Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Tequila Rose is a full time slave who recently relocated to Germany to be with her Master. She has been in the lifestyle since her early twenties and continues to learn more about the lifestyle and being a slave. She now spends her days learning her new language and wandering the streets of Dortmund. You can contact her via email:

8 responses to “The Ring and the Collar: A Personal Opinion on the Symbolism of a Collar”

  1. krisswinger

    I’ve been married for 25 years with a ring on my finger. If you can make it last that long it’s not vanilla. Sometimes it’s a real struggle and sometimes it’s wonderful.

  2. littleone

    I could not agree more. W/we have been committed since May 25, 2012. W/we were married with paperwork on March 15, 2013. W/we will have a public wedding for O/our friends and family on September 28, 2013. The commitment was made when i was collared by my Sir. The government paperwork simply makes all of the vanilla things easier (insurance, houses, healthcare, etc).

  3. Daddysgrlt

    Daddy said he would consider making me his collared slave I said I’d rather be your gf. He said I’d be happy if I knew what that was. After reading this I’m happy Thank you

  4. Triz

    IF marriage is not permanent than the collaring may mean something to the divoced person but to the one that left.. its just a bit of leather and history. To believe otherwise is a fools choice. If the Dom really thinks that its true ownership then they need to get a bit of psych and legal help. If they don’t understand that “ownership” is just a way of saying I will stay with you as long as WE BOTH are willing then they will be fine else, they will have some serious legal and possibly physical issues to deal with. Remember if a REAL slave revolts.. and leaves often the Master is some like a famous parrot in a skit.

  5. Meara

    I entered this lifestyle already married to my Husband. The ring on my finger came at a great price, after a year of Hell. We lost one of our twin daughters at 10 months old Jan.3, 2009; his grandmother passed 24 hours later; we lost jobs; and the house we were trying to buy; then the apartment we got; and more jobs; we had to live separately, and I got H1N1/swine flu and almost died in Oct 2009 and we both knew if we could make it through all of that we could make it through anything. We got married Dec. 21 2009, the winter solstice, the end of the nights growing longer and the beginning of the light coming back into the world. I’ll admit that part of it was for practicality sake. When I was sick and in a coma there were battles about who could make decisions regarding my medical care since I was not able to, and getting married solved that issue, BUT by that time we already own each others hearts, minds, body’s and souls.
    Our focus was and has ever been on each other and our own personal growth together. Now, we have begun this amazing journey into the D/s parts of the lifestyle as well as play parts that go along with it, as an already well established unbreakable unit. M’Lord, my Sir, my Dom and I are approaching the point in our kink lives that collaring is eminent and for both of us it is just an added depth of our commitment to each other. My collar will be a symbol of our commitment not just to the rolls we will take or have already taken, and not just to the ownership of one to the other, because that has already been established but it is more a symbol of our commitment to walk the road take this journey, this lifestyle together and to not give up on that part of our lives because it’s scary or difficult or confusing. This will be a symbol of us being committed to support each others growth in this BDSM lifestyle. Our wedding rings already show how committed we are to support each of us in any and all vanilla endeavors and already merged ourselves to each other in ways neither of us can fully express in words. The collar is to show the same for the kink world.

    We look at each other as equals, because we don’t work right without the other, but He leads, I follow, His decisions are the final ones, but I advise and support Him in those decisions and He values my insight and intelligence. We are a unit and a ring or a collar would not change any of this, but the symbolism, that is where these two pieces of metal come to play, and we cherish the meanings behind both.

  6. Kathleen

    I understand, but if one of you dies the tax and other legal advantages are huge. Just saying… a piece of paper from the government can be worth a lot of money.

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