Dear lunaKM,

I'm kinda new to the dominant lifestyle I would like to try new things with my sub other than the things we do now as blindfolds, bondage,whipping,sensory deprivation,but can't find anything online other than some stuff my sub and me won't so any suggestions would be awesome.

Hello New Dom,

Since I don't know you, nor what your limits and interests lie I can't give you any direct suggestions for play. I would suggest that you start with a BDSM checklist. Many of them online are very detailed and thorough. They list a lot of play activities that you can think about and rate them according to interest. You both should fill them out and then find common activities you'd like to learn about. It will help you with suggestions better than I can. You can find a list of BDSM checklists here.

Dear lunaKM,

Hi my name is breezy and i want to submit and i have a disability but i can still walk does that matter?

Dear breezy,

No that shouldn't matter. You may have a harder time finding a Dominant willing to work with your disability but there are always ways to experience submission or play no matter your physical ability. Now, you will meet people who think that you have to be a certain fitness or body type to be into BDSM but just ignore them and look for ones willing to help you explore and experience safely. You might want to look into the local community near you and talk to some people in the area. The group leaders would have a better idea with who might be looking for someone such as yourself and in the least you can talk to people about submission closer to home. You can find local groups at FindaMunch.com.

Dear lunaKM,

I am very new to being a Sub. My dom is also new to this. I knew him well before this and I trust him. But I know him as a sweet guy, and am only now learning he has a dom side. But I am having trouble taking him serious because all I know is his sweet side. Any suggestions on how i can learn to submit to him and take him seriously? He says I have not given him myself completely. And i do not know how to, but i think taking him serious would help. Any suggestions for what i can do or what he can do?

Dear seriously sweet,

Dominants of every form will have many sides to them. They don't all have to be strict and rigid and serious. They are, after all, people too. So your Dominant has a sweet side? Why does that bother you? What preconceptions of Dominance do you have? Do you believe that Dominants need to act like those in erotica or fiction all the time? How flat and boring would that be?

I think you might want to really think about how you see yourself in submission as well. Are you only humble and demure or do you have a feisty side? Is there anything wrong with that?

It could be that you can't be submissive with this particular person if you are finding it hard to see the entire package, sweet and Dominant as one. Don't give up without trying though. Open up your mind to the fact that Dominants (and people) come in many variations, but that won't lessen him as a Dominant. Talk with him about your confusion and see if there isn't something you both could work towards to make it work for you.