Photo by and of A.
This is a Guest Post by A. She is a new submissive in her first 24/7 dynamic. I received this wonderfully written review of her first 30 days and she offered to share it with everyone here. Enjoy!
It has come to my attention after reading submissiveguide.com that my training with Sir has already begun, though not outright labeled as such. Indeed, every relationship I have ever had has begun in this way, learning the likes and dislikes of my partner and trying to accommodate, but with Him, I am more aware of this process, as it is more deliberate. At the outset, on the day of our first meeting, he instructed me to wear a black dress, and sit in the park reading and await Him. I am validated to read in Luna’s writing that my concern over my appearance, and also trying to be peaceful, not fidget and patient was already a positive in the direction of desired qualities in a submissive. Since that day, we have grown together in many ways, and the ways in which I have learned to please Him are outlined below. I plan to update this list periodically, to track the ways in which I deepen my submission, the ways in which my wants and needs evolve and dovetail with His.
Speech:
Sir:
Use of the word Sir was discussed online, before we had even initially met. He indicated I could call Him whatever I wished, but desired Sir for intimate moments. As we grew closer, it applied whenever He was asserting His dominance, be it out in public, online or on the phone and I show my acceptance and submission with the honorific response.
Thank you:
At various times I have been corrected for not thanking Him for the orgasm He allowed me to have. I have begun to thank Him for blows He gives me in certain contexts, He has not commented either way on this, or corrected when I do not.
Wording:
When I removed His shoes, I asked if He would like to keep His socks or not. This is something I am still trying to work on, my natural way of speaking is to ask “can I?” but I am well aware “may I” is more appropriate. Sir does not comment on this, but I feel it is more respectful, and I’m frustrated with myself at each error.
Enunciation:
Another flaw of mine is that in the course of being together, when I am excited, I often forget the appropriate response of “yes Sir, no Sir” and may make a moaning sort of affirmation or denial. His tone changes immediately as he demands the proper response and I know I run the risk of displeasing Him should I not enunciate properly.
Positions:
Spanking:
Sir is particular about positions and protocol. When I am to be spanked, I am to kneel and bend over with my face flat, shoulders to the bed, and present myself. He prefers my back to be straight, which is difficult for me, as my natural tendency is to reverse arch my back. As I am punished, I am most often allowed to cry out, but not to move. If I flinch, I am to return to the instructed position immediately without hesitation. If I am to stand and be punished, I must brace myself stiff armed on a designated piece of furniture, slightly bent, head down.
Undressing:
I am just now beginning to learn how to undress for Sir. I feel a bit silly, but the lingerie I wear for Him helps. So far He has only specified me to remove my panties while facing away from Him, slightly bent over. Beyond that He has only asked that I please Him with my removal of my clothes, and I try to be creative and pleasing in the process.
Waiting to Serve Sexually:
When Sir decides He wishes to use me I am ordered to get on the bed, on my back, legs spread open and knees up, so He can gaze at me exposed while He readies Himself to enter me. Often I will casually hold this position, while writhing a bit, gazing at Him to allow Him to feel my passion and desire, and my hunger. Occasionally He will correct me and tell me to be still, but generally He enjoys my arousal and encourages me to exhibit these feelings.
From the Rear:
As one of Sir’s favorite ways to have me, positioning for rear entry is very important. He prefers a similar position to that of spanking, with more of a reverse lean so as to better accommodate His thrusts.
Rituals and Behavior:
Morning Check In:
Each day when I get up, I am to write to Him, tell Him my plans for the day, and say hello. Sometimes He responds with additional commands, which may include meditating on a certain subject, writing, masturbation or explicit instructions to abstain from that. Other times He responds with a brief “good morning my sweet girl.” Other times He does not respond at all. The initial contact on my part is the focus, and allows me to show that in waking up to start my day, He is in my first thoughts.
Shoes:
My first actual training occurred when we reached my home our first day together. Sir sat on my couch, and took one of the pillows, placing it at His feet, He instructed me to kneel and remove His shoes. He informed me at that time that His women do not kneel on the floor, only on pillows, and so I learned my first lesson. Now, unless we are in a rush, I kneel at His feet and put on and remove His shoes.
Worship:
In removing or putting on of shoes, I always kiss the tops of His feet. Once the shoes are off or on respectively, from my kneeling position I wrap my arms around His calves, and press my head down softly on His lap. He then bends at the waist, and embraces me and we hold that moment. In this way, I show my devotion and love, and He shows His acceptance and reciprocation.
Sir also requires certain ways of being touched, especially after intercourse. He prefers His chest to be stroked and will directly request it.
Massage:
Due to injury, regular massage is very beneficial to Him, so often I do massage His muscles for Him, both solicited and unsolicited. As I do these things for Him, I try to focus on the feelings I have for Him, all I appreciate that He does for me, and allow that warmth and tenderness to radiate through my hands. This is to me, one of the highest forms of worship and a deep communion between us.
Fetching:
I have the natural desire, when fetching something for Him, to kneel and present the item with both hands upon my return. Sir has expressed appreciation for this, and thus I adopt it.
Toys:
Sir introduces all toys and equipment by either presenting it to me or instructing me to fetch it for Him. He then presents it to my lips and I kiss it, typically a flogger, rope or a slapper, though a blindfold or other bondage instruments, hair brush, etc, are managed similarly.
When Sir is finished with the toy, or when I am cleaning up the room afterward, I am to take the toy to the closet where it is kept, and hang it very deliberately in its designated spot. I stop the swaying with my hands, then bend at the waist to kiss the item, as He watches. He then closes the closet door.
Presentation:
Sir prefers that the condom box be displayed in my room, with one always set on top, ready and anticipating His need.
Orgasm Control:
Sir has decreed that I may not orgasm without His permission. As I feel it build, I am to ask, and if He says no, resist it. This has been my sole punishable infraction to date, as the way in which He was having me made it next to impossible to resist, and in complete honesty, I wanted to see what would happen. Since that time though, with punishment looming over my head, I improved a great deal, and even redeemed myself, forgiven and excused from the punishment. Sir has been pleased to the point where He has moved on to orgasm on command.
Orgasm on Command:
Sir employs both the counting method and basic instruction for orgasm on command training and only during sex, which makes it easier for me. He wishes to lessen my response time however. I myself would like to be trained by Sir to orgasm independent of sexual stimulation; i.e. a simple word can trigger that response but that is at His discretion.
Clothing:
Usually He does not request specific items of clothing to be worn, but generally I ask when planning to see Him, what He would like for me to wear. As we are still in the beginnings of our relationship, He is not 100% familiar with my wardrobe, but I do my best to accommodate His requests.
Personal Grooming:
Sir often does request specific hair styles of me, and I do my best to please Him in this way. Also, He prefers me to have pubic hair, which I have always removed. Growing out and getting used to this hair has been challenging for me, but His pleasure in knowing it is difficult but seeing that I obey nonetheless makes it a rewarding task.
A is a submissive from Boston MA. She has experienced elements of BDSM in the past, but is now embarking on her first 24×7 collared relationship. She happily shares her progress with others who may be inspired in a similar manner. You can find her on FetLife as northern_siren.
My name is lunaKM and I’m a full-time stay-at-home submissive in a D/s relationship.
I started blogging when I was exploring D/s online in 2003. I needed advice, mentors and helping hands. Since then I've made it my mission to help novice submissives understand themselves and the services they wish to provide. 
This is incredibly beautiful to read. It is always inspiring to come across articles like this.
Awesome, i am also recently beginging which i hope is to be a D/s long term relationship, with all the fakes out there it has been a daunting search. Reading your experience thus far was so real and all that i dream of for myself. Good luck on your journey.
oh, u lucky lucky girl! your words have touched my soul. i am an un-owned female sub. Maybe one day i will find a man, Master to please so totally as u have. ~mitz
I’m still seeking a female slave, but it’s really nice to see that some are actually getting really good homes. Your Master seems like he’s taking great care of you. I hope you two stay very happy. :)
.-= Kayla´s last blog ..Book – The Art of Sensual Female Dominance =-.
I’m proud to say Master asked me to read this aloud to Him last night. It was hard for me, as I wrote it completely for myself, and then shared it with you all in the hopes of encouraging others to think about their experiences with this level of detail. I never thought He would see it. But in the end, it was a wonderful bonding time for us. This was written a month and a half ago, and we had such a good conversation about how far we have come since this time. He appreciates all of your comments as well, and those who have emailed Him via fetlife too. I am a very very lucky girl!
Thank you all for your kind words, I wish you all the happiness in your journeys!
I am so excited by this lifestyle. I long to be completely submissive to a strong master but I have no experience with this. How does one find a suitable master. Where can you meet trustworthy people who are serious about this kind of relationship?
The safest place to find kinky people is a BDSM group. You can search for groups in your area in a lot of places. FetLife.com is a common one now. Get a free account and give it a shot. Good luck and enjoy your new journey!
Thank You for this, my Daddy/Master has asked me to write a short summary on what i think training is and how a day of training should go. Training is an on going thing. i live just an hour from Him but due to His job we do not see eachother often, my first part of training has been patience . Waiting for Him to call me or to come over. That has been very challenging for me. i am not the most patient person in the world but i am learning . At first i was like why doesn’t He call me dang it . and now its He will call when He can. i know without a doubt that he does think of me even if i do not hear from Him for a few days that He still thinks about me.
i am a submissive/slave, i am new to this, i have never had a Master until now…or it will be happening very shortly. Master will come visit me for the first time, He is coming from far to meet His little zia. i am excited and scared (not in a bad way… i think) We/we have been talking for a while now, i truly feel inside of me that He is the One i have been waiting for my whole life. i am 24 and He is 39, He has experience, He told me what will be coming ahead, it will be a challenge that Master will help me go through… i hope i will get the opportunity to speak more of my experience… my first experience and hopefully the last. Is it too naive to think like this?
I read your journal and I was awed and amazed by the emotion, understanding and value that you both have for each other. the way that you centered him in your life but how you felt good for it. It felt as if you were enamoured by the way being his made you feel. I am still so new to this way of life. I hope my first months Journey can be anywhere near the way yours was. As soon as I am able to join FetLife I will follow you and hope to hear more of your trainings and experinces, in order to learn more from you in my own journey through submission.
Thank you for this, I also am just beginning in my first real D/s relationship and so much of what you said I have done instinctively til now..it is good to see that I am on the right track! There are so many layers and such depth to what can be achieved and I am grateful and anxious for this journey
thanks for documenting yours!
This is too much for me. I am all for pleasing my man, but enunciation, how to undress, etc? Condoms, toys, controlling an orgasm, massaging,lingerie if the man likes it(mine doesn’t since it ends up on the floor anyway) I can see. I do things because I want to, not because my lover tells me. I gained a smart mouth because people would always tell me what to do. I hated it and i either do not do it or try to compromise in some way. I hate being forced. I am a new sub, but being forced is something I do not tolerate. He will put me in my place though when my mouth does get out of hand. I want to improve for him because I want to, not because he tells me.
“I want to improve for him because I want to, not because he tells me.”
None of this was/is/will be forced on me. Ultimately I make every decision for myself, because I choose to stay in this relationship and this dynamic. Yes, sometimes He does make me do things I don’t want to do, but I’ve learned in the last year and a half now (yes it’s been that long) that these things are almost always in my best interests, and do always come from a place of good intent. He will always discuss with me any reluctance or fears that I have, and reconsider His commands accordingly.
A year and a half later, as I said, we are very much in love, and He will very likely be moving in with me in a few months. Some aspects of the protocol have been less emphasized or eliminated. As much as I love the formal aspects of D/S, I work now, and am in grad school (thanks to Him for supporting and encouraging me, BTW) AND doing an internship, so there is not a lot of time for the more time consuming regiments. I have noticed however we are both happiest, most fulfilled, and feel closest to each other when we make some time for D/S.
I’m glad my story has helped so many. In reading it over now, I hope it sets the bar for submissives in terms of the person they accept as their Master. In exploring my community I have heard so many horror stories of men who call themselves “Masters” or “Doms” who are just cruel people and have no love in their hearts for submissives and their actions come from a place of rage and anger. It does not have to be so, being treasured and cared for IS possible, and deserved…
Perhaps these are things that A wants to do too. No where in her article does it say she’s being forced to do these things. Some submissives do more than you indicate that you do and are perfectly happy for doing so.
I suggest, since you are new, to open up to the many variations you will likely see of D/s and BDSM. Some will fit your viewpoints and others will not.
I loved reading this. It is very similar to what I aspire to have someday.
Thank you. Reading this has made me realise that I too am moving along the right tracks with my development. I have known Sir for a couple of months however we are only 1 week into our D/s relationship as such and already we are establishing much of what you mention here. Thanks again, kari xx
I have not been colerd yet but sir has been training me for a past few months. i have just started reading up on how i can please him more. We have not had a play date but just by reading everything you write has realy touched me. I injoying doing everything he has asked and he dos reward me when i think up things my self..Everything you wrote shows me even tho he dos not say it but he cares and thinks about me even when i dont see him, Just wanted to thank you