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lunaKM has been a full-time slave in an M/s relationship for over 10 years. She is the founder and editor of Submissive Guide. Learn more about her here and connect with her on, Twitter, Google+, FetLife.

9 responses to “Why That Dominant You Found Online Just Disappeared After a Short Time”

  1. Nacht Engel

    Of course for almost everyone of those scenarios there will be those dominants who follow through on their promise and don’t just disappear. Obviously you should be circumspect about givin away your real identity, compromising images, address or god forbid financial details but in many cases this is how real relationships form.

    For example I do enjoy “naive slaves”. But not because I want to corrupt and then cast them aside. But simply because every Master/dom worthy of the name is not just someone who applies dominance by the book but wants to do things in his own preferred style. I prefer not to have to fight against years of some else’s conditioning and protocols to have to undo all those expectations and assumptions which may or may not coincide with mine. One thing I cannot abide is having a slave start behaving in away her previous Master required even when instructed not to. It is far more satisfactory to start with a blank canvas and have some one adapt to my precise needs. That is not something I would ever want or have to cast aside. It is far too valuable for that. Also there is the magic of being the first person to work wth a potential sub and see the joy of her realising her full potential for the 1st time.

    So although I agree disappearing doms might very well approach you in this way I think it important to be clear that just because you recognise that approach in no way indicates that they are going to vanish in a puff of blue smoke.

  2. Nacht Engel

    Furthermore nearly everyone of those scenarios works both ways. Disappearing subs are just as common if not more so. The bored married housewife, the horny single girl, the cocktease who never intends to put out. Unfortunately people are often dishonest, fantasists or don’t fulfil their promise for a whole variety of reasons but it is not exclusive preserve of the male or the dominant. And neither is is limited to the internet. You hear just as many such stories of unfulfilled promise and no shows after people meet at events or in non kink. It’s just human nature.

  3. Nacht Engel

    I understand you have a particular audience. I just wanted to make the point that dominants are part of the overall spectrum of humanity and not a separate species ;-).

  4. gingersnap

    I myself have met several Dominants on-line and some of the things you mentioned in your article are very true. Anyone should be careful when it comes to starting a relationship with someone they haven’t met. On the other hand, I have had the pleasure of knowing many great people after meeting on-line including my present Dominant of over a year. It is unfair to portray a group of people because some turn out to be liars, cheaters, and unsavory. I have meet many of those also face to face and in person. Submissives and Dominants alike must always be cautious and take it slowly until the person they are meeting has earned the trust they deserve in a new relationship. I disagree when a group is talked about in a derogatory manner just because of the way they express themselves such as those people who are practicing D/s on-line.

  5. tequilarose

    I met my Daddy online. Granted it was through a mutual friend, but the first several months of our relationship was online and via text message as well. I’ve also talked with several “doms” online who were there just to get their jollies off and they were off to the next conquest. I have also met many very awesome and who I would consider respectable doms online as well. It just seems online though, there seems to be a lot more fakes there than in real life. I’ve also had doms who I’ve talked with in real life who I thought were serious but then would come up with a million and one excuses as to why we couldn’t meet. There are people like that everywhere. There are those who call themselves submissives and slaves who act the exact same way. They’re willing to be the most devoted person to you, but then once you mention meeting in person, they disappear or come up with excuses. The same in real life. But, most of those who are online only, both doms and subs do tend to be the one who disappear the fastest.

  6. Laura

    Will you publish a corresponding article explaining why submissives disappear? I’d read it.

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