Heya! I’m a martial artist (aikido/ jujitsu) and a sub. I am strongly attracted to my Dom despite his lack of fitness, however whenever he holds me down I can easily push him off if I want to, etc. Even tied up I can often escape. I have no wish to be a brat, but even gentle testing of (physical) boundaries results in me winning and I don’t want to - I want to submit. How do I get physical dominance from him when I am so much physically stronger?

Good question! What I’d suggest is two-fold.

First, have him learn quick ties like  Hojojutsu, pressure points and stress holds. They require very little physical strength to bring down people. It could definitely give him an upper hand when you feel the need to push on his physical strength. Other options would be for him to enter the same classes that you are trained in and learn some of what you know. If you are familiar with self-defense classes often directed to women you know there are ways to get the upper hand when you are faced with a larger/stronger enemy. If he learned some of those tricks it could help keep him in control physically and you’d have fewer outs.

Second, figure out why you are testing his physical strength when it’s clear you have the training necessary to avoid most forms of pinning. It’s obvious that you want to be with him for some reason other than his physical strength and ability so find a way to surrender your control that isn’t physical. Some of the most powerful submission comes from the mind and heart and can lay you immobile with just a word. Submit to him because you can, not because he can make you.