photo by Rochelle, just Rochelle (CC BY 2.0)
Let’s face it. Not everyone out there is graced with excellent health, some of us are even chronically ill. Myself, I face being on dialysis along with Lupus and Fibro. I am in a ton of pain a good deal of the time and have 3 wonderful children, 2 with special needs that require that I often be on top of them most of the day, since even a few moments alone and they can destroy a room well enough that it takes most of the day to set right.
So what do you do as a slave and a mother and wife when the bad pain/illness days hit?
- Remember that your first duty is to your Owner and that you must take care of Their possession: you. A broken body or mind is no longer useful.
- Your second duty is to your children: They need you whole and hale, pushing yourself to the breaking point is harmful to them as well as you.
- Take things slowly, and make reasonable demands on yourself.
- Break large tasks down into smaller steps, not only will you feel like you’ve accomplished a lot, you will be saving yourself from over doing it.
Handling Protocol
If your Owner has set movement protocol for you, it behooves both of you to write a second protocol for bad pain days. Kneeling when your arthritis is flaring up does no one any good since you will not be able to focus on the movement and the mind set that it puts you in when you are not hurting. Below is an example from my own protocol that my Owner has me follow on bad pain days.
“When the Master enters the home, and the slave has signaled that it has been a bad pain day and/or has needed to take pain medication the slave will instead stand at “waiting attention” where the slave will stand upright arms behind her back, crossed at the wrists and head bowed respectfully. The slave, in order to use this alternate protocol will signal it’s need by placing a yellow ribbon on the doorknob of the home.”
This was developed after a few months of trial and error after too many afternoons when He would come home and His mental routine would be interrupted because I was in a non standard position. The first thing to come across His mind was “why is my slave not doing as she has been trained?” Then it would lead into a lengthy explanation of why I am in pain and what I had to do to remedy it. This break in protocol would make both of us feel like something was incomplete at the end of the day, neither of us experiencing the calm and quiet place that would be created by following the ritual for welcoming Owner home.
So, we sat down and discussed the matter together and together created the secondary routine/ritual that is to be used only when I am in pain. Owner’s mind-set is not jarred because He saw the ribbon tacked to the doorpost signaling that His slave was using the pain protocol so He knew what to expect when He opened the door. When you have children, the available time to experience anything remotely like subspace comes through service for me, and having this in place assures me that I will have that chance no matter how my body feels at the moment.
Do not be afraid to accept help
It’s Saturday morning, the kids are watching cartoons and the house is a wreck. You are feeling ill and are laying on the couch and just cannot contemplate doing anything productive but still you get up and push yourself. That’s when Master comes and takes away whatever you were doing and sends you back to the couch perhaps wondering “what did I do wrong? why won’t He allow me to serve?” Just as it is our jobs to take care of our Owners and Masters as well as our children and any other dependents, so too is it the Master’s job to make sure that we are in top condition as well. If that means that They take over the chores for the day and make you a hot cup of tea to soothe your throat, let Him! If your Master is at all like my Owner, He enjoys knowing that He can make you feel better!
What it comes down to is this, when we push ourselves past our strength especially when we are ill, we are doing our entire family a disservice. By pressing forward when we are ill, we prolong the illness in most cases. So, allow the children to sort the laundry and allow Master to do the dishes if it means that you will be well soon.
When you are ill, how do you deal with your submission and the responsibilities created by it?
My name is lunaKM and I’m a full-time stay-at-home submissive in a D/s relationship.
I started blogging when I was exploring D/s online in 2003. I needed advice, mentors and helping hands. Since then I've made it my mission to help novice submissives understand themselves and the services they wish to provide. 
Truthfully – i usually land up being what we call “the tough old bird” – just working through whatever is wrong. Sometimes i get real bitchy – mostly due to anxiety about my ongoing health issues. i am glad i read this post this morning……. it has given me much to think about – and perhaps it will lead to a post on The Journey – (pass it along sort of thing)
Thanks for making me stop and think……….
You are quite welcome. I deal with several chronic diseases from being on dialysis to living with chronic pain and RA. It came to a point when I Was doing the same thing that you are when Owner said “stop what you are doing right now, and I mean NOW! You are destroying MY property be keeping on like this, LISTEN to your doctor!” and…I listened. I’m in less pain now, and more is getting done in the house at least.
Do you go to a dialysis center or are you on peritoneal dialysis? My ex did both and now he is on peritoneal. It is a lot easier on your body and doesn’t make you feel as tired and sick. You should talk to your doctor.
I tried pd actually, I began there. Unfortunately, they did not know of the tears in my diaphragm which allowed me to have a double lung full of the fluid causing pneumonia and lung damage in the process. We are looking at the possibility of home hemodialysis and beginning the training process soon. Thank you though for your suggestion, unfortunately my road in the world of kidney transplantation is a long and weird one.
Thank you for your ribbon idea, it is going to be discussed tonight.