You and I are submissive. We desire to serve someone else in some way but that is about all that is common between the two of us. We are different. We see our personal submission taking separate roads; parallel perhaps, but separate. I hope that in our submission we make sure to continue to look out for ourselves and don’t let submission turn us into a nameless face. A doormat.
One of the first warnings that novice submissives get amidst a group of submissives is to not be a doormat. But no one really goes into explaining what a doormat submissive is, other than the Dominant can walk all over them. How does this manifest? I’m certain that as a submissive person we don’t go into a relationship looking for someone to use us up and do whatever they want without regard for our feelings and opinions. Another name for doormat syndrome is Bottom’s Disease.
It can start with serving the Dominant’s needs above their own, and beginning to neglect important parts of their own lives like family, friends and work. Your personal life does not have to revolve around your Dominant. As it progresses you stop having a care for yourself, suffer loneliness and depression in some cases and lose sight of who you are as a person.
In its extreme form bottom’s disease leads to acting as if one has no responsibility for one’s own behavior or wellbeing, or even for one’s own life, simply because one self-defines as a bottom. People with bottom’s disease may believe they can’t or have no right to say No, or that they should provide for a Top anything the Top wants. Bottom’s disease generally reflects low self-esteem and seems to be another way to cope with insecurity and uncertainty about who one is, both internally and in the world. (Henkin PhD, William and Sybil Holiday, “Consensual Sadomasochism” pg 52)
I encourage you to look at your relationship and at those around you. Does it feel healthy? Are you lifted up more than torn down? How’s your self-esteem? Does it need a boost? Do you need to redefine what submission means to you?
I want you to be happy in your submission. This isn’t to say that you can’t have the relationship where saying No has been revoked or that everything you do provides for the Top. But if you start to identify yourself and everything you do based on someone else, then who are you really living for?
Start to live for your wants, needs and desires. Wake up and find what will make you happy to look upon your life and know you’ve done something you want to do for you. Break the disease.
My name is lunaKM and I’m a full-time stay-at-home submissive in a D/s relationship.
I started blogging when I was exploring D/s online in 2003. I needed advice, mentors and helping hands. Since then I've made it my mission to help novice submissives understand themselves and the services they wish to provide. 
Much peace, I have been a sub my whole life. I have only recently in my 40s have discovered that there is aname for and a place for my kind. I am shy and it means the worl to me to be known. Appreciated. I am pleased that there are those who would not think me a freak. That I am what I am. I live in truth and not deceit. I find it best to speak when I can and to tell when the words won’t come to my lips there are words there. Even if I can’t share them yet. Never give up. With trust comes a looser tounge. No to be loud or rude. Just to speak ones mind to help in the growth and developement in your own jouney. Open your mouth. You can only try.