I usually enjoy reading books designed for submissives, and novice submissives specifically, because they have so much to provide for learning and personal development. However, this book rubbed the the wrong way in several ways that just had me struggling to finish it without laughing out loud from what I was reading.
Erotic Surrender – The Sensual Joys of Female Submission by Claudia Varrin is a piece of fluffy, otherworldly descriptions of D/s and BDSM that made me wondering what planet she’s from.
First, the positive – the author does a decent job with the basics of BDSM and submission from a female submissive’s viewpoint. If you haven’t read a single book about BDSM or submission then you could pick up the overview from the first few chapters of this book. She does describe some common play activities and feelings for a female submissive with a male partner.
But here’s where the book fell in my opinion. Claudia uses a lot of what I can only call, romance novel terms and descriptions throughout the entire book. Sure a thesaurus is a nice reference book to have on hand, but this book has overused it. It makes it apparent that she is uncomfortable with the use of anatomy words like vagina, or penis, but also the common slang of pussy or dick. Instead she drops words like quim, pearl, inner sanctum, manhood and rosebud opening. The only other times I’m okay with words like this is when I’m reading a smutty romance novel. And she doesn’t limit it to anatomy. Instead of saying BDSM or SM it’s called the Dark Garden throughout the entire book. You walk the dark garden in search of joys and pleasures that shadow land dreams and bathtub fantasies create. Seriously, I could just vomit with all the soft terms in this book.
For that reason it made it hard for me to read the what otherwise would be really good information. I appreciated that she touched on the emotional and physical benefits of being a sexual submissive and that strong emotions exist in the realm of a relationship like the one she has with her Master.
Really though, if she wanted to write a romance novel then she should have done that instead of disguise a non-fiction book with lyrical descriptions, romantic anecdotes and imaginative language. This just wasn’t the book for me.
Then again, if you like that sort of thing, you might like this book. Don’t take my word for it. Read it yourself and let me know what your impressions were of it.
Product Details
- lunaKM’s Rating: 4/10
- Paperback: 276 pages
- Publisher: Citadel (February 1, 2003)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0806524006
- ISBN-13: 978-0806524009
- Buy the book for yourself from Amazon.com
My name is lunaKM and I’m a full-time stay-at-home submissive in a D/s relationship.
I started blogging when I was exploring D/s online in 2003. I needed advice, mentors and helping hands. Since then I've made it my mission to help novice submissives understand themselves and the services they wish to provide. 
I enjoyed reading your review. You are not alone in your assessment of this book. I must say though, you are for more generous than I. :-)
This was THE first book I read on D/s and BDSM,when first discovering my submissive side years ago. I found it a little too “fluffy” for my liking.I did try to re-read it not that long ago,but couldn’t, I just don’t find it that realistic. I really don’t like my BDSM prettied up. :)
I have a hard time with extremely flowery language in any sort of book (be it romance novels or non-fiction), so I can see why this might not have been your style. Thanks for an honest review!
I’m glad you posted this review as I’m not the flowery sort and therefore would not have taken well to this kind of book when I”m looking for serious assistance to becoming the best submissive I can be for my daddy..