I am fairly new to the D/s lifestyle as I have been vanilla all my life.....but I feel I was born to be submissive as I am a submissive woman by nature. My Dom of 3 months who is a wonderful man is voyeuristic and a sadist. I felt a disconnect with him a few weeks back and had an instinct that he was wanting something more. I tried to talk to him about this and he reassured me everything was fine and he would never even think of playing without me. I posted an ad under a fictitious name on the internet and he answered the ad. He set up a play date with this fictitious younger woman and then tried to switch our meeting day as it was the day she was requesting. He became very short with me when we would talk, almost as if irritated. When I let him in on what I had done or better yet....what he had done, he became very apologetic and gave me various excuses as to why he had done this. I have forgiven him, but now I am having a hard time trusting him. I don't feel that our relationship is Safe, Sane or Consensual anymore. My question to you is....can this relationship be salvaged once the trust has been broken, especially so early in the relationship. I use the term relationship as we have both expressed our love for each other. I wasn't mad at him for doing this, which I let him know. Although I was very hurt and felt very disrespected. I want to give him the benefit of doubt, but I can't help but feel as though I am just being used for his own personal gain now.

First, you had to have some distrust growing if you created an account to try and catch him at it. So, you trust was crumbling before you even discovered he was looking for someone else. While you contacted me about the trust falling apart because of his cheating I think you had something going on before that in order to cause you to create that sock puppet account.

As far as rebuilding your relationship; only you can really answer that question. Can you let yourself continue to feel like something isn't right with your relationship or that he might continue to search for someone else to play with even if you aren't comfortable?

You need to decide for you if you are willing to repair the damage done and if he's really willing to work at it also.

In general terms trust can be repaired if both parties are genuinely interested in making what they have work. If you feel after talking with him that it just can't happen then go with your gut. Trust yourself to know when you've had enough stress and heartache.

A relationship doesn't have to be that way.