Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

lunaKM has been a full-time slave in an M/s relationship for over 10 years. She is the founder and editor of Submissive Guide. Learn more about her here and connect with her on, Twitter, Google+, FetLife.

2 responses to “Using Your Safeword Is Not a Sign of Failure”

  1. karnagesgirl

    I loved reading this. because I feel so bad when using my safe word. when things seem like they get too much my bf asks me my color. i’ve used my red safe word once. It wasnt a bad thing, things just got intense, and play didnt stop it just shifted to a less intense situation. I needed this reminder that my safe word (my colors) are there to help me not to hurt me or make me feel guilt.

  2. passion

    When playing with a Dom, I used my safe word. I stunned myself feeling like a failure. But that only lasted for a few seconds. Play stopped immediately. The Dom immediately gave me solace and told me he expected it as he pushed my limits, noted the change in my demeanor. I repress pain from years of conditioning not to show pain if that makes sense and went to being quite verbal. Praised me for using safe word and never be afraid off using it, it does not mean failure. Stated he knows that he can trust me when we do have playtime.

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