Dear lunaKM,

My D/s is a long distance relationship. We have not met in person. Just starting out, he's training me so to speak. I am new. We are planning to meet eventually, it is set. So my question: He sends me scenes via text. Does a submissive send scenes as well? What scene form is acceptable. He is very lenient, but I'd like to get it right. thanx.

Dear texting sub,

Welcome to the world of online and long distance relationships! Since these relationships rarely, if ever, have a physical component a lot of participants write stories, fantasies and scenes to share with their partner and to share their desires. It's not a practice specific to Dominants or submissives. If your Dominant would like you to write scenes then he will tell you. I suggest you ask him if he'd like you to return in kind. There isn't a specific form at all. Just let your imagination fly. They can be in the form of erotica, or you can do an exchange where he writes one part and you write another and then he responds. If it's over SMS text messaging then it's called sexting.

So ask him, see what he says. I'm sure you'll get it right, whatever he wishes of you.

Hi lunaKM,

I am new to this. Background, I and wife have been married 20 years. We are both 57 years young! We have very good sex once a week. I always initiate. I have been reading a lot about the BDSM world. WOW! All sorts of things going on, huh? For months I wanted to bring it to my wife's attention. I was nervous as all hell. Last weekend I brought up the subject. She is open to it a bit. She prefers to be dominated--lightly. I told her that I tested 100% as a switch. How should we proceed? Blindfold? Role play ? Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Newlover

Dear Newlover,

Getting started in kinky play is a scary and exciting opportunity, no matter your age. I suggest you talk with your wife about the sorts of things she'd like to try and find one that you mutually have a curiosity in. Then do that one thing. It can be using a blind fold or role play. Just add one new thing at a time. That way you can be sure that you know what you are getting into, can learn straight away if you like it or not and won't confuse things that are blended together.

You might get a bit of information from ted_subby's post on Introducing BDSM to your partner:  Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner: Part 3- My Partner is Interested!

Take it slow and have fun exploring your new world.

Dear lunaKM,

Is it a responsibility of a slave to come up with scenes for her Master? He loves to hear my fantasies. However, I don't want to keep saying the same ones over and over.

Dear slave,

The responsibilities of a slave are whatever the Master decides for her. Have you negotiated before becoming their slave as to what your duties would include or did you forget that part? Talk to him now.

It sounds more to me that perhaps he wants you to fantasize and think of sexy, erotic thoughts for him. Definitely ask him about his expectations and your concerns about running out of ideas and repeating yourself.