This month I have questions about safe words and relationship types.
I have heard that there are universal safe words, but the only one I've ever been told of is red(as far as I know it is a call for help). I just want to know if there are sets of words known as a universal set or if it is unique to the individual groups.
The short answer is that there are no universal safe words. Each group can define what the safe word will be for the night, event, or entire group. The stoplight system with 'red' is the most common in my area, but I've also heard of people using the word 'safe word' as the stop word. Even more complex is that couples may have a different safe word when playing in private or smaller groups. There is just no one word to mean stop.
When you are playing in public at a party or event, make sure you are aware of what the safe word is. If it is different than your personal safe word try to use it instead. If that isn't likely, make sure the Dungeon Monitors are aware that you will be using a different safe word. They are there to make sure things don't get out of hand, but if they don't know that you screaming, 'Pickle!' is your safe word, they can't stop what's going on. That is typically why there is a party-wide safe word. It puts everyone on the same page.
You can read more about safewords here on Submissive Guide:
The Safety Disguise of Safe Words
To Safe Word or Not to Safe Word
What is the difference between a D/s relationship, M/s, and Top/bottom? I found it rather confusing.Is it all just different shades of the same meaning or am I just missing something?
It really depends on who you talk to if the different power exchange roles mean the same thing or if they are entirely different. It would be common for people to say that when you are a Master, you are also a Dominant and a Top (and visa versa for the slave/submissive/bottom). Others believe that you can't be more than one, so if you claim to be a Master, that's what you are. Confused yet?
Unfortunately these aren't the only terms that can bring about confusion. Many of the words we use in BDSM to describe who we are and what we do have different meanings. What I'd try to teach is that every definition is correct if it works for the people involved. For example, hypothetically, I may not believe that you can progress from submissive to slave, but another may believe that it's a process. Each person's definition is correct for themselves and their own development.
The differences between a D/s relationship, M/s relationship and a Top/bottom relationship could be so subtle that you wouldn't be able to tell the difference, or they can be as different as night and day. It's all contingent on those personal definitions in place.
This may not have answered all of your questions or you might have more. I'd welcome you to take a moment and send me your question. I'd be happy to answer it for you.
