I have always been interested BDSM and have recently been educating myself on it. I have figured out that I am definitely a submissive and my husband is no doubt a dominant. I want to get him interested in this and explore it a little bit but do not know how to approach it. He plays a dominant role in our sex life now but I would like to bring more of that out and I don't quite know how to broach this. Can you help? When he does dominate me the sex is incredible but I think he  feels silly in this role and hasn't actually taken it seriously i want him to.. how do i do this.? Help I want more?

Hi there,

Your question is quite reasonable but also extremely difficult. You will have to sit down with him and tell him how his dominating you in bed makes you feel and that you'd like to continue that feeling outside the bedroom. If you've done some research or reading, share that with him. Ask him how he feels about being dominant in bed and if he'd be willing to give it a shot for longer periods of time.

Find a book you can read together about being D/s and beginning BDSM and talk about it together. Figure out what you like and don't like and where you'd like him to be in control and where he'd like to have control. Create balance in the exchange and take things slowly. Ultimately you are going to have to sit down with him and have some heart to heart conversations.

If he says that he doesn't want to be dominant outside the bedroom are you going to be able to accept that? You can't make people change, they have to want to change. I do wish you all the best. Good luck.

We've talked about introducing BDSM to your partner before and these essays on the site might help you out too.