Last February was a difficult month for me. Like many in this failing economy I found myself without a job. I was stressed and frustrated and knew that it would be very difficult to find another job when the competition was over 7% of the state’s workforce. Master wasn’t going to let me stay frustrated though.
Shortly after my job loss he came up with a plan. Our dream was going to be reality a little sooner than we had planned. He took on more work to make up the difference in pay and I was to become his stay-at-home submissive. A change in lifestyle not to be entered into lightly. It has proven to be a difficult change, indeed.
I was brought up to work. My work ethic was relatively strong and I got a lot of personal fulfillment out of working. I like the satisfaction I get out of completing a task and getting praise for it. I’m good at working and figured I’d be doing it for a lot of years to come. I wasn’t raised that home care was work, they were chores and chores were to be hated and disdained. They were something you had to do to get to the fun stuff. It wasn’t work.
Master works from home already. I was going to essentially enter into his domain during the day. I was there to please him as well as maintain the home to a higher standard than it was being held to. I was going to have to learn to find the joy in cleaning and being home a lot.
My first couple of weeks were spent cleaning the house sort of mish-mash. In reality I just was catching up with the household chores that I rarely got to when I was working. I started to feel good about the way the house was shaping up but I needed a routine. I found myself watching too much TV and doing even less work once the place was picked up.
That just wasn’t going to cut it. I sat down with FlyLady.net and my own Home Management binder that I made several months ago with an intention to follow it. I worked over my daily and weekly chore lists. I elaborated on them, added to them and rearranged them for my new life at home. I had to work in my website work in the afternoons so my housework became first priority in the mornings.
I started a list of things I’d like to accomplish short term and long term. I wrote down my dreams and goals as a stay-at-home submissive. They looked something like this:
Short Term:
- Start doing laundry more than once a week
- Keep the dished washed, dried and put away daily
- Make the living room suitable for drop in visitors
- Maintain the litter box better
- Really work hard on re-starting my diet and exercise routine
Long Term:
- Find cost effective home cleaners that are eco-friendly
- Learn sewing and craft skills to make or repair items rather than purchasing new
- Develop and wear a home uniform that Master would like to see me in
- Learn a higher level of protocol and service
- Prepare more meals at home, for less
- Learn canning and other food storage options
Now this was just a start to my stay-at-home dreams. I knew that I had a long way to go and I still don’t know where to start some days. But the transition still develops along with the effort needed. I’ve started learning and experimenting with old fashioned cleaners like baking soda and vinegar and tested my own laundry powder successfully. I’m also making more effort to cook and prepare more meals at home. My routine is starting to come together.
I’m a year into my new life and I’m beginning to see patterns in what I do on a daily and weekly basis. I feel less stress than I did while working and I can see an immediate improvement on Master’s life. He’s happier, smiles at me more often, appears to have less stress at work and I can see he enjoys having me at home. His dominance is stronger as well.
I have floundered and had a few days where I just sat in front of the TV all day, but these are not going to be common. I’m trying to establish a routine that will work for both of us. I’ve had difficult days and stressed over little things. I’ve cried because I miss work, even though I do have a ‘job’ now it’s still not in me as work. Master has been patient through it all. He’s helping me see my new position as the best of both worlds. I get to work on my own terms and be with Master every day, all day.
Overall it has been a positive change, even if it wasn’t planned to happen right now. We are rolling with the change, making it work for us and honestly, are very happy with how things are developing for us. Staying-at-home is work, but work that I can feel good about because it is improving our personal life and enhancing our dynamic. Dreams have become reality and more dreams are on the horizon. Anything can happen!
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My name is lunaKM and I’m a full-time submissive in a D/s relationship. I am webslut to 
Luna – thanks for the thoughtful and revealing post about transitions – something all of us can relate to! Paricularly appreciated you being vulnerable that nothing is perfect immediately, it’s a work in progress. Even though I still work FT – the lessons are still applicable.
I’ve been a full time student and stay at home mom/military wife for the last 7 years and still haven’t put together a routine that works for us all. We’ve decided that winging it is the best way to go for us especially during the summer. During the school year with my son and I in school we do have a bit more of a schedule forced on us and weekends become the time for us to catch up with the house work (which really means I have to catch up with the house work LOL) I’ve also started teaching myself cooking from scratch and canning and preserving to save us money while I finish up my degree. I have also started gardening and growing some of our own food. I find that VERY relaxing and satisfying and has taught me alot, not to mention the great tasting veggies that my hubby absolutely loves. Makes me feel great when I can put a smile on his face with a great meal. It’s also great exercise and will encourage you to stay on track with your diet since everything tastes so great fresh picked.
Welcome to the stay at home world, I hope all continues to work out for you.
~~ Mel
I ran into the exact same issue. I moved to another country to be with my Master and gave up a career I enjoyed, but was working from 45-70 hours a week at. The first 2 months were very hard for me…I was the hyper-active sub. I started doing projects around the house..painting, gardening, etc…which helped me enormously. I have pretty much fallen into a routine now and it’s become much easier. My issue isn’t sitting in front of the TV so much as the computer…lol…but the house is always presentable so my Master doesn’t care in fact, he thinks I work too hard sometimes. I take days off when my Master does so it’s worked out ok.