Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Laney is an ultra-girly FemDoll from Alabama who has been an active participant in the BDSM community for three and a half years. She is the Special Events Coordinator for The Red Chair in Birmingham and is a greeter on FetLife. She recently changed her lifestyle label from "bottom" to "FemDoll" and is exploring the Leather side of this world with her submissive pup. You may find her on FetLife as LeatherBloodDoll.

4 responses to “Finding a New Love – The Impact of Time on Your BDSM Checklist”

  1. subtoJB

    Thank you for this article. I really like the idea of making a list and thinking of having one toy for the rest of your life, and then see how that evolves. I’m new enough to where I haven’t tried everything, but I do know that it would be a difficult choice between my crop and Sir’s floggers. I think the dynamic of having your “no” items become “yes” items over time is fascinating. That buildup and anticipation is what really makes them pleasurable in the end, but that is also dependent on having a Dom(me) or Top that you can build that trust with.

  2. FatherJon

    Each to his/her own, I guess. As a pure spanko, I’ve never been into ‘bondage and floggers’ per se. My first and last love has always been the rattan cane for precisely the opposite reason you like the thud of the flogger. I like the sharp whistle and crack of the cane as it executes its journey towards the naked buttocks. My normal technique is to prepare the bottom with a good bare OTK spanking, by hand and leather paddle/strap, before bending my girl over the back of the sofa or across my famous spanking stool for several strokes of the cane. My canes are prepared from Indonesian rattan by the best practitioner from West Australia and delivered cheaply around the country. I’ve never had one break on me yet. As I say, each to their own, so long as we’re all happy with what we do is the main thing.
    FJ

  3. tequilarose

    This is a great article LaneyDoll! Going through and updating the BDSM checklist is something that is on my to-do list and this was a nice reminder! I think a lot of times people who have been in the lifestyle for a long period of time never think to go back through a BDSM checklist. It’s a great way to see how much your tastes have changed as you’ve grown as a person and with your partner.

  4. bonimiss

    @LaneyDoll interesting assignment but I think I would find it impossible to do. I have struggled with that one meme to describe your favorite toy for over a year. It is rope of course but then I take that as a given. I also find it fascinating how my mind opened up to new things. Sir introduced shackles and metal bondage over the last year and it is so much fun. It will never replace rope but it is the contrast I find enjoyable. And overall I love the things I hate so I could never banish anything.

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