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lunaKM has been a full-time slave in an M/s relationship for over 10 years. She is the founder and editor of Submissive Guide. Learn more about her here and connect with her on, Twitter, Google+, FetLife.

6 responses to “How You Can Respond When Your Family Disapproves of Your Chosen Lifestyle/Sexuality”

  1. Dirk Hooper

    I can’t tell you how important this sort of post is. I plow through a lot of news and articles and this is the type of post that we need a lot more of in the BDSM community.

    I think it’s much more likely that someone discovers that you’re into BDSM on their own, or through a friend of a friend. I can imagine that the confrontation would be terrible since the ignorance of what goes on in a real BDSM relationship is almost never presented in the media.

    You either get it or you don’t. I’ve tried to explain it to otherwise open-minded friends and it never quite connects with them.

    Thanks for this piece, it will be a good place to start for a lot of people dealing with this issue.

    Dream hard,
    - Dirk

  2. Jenny

    I agree with the post above – In regards to how to deal with if you family/children find out there aren’t many out there.

    My background – I’m a 30 year old women, I’ve suspected my mother (Dominant) and her husband (submissive) are into BDSM. I remember things when i was a child, and through passing comments over the years i have guessed – but never spoke to my mother about it openly. After all, i don’t really want to know. Mother – Daughter relationship. Plus – it isn’t really my business. I’m very accepting of other people’s choices. Although i understand BDSM, i don’t ‘practice’ or involved. However, as careful as parents can be, you can’t always be.

    My 18 year old sister has recently accidentally come across photo’s of a ‘play party’ at home (were she still lives) of which are incredibly graphic, and show pictures of other people we know and love as well as strangers (I suppose you could say using ‘hard limits’). She has become so distrustful, and feels crushed by it. I didn’t see photo’s, but from explanation, i felt sickened by the images because it is so personal (I’m an A&E sister – I’ve seen all sorts). It is acceptable to bring that situation into a family home, and should you have such blurred lines when it comes to introducing people that you ‘play’ with, into family?

    I’m struggling to deal with the situation, as it has caused such distructive emotions, raw feelings, and huge problems with trust – because of the reaction from my sister. (She will not go home, nor will she speak to our mother, and i’m stuck between a rock and a hard place). Not everyone agrees with BDSM, and i accept there are variations with regards to BDSM. But how do you deal with it? and as careful as you are, its hard for others to accept, sometimes.

  3. Nikki

    My mom accepts it. My youngest daughter (23) accepts it. I will not talk to my sisters or dad about it because they would freak. My oldest daughter has disowned me. I can still see the grandbabies under certain conditions but she doesn’t care if she never sees me again. It has driven a wedge between my daughters and i hate it.

  4. Susan

    I have recently been outed to my parents through a narcissistic and obsessive stalker who is making my life hell. He has contacted all my friends and family and sent them emails of me getting flogged and caned now I have to face them. My father is very religious Catholic. I am really scared about their reaction and am going to see them in a few days. What do I do? How do I got about this.

  5. Jessica hamner

    ok so the thing is
    my husband and i are trying d/s again
    my son asked about 50 shades of grey
    i told him it is a misrepresentation of a bdsm lifestyle i did not elaborate.
    my mother in law also tried her hand at that type of lifestyle
    and is quick to point out that her son and i are not made for that lifestyle
    i said everyone is different
    every relationship is different
    she insist we will never really be in a true d/s relationship. hers failed.
    what do i say or do now?

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