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lunaKM has been a full-time slave in an M/s relationship for over 10 years. She is the founder and editor of Submissive Guide. Learn more about her here and connect with her on, Twitter, Google+, FetLife.

4 responses to “Why Would Any Submissive Want to be Micromanaged?”

  1. toy

    I personally feel that some micromanagement is ok. For instance I enjoy my clothing to be controlled. I know of several Dom(me)’s that love micromanagement. I have personally turned several down because of it. I enjoy the freedom of making choices for myself.

    As for why it gets a negative response? I think it has to do with “people” in general feeling that one person controlling another is “abusive”. Sadly this is just how the “vanilla’s” view our lifestyle.

  2. subtoJB

    Giving up control is one of the things I love about my relationship with my Dom. To me, being able to let go and give him control of me is the ultimate release, and until I met him, I’ve never been able to do that before. I am very independent and I have tons of responsibilities. I have never felt “safe” enough to let things go. And then Sir came along.

    The book “Different Loving” sums up this idea as follows:
    “The predominant truism in D&S culture is that the sexual submissive is usually someone who, in daily life, has weighty responsibilities.” And then, “The period of submission is, in effect, a time when worldly obligations are cast aside; a time of surrender and receptivity to the stimulus that the dominant bestows. No decisions must be made, and no distractions reduce the intensity of perception.” (p 85)

    Micromanaging, as with all things in the D/s relationship, is something that needs to be negotiated carefully. Sir has a lot on his plate, too, and so we wanted to be sure that the areas he manages are the right ones. And because of the careful consideration we put into our negotiation, we can both enjoy the moments when he exerts his control. *That* in itself makes micromanagement enjoyable.

  3. ted_subby

    Very nice article. As you say, everyone is different in what they want or even tolerate.

    My Princess (dominant wife) says that she abhors micromanagement but she does command me in details much of the time, and I have rules to follow including a few which do not have any practical purpose.

    I am open to all of this because I am driven within D/s by what she wants, since I always want as far as she is interested in going.

  4. JPsub

    Micromanagement has a negative connotation because we are micromanaged as children from what time to go to bed, to what girlfriends/boyfriends we have, to make sure we get a straight A in school. Some parents go overboard and come down hard when their kid does not live up to their standards. I am not fan of micromanagement because of that. People always told me to do this/that and expected me to listen, not acknowledging that I have my own opinions. When I became overage, they still treated me as though I were a child. My family tried telling me how to bring up my daughter their way. My Master treats me as an adult and is not into protocol. He tells me to dress comfortably when we go out. There are times when he needs to exert control depending on the situation, but for the most part he is really laid back. As long as I get things done, he does not care.

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