Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Thisgirl is a 30 year old submissive living in the UK and engaged to her Master, Grimly. To contact her visit her blog or by fetlife or e-mail

12 responses to “What’s In a Name? Selecting a Scene Name You Can Live With”

  1. Agni

    I don’t mind using nicknames online, but it freaks me out when in real life (munch) people still name themselves online’ish.
    Hi, I’m Lord Domaster. Hi, I’m subbieJD.
    Lord Domaster, could you pass me some salt pls?
    subbieJD, what car do you drive?

  2. Spooky Skeptic

    Most of my vanilla friends know the types of activities that I enjoy, so I’m lucky that I can use my name. Well, not my real name, but you are more likely to hear me called “Spook” than my given name. My uniform windbreaker for work even has it embroidered on it. It provides a bit of anonymity in that only people who know me well enough to call me that will recognize it. If my parents saw this post, they wouldn’t readily know it’s me, but my inner circle of friends would. As a cousin pointed out after finding me on FetLife, “How many Spooks are there in south Mississippi?” Well, not that many, because it turns out it’s a non-sensical slur against African Americans. That fact made me think about changing it, but it’s who I am. I’m Spook. It’s unassuming. It’s descriptive. Honestly, it just fits.

  3. JPsub

    thats good that your vanilla friends know what your into. it is also good that your cousin knows. My master likes to be anonymous and quiet. he wants to exist in the woodwork. i use my real name in many places unless it is a site. even then, i am simple. Here I use JPsub and on Fetlife I use mastersluvr. I have learned the hard way with my family to use simple names and hide because they are too vanilla. a name sets a person apart from others, but shouldnt be to out there because then one could pinpoint a person easily. in certain cases, having a common name is good. I choose who i reveal information to unless i am asked. I do not mind being honest, but only in company that i know will not ridicule me.

  4. rumiboy

    @thisgirl I really enjoyed this post. My screen name came from joining a reference to my devotion to the poetry and the myth of the Persian Poet Rumi to my burning curiosity and budding exploration of the submissive side of my personality. Sometimes I think it is just so pretentious, but I’m really glad I didn’t go with something pervy or cute. You made me laugh as I remembered some of the screen names I have used over the years that fortunately didn’t stick. Have you ever met someone who told you an old screen name and you remember them from past chats and posts?

  5. thisgirl

    Agni, no I don’t like really using online names in public either unless it can’t be avoided. I suppose I like to show I’m a normal (ish) person as well as a kinky one!

    Spooky, i like your name it definitely fits you :) I have to say no one i know nilla wise knows about my kink or my kink identity…at least not that I know of!

    JPsub, oh i envy you my dom is not good at being quiet lol.Seriously though I think it is right to keep the balance between privacy and sharing things to a level that’s comfortable.

    rumiboy, thanks for your comment :) no i’ve never met anyone that would remember me from old screen names since the really bad ones i never gave me real name with or even pictures to so unmemorable thankfully! x

  6. SissyBarbie1066

    Hi ThisGirl and all,
    I think I have told “ThisGirl” elsewhere that I use a name that my Mistress gave me, but on the sort of related subject of Gravatar pictures, would it be considered rude or wrong in any other way to have one showing me in my maid’s uniform but with my features and flesh smudged to render me unrecognisable? Or is there just no point maybe? I do not wish to be recognised, I am not famous but I have been interviewed on local TV four or five times and well, lets just say I am slightly well known locally in raising money for charity and hobbies, but my kinky activities are undercover and I would not want people at work or my family and friends to find out about the pleasure I derive from being a maid for my Mistress a few times a year and practicing in costume at home in between sessions. I have made a suitable image and have removed the background so the location is also anonymous and I nearly submitted it but there is no way of getting the genie back in the bottle once released and both my cowardice (you could call it my sense of self preservation) and a feeling that it might be unacceptable, stopped me submitting it.

  7. bonimiss

    My name comes from when I used to play an online game about pirates. I had a character named Bonnie based on the famous pirate Anne Bonny and from that I have used names that start with bon. Only much later did I realize that my favorite pastime starts with those letters, bondage. Maybe it was subliminal? I really don’t know.

  8. Spooky Skeptic

    I don’t see how that would be considered rude or wrong. The picture would still tell a lot about you. Besides, it wouldn’t be any worse than my Gravatar pic, which is my daily medicine arranged in the shape of a person.

  9. thisgirl

    Barbie, you just need to do what you feel comfortable with, I think a maid’s dress would look nice but it is really up to you :)

    Spooky , your gravatar is funky :)

    bonimiss, perhaps it was a subliminal thing but those pirates were all in favour of bondage and flogging so you never know ; )

  10. BabyBelle

    I’ve always used vanilla names that are taken from famous figures in history for my nicknames and when I go out to events. In fact, the one that I used the most until a few weeks ago was the name of a Spanish queen. For me simplicity has always served me well in concealing my identity. Recently I’ve started using Belle because that’s a part of the name that Daddy and I agreed on when I became his little girl.

  11. selkie

    Selkies are shape-shifters from Gaelic legend. They are usually seals or sea-lions, but they occasionally come ashore to participate in various selkie revelries. In order for them to come ashore, they have to shed their seal-coats to take a human form. According to legend, if a mortal man happens upon a revelry and sees a female selkie he likes the look of, he picks up her coat in his hands and she, unable to return to the sea without it, submits to him, marrying and having children by him.

    But he needs to hide her seal-coat well, for if she should ever accidentally find it she must return to the sea, leaving her human family behind forever, except to aid her human lover by driving fish into his nets to feed her children or occasional visits as a seal only. But her human family can never be fully aware of her help or her visits.

    Due to these legends, it’s always been considered extremely bad luck to harm or kill a seal.

  12. peteyrulz1234

    Spooky Skeptic, i am surprised to know that there are nonVanilla’s in south Mississippi as I am in south Mississippi myself, I and my boyfriend are new to BDSM and the D/s relationship thing, outside of our privacy we are a normal happy couple, but the secret little moments we get alone we are very in “character” if that’s what you wanna call it. But I guess everyone is like that. I chose kitten, and I chose master, sir, or sovereign for my significant other, he wants to call me his slave, I’m not so sure how to tell him “hell no” without getting my butt paddled, he has very itchy palms. I found a couple of good websites, should I mention these to him to help us be more safe and aware of this and our roles as D/s.

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