Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

lunaKM has been a full-time slave in an M/s relationship for over 10 years. She is the founder and editor of Submissive Guide. Learn more about her here and connect with her on, Twitter, Google+, FetLife.

8 responses to “Formal Training – Do You Need It?”

  1. jenny

    “Do you have any ‘formal’ training? What are you learning right now?”

    I’m currently sorting out having one-to-one burlesque dancing lessons. I hadn’t thought about it as a means of training for sexual submission though!

  2. jenny

    I’ll let you know. :-)

  3. jenny

    I have my first dance lesson booked for the beginning of November. Just have to get a comfortable pair of one inch heels that I can dance in. Shoe shopping, such a chore but someone has to do it. :)

    I’ll be writing something on my blog about it once I’ve had the lesson.

    Also, thank you for producing this site. There is so much information for me to absorb. I’ve decided that I’m going to keep a submission journal and will be using your journal prompts to help me. The first prompt I’ve selected is naturally “What skill would you like to learn to improve your service?”. I think I’ll start a new blog in order to keep the journal online so that I can share it with others.

    As I said while chatting to someone last night, I’ve let the genie out of the bottle now and they are refusing to go back in.

  4. fucktoy

    This is an interesting post. I read the Personal Challenge post and felt some confusion because I was thinking that the challenge was personal to the relationship and how do you randomly choose something to train to become a better Submissive.

    This article really cleared that up for me. I’m in my first D/s relationship and want to learn everything Master wants to teach me. And I love preparing the kind of food he likes. I try to do more of what he wants.

    Naturally, Submissive behaviors. This article brought home to me that I’m already do it. It brings up the question for me as to whether submissives are truly submissives if they need to figure out how to train.

    I also loved your article on The Health Submissive enough to link it to my blog. That article also seems to imply that a natural submissive naturally seeks ways to please and bridge that “gap” when she feels (intuitively) that something is missing and her personality shows here where service is needed.

    Would love your thoughts on this, Luna.

  5. sexperts

    My training right now isn’t “formal,” as in there is a certain time each day I work on these things. However, my husband is having me focus on being able to be more intimate during sex, making eye contact, and relaxing. He is also working on getting me into the habit of saying “please” with every single request I make.

  6. Toriko

    i just had a conversation about this with my Dom recently. Due to my work schedule i was able to spend three weeks with Him uninterrupted during which He had said we would work on “training”. i was expecting to work hard on all of the “training” i have read about involving etiquette and expectations along with pushing big boundaries in the bedroom. i finally said to Him after a week and a half that i was worried that we hadn’t worked on any of these things. i was quite put in my place when he explained that we had, in fact, been working on my behavior (i have a lot of issues with emotional openness while keeping them from becoming a whirlwind) and even pushing me physically. Admittedly, the former of these two is the hardest part of my training and has caused me to want to work harder on that “training” on my own.
    i guess the point is that it’s really nice to see an article that deconstructs part of the “formal training” myth. Thanks so much for giving me something to think about. :)

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