the anus is my practically virgin ass.

Years ago, I was really into butt play. I wore plugs pretty regularly, and for long periods of time. I fucked my ass with dildos while M watched. I bought glass plugs that were at least two inches in diameter and spent an hour or more at night warming up and inserting them. And, of course, M fucked my ass as often as he wanted.

Then I developed Irritable Bowel Syndrome (completely unrelated to my anal play), which makes anal play a little...dirtier than one would like. I mean, we're not, at all, into scat, so...you know.

These days, me using a plug is super rare. I stick to plugs with a diameter of 1-1.5 inches, and they've gotta be silicone. It sometimes takes me 20 minutes or more to insert them, and it requires lots and lots of lube and patience.

And boy, does my anus show it.

Insertion of plugs that are not squishy (and penises, because they aren't as tapered as most plugs) can be a little painful and take a really long time. Of course, if your feeling pain when you insert something, your butt isn't ready for it. This doesn't mean never, it just means not right this second. You may even be ready for it in a few minutes, rather than a few months. So I eventually get them in without pain, it just takes awhile. The muscles of my anus have obviously returned to their original size.

So it's like this:

The muscle that controls urination also controls defecation. So the muscle that controls contractions in your anus is the same muscle you isolate when you kegel, so just like the vagina, the anus stretches to accommodate large things and then shrinks back to normal size when the large thing has passed. This is one of the reasons men should kegel, too.

Something about a figure eight, and a muscular sling, and...I don't know. I took biology and anatomy in 1998. It's one of those things. I know how it works, but I suck at describing it. I just know that exercising this muscle can prevent issues down the road like rectal incontinence or prolapse.

Here are some folks who did a better job of explaining this than I can: