HOW do you get a Dominant Master to lean on you!? They think they have to be Strong and Masterly all the time (even when you remind them you are their slave to serve them and hear their worries) so when they need help they won’t go to you, their slave, even though a slave is there to help, because they think Doms shouldn’t need help ??

I can’t imagine how frustrating this has to be for you. But I do have to say this is more a guy thing than specific to Dominants. Men are taught by society that they need to be tough and take care of their problems themselves. How many jokes do you think there are where the punchline is something like, “and he wouldn’t ask for directions!”

It’s not easy to rewrite social programming but it can be done. Bad news though, you can’t do it for them. No matter how many times you tell them that you are there for them to talk to and lean against, they have to accept for themselves that they can show weakness and fear.

Part of what a partner needs to do and keep doing is making their male partner feel safe and secure with whatever is bothering them. Sharing vulnerability is hard to accept no matter what gender you are. Instead of pressing them to reveal their issues, let them know that you are there to listen and create the space they need to work through their thoughts.

Give them the shoulder they need without constantly asking them what the problem is, or that you can help them, berating them for keeping their issues to themselves and making them feel forced to open up about something they feel is private.

You’ve reminded them that you are there to serve and be their ear and that’s as far as you can go without pushing yourself on them. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is also the hardest. Just be their rock. Continue to serve them as they require, don’t intentionally get on their bad side and show them that routine and ritual still remains with your relationship and the dynamic. Sometimes, when things seem to be falling down around you, having that constant comfortable presence is a gift.

The world is pressuring them with stress and angst. Learn to be patient with them and when the time is right they will learn that they can open up to you.

Good luck.