Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

lunaKM has been a full-time slave in an M/s relationship for over 10 years. She is the founder and editor of Submissive Guide. Learn more about her here and connect with her on, Twitter, Google+, FetLife.

3 responses to “What is Submission to You?”

  1. Lidia

    My first D/s relationship has just ended (a week ago) and I’ve been going over the past 2 years with my former (that hurts to say) Master and my subbmision. He introduced me to it durring our first date, he said he could smell it off me but I thought I was the most unlikely sub. I’d been in a long term lesbian relationship and I was described by most people as blunt and unapproachable.

    At first I just followed instructions not really knowing what I was doing or how it was supposed to feel, was I doing it right? was I making a fool out of myself? was tihs a form of consentual abuse? I ended up doing some research online and came accross many sites that explained it in a generic way which did help me on my journey by just learning some very basic rules. I started off just wanting to please him and enjoyed his arrousal and eventual sexual rewards. But as time went on my Master introduced more Alt play, tested my boundries, my reactions, gave me my contract and a training collar and lead I found that I was starting to enjoying the training althoiugh had to work very hard on not giggling. I was enjoying it found it thrilling and new but have to admit feeling slightly embarrassed about calling him Master.

    The first turning point for me was when we had an afternoon of play with a lady friend of mine who was into the swinging scene. I had got changed into the outfit my Master had chosen for me and was wearing my collar and lead but when I’d gone through our rituall of me checking the door was locked and nobody could see in through the windows he took my collar off and stated that both us girls were equall – I had a rush of emotion that I didn’t expect – I was proud of my sub status and hurt that it was taken away even temporarily – and although I was punished for it later I grabbed it and put it back on. Thats when things started to change for me and I wrote my first poem as a sub to her Master.

    Unfortuately he had to take a job oversees for 2 years and we only saw eachother once every 2 months and this is when I had my second turning point. His absence filled me with a sense of loss and I started to crave his attention, I missed being flogged, bathing him but most of all I felt real pain not being able to kneel at his feet where I truely feel I belong. The only word I can use to describe it is worship, when I knelt at his feet I worshiped him in the purest way.

    I fell in love with my Master, I still love him dearly and feel lost and vunerable without him and my dream would be to live 24/7 as his slave. Serving him domestically and sexually. To greet him when he gets home from work, undress him, bathe him, dress him, feed him and pleasure him and whoever he wishes. To show my utter devition to him. To offer him the most precious gift of all, my 100% submission.

    I don’t know how I feel about your statement “you don’t have to have a Dominant to work on your submission?” At this time I cannot separate the two or even imagine subbmiting to another.

  2. angelquest

    Hmmmm… I’m still not sure. I have just been recently introduced to this by my Dom. From the first time we connected, via email in a dating website, I was submissive to him, though I didn’t understand that initially. We emailed and texted regulaly over a couple weeks – before we met he provided ‘Melissa’s story’ for me to read – I consumed the six chapters in an afternoon – I was so turned on by most of the story. And then we met and talked, and an hour later we were in his room playing – omg it was amazing.

    So the first item on my list is I’m submissive sexually – I know I have hard limits (like no scat play for instance) but have just started to learn about what else I like – being spanked and flogged turns me on – something I wouldn’t have thought from my vanilla experiences lol.

    I love to please Him. I love to please in general. I love to serve, but do not think I could be a slave – I’ve read many slave blogs, and clearly they are very happy. That is something good and pure for them and that pleasing for me too see.

    Today was a bad day – I crave for Him so much, care for Him so much – I was missing Him, and suddenly I was angry with myself for the caring. We had a talk – and it was good, I calmed down. One thing He said though is haunting me now – that subs often care more the Dom, than They do for the sub. Don’t get me wrong – He is an amazing, kind, and gentle man, unlike I’ve ever known before – there is not a single thing He would do to me that would hurt me. But that statement left me cold.

    So I’ve joined this site tonight, hopefully to find a friend(s) or mentor (other than Him as He is that to me as well) to help me understand this transition that I’m in.

  3. Kim

    Since my first relationship, I wanted to serve, to be spanked, & follow orders. I was only 16 and never said anything. So just his general possessiveness was as far as it went. Instead of asking for what I needed & wanted, I dated 3 verbally abusive and useless men. I thought being a submissive meant, losing all my control, losing myself. Finally, I met Him. He must have saw it in me, felt it, I do not know, but He was ok with it and willing to be what I needed. 8 yrs and a kid later, I am happily married and for me, my life, my definition, is He is in control. In all aspects of our lives. When we play, we play hard, or our everyday life. We might look average, but our D/s is always our role we are in. But, to answer what you said about being a sub without a Dom, yeah, I think it is possible. But, I would not want to think about. To the first comment, my heart breaks for her & I hope you find sun soon.

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