After years of research and thought, I recently entered my first D/s relationship. I was lucky to have found such a Gentleman so quickly. He respects my thoughts, listens to my rants, and is as emotionally available as our long distance allows. I can't help but feel like I am constantly disappointing Him. He loves my sense of humor but when I am not in just the right mood, I know I can be a bit too aggressive. It's always been my personality. He hasn't asked me to change this but I know it aggravates Him. I want to please him but I'm not sure how to fix this character flaw.

Dear Anonymous,

If you feel like your behavior is not what you want to give your Dominant, then the only thing you can do is change it. Always remember that He wouldn’t have chosen you if He didn’t want you. You are feeling guilty because you are not living up to your own expectations of the kind of submissive you’d like to be. You are the only one who can change these things in yourself. Look for information to help you. There are many self-help books about making changes in your life. There are also many helpful articles on Submissive Guide about living up to your own goals and submissive standards.

If your Dominant hasn’t asked you to change these things, He likely accepts and loves you for who you are. However, you will not be happy with yourself if you continue to hold on to these unwanted personality traits. Try explaining this to Him and ask for help. Maybe your Dominant can come up with ways to curtail these behaviors if you tell Him that you would like to change them. I know that it can be very difficult to change things that are part of our personality. It just takes a lot of work and patience with yourself. You can do it. Good luck.

SehAnru