Dear Annie:

I am a submissive to my Master for about a year now.  We are engaged and I introduced him to the lifestyle immediately.  We are planning on getting married October 3rd of this year. Since we have both been married before we are going to either elope or just go to the courthouse.  Here's the thing, we were actually thinking of trying to find a private ceremony which implemented the D/s lifestyle into it. I have already been collared by my Master and have a contract.  But we would really like to do something else because the lifestyle is 24/7 and very important in our lives.  Do you have any suggestions for a ceremony or ideas that would help us?  Are there places we could officially get married in a special ceremony that made our marriage official?  We are very serious and if that is not possible we would like to still do something unofficially that sealed our D/s relationship. Thank you SubChelle

Dear SubChelle,

Congratulations on your impending wedding! I'm sure you are very excited for this next milestone in your relationship and the joy of years ahead full of love and happiness.

The beauty of a private ceremony is that you can have a celebrant customize the wedding to your tastes and there are all sorts of people that have registered online to become a wedding officiant. Depending on where you live this could be a legal option for you. Your best friend could even do it for you! But if an online ordination isn't preferred there are still options.

During a celebrant interview, tell them that you'd like to perform rituals or symbolism ceremonies that may not be mainstream or that are unique to you and your relationship.  Most will work with you to customize your wedding to your preferences. Things like applying a special collar during the wedding, tattoos or brands are unique but more common now and special personal vows also work. Small things work too. I had "to obey" re-added to the vows I was given. Other ideas that I thought about before my marriage was curtsying to KM after arriving at the end of the isle. I wore my collar with my dress. Handfasting is a common way to incorporate a bonding ceremony. Anything you wish to do can be added if your celebrant agrees to it.

As to where you can get married legally that's up to your local laws. Some allow outdoor wedding while others require them to be only in specific venues. You should contact your county courthouse and ask about marriage laws to find out if they have limitations.

Remember though that the people you invite to the wedding might not be in the know and so they won't understand what you are doing. You'll have to come up with some explanation if you aren't ready to come out about your lifestyle choices to them.

Good luck planning your wedding and enjoy your day!

--lunaKM