I have recently gone through sub drop for the first time. It was frightening for me.  I’m usually pretty good at keeping my emotions together and I have a good head on my shoulders.  For the first time ever I felt completely out of control with my emotions.  I was scared.   My Dom was supportive via texting but not face to face.  A new sub is in the picture.  I asked for some alone time but he already has prior commitments.  Now that my head is on straight and I’m feeling better I’m having some negative feelings toward my Dom.  During I felt like if I could just feel his touch then my world would stop spinning but he didn’t make time for me.  Is it normal to feel this way?  I’m confused.

First, whenever someone asks if it’s normal to feel anything, the answer is going to be yes. You feel a certain way and it’s perfectly acceptable to feel it.

But I understand more that the question is should you feel that way based on the situation you presented me, and that’s a bit iffier.  Sub drop affects people in different ways and at least you knew to call out to someone for support. Your Dom provided you what support he could; perhaps he really couldn’t drop his prior engagements to be with you. That’s okay too.

In situations like this I would suggest you have a surrogate; a friend or other submissive that you can call up and spend time with to help you deal with the emotions of sub drop. Your Dominant isn’t the only one who can help you get through it.

Now as to whether you feel like he doesn’t make time for you, does this happen regularly? Are your needs in other areas not being fulfilled? Is this a way for your mind to bring something to the surface that you’ve been neglecting? Or is this overreaction due to the mess of emotions that sub drop brings. Only you can answer that.

—lunaKM