I'm absolutely terrified of BDSM. But I'm extremely aroused by the thought of a man bending me over his knee, pulling down my pants, and spanking me. Ease my mind? Thank you.

Hello terrified,

There is a huge world of kinky things inside that little acronym. I can certainly understand why you are scared. But here's my small bit of sunshine for you.

You don't have to like it all. You don't even have to like some of it. If but one thing is what excites you, then find someone to do that with and leave the rest alone! There is a huge community of spanking enthusiasts that all they have an interest in is spanking. It sounds like you just might fit in with them and can close the big scary door of BDSM altogether.

Here are a few resources for the spanking community. You'll see they are a step apart from BDSM and many don't like associating what they enjoy doing with BDSM at all.

• The quintessential site is My Bottom Smarts. It's a blog for spanking enthusiasts by a spanking enthusiast. Bonnie recently stopped posting, but there are still a lot of good articles there to help you on your way.
• A G+ community called Bare Bottom Spanking looks to be lively.
• There's a good book on spanking called Consensual Spanking by Jules Markham and covers adding spanking to your relationship.
• FetLife Groups on spanking: OTK Spanking, A Sound Spanking!, Our Need and Desire Spanking Group and about 950 more groups focused on Spanking.

--lunaKM