Comments on: How To Help Your Dominant Recover From Play

By: anonsubswitch

anonsubswitch — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 09:30:49 +0000

After care for him usually involved a lot of tenderness, and kissing, and if it is the end of the night a lot of simple holding.

Sometimes if it was something new or intense, he feels as though he needs to establish his respect for my mundane abilities as a way of centering himself. This does nothing for me at that point, but he has said he feels a lot stabler after he does this, so letting him do so has become part of aftercare for him. I guess it is an emotional need for him.

By: A

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 02:57:44 +0000

she didn’t like my comment about “scenes”. I’m sorry, I certainly did not mean to offend, just putting it out there as an idea.

By: lunaKM

lunaKM — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:21:16 +0000

Huh?

By: Beneviolent

Beneviolent — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 09:47:49 +0000

I take issue with people who take issue with non-issues to have an “issue” to discuss. God, Please.. do we have have to talk about “how we talk about it”?

By: lunaKM

lunaKM — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:38:43 +0000

I understand your aversion to the word scene, but for many many people, their playtime is separate from the lives they live. In those instances they are scenes and most will understand what the word means for them.

By: A

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:39:33 +0000

I take issue with the word “scene”. Perhaps it is my theater background, I don’t know, something about it to me conveys a contrived separateness from our lives together. For us, there is no start/stop.

That said, more directly physically taxing periods of our intimacy do require certain aftercare, most of it being emotional for both. Although we do not call it such, it is very common for us to spend time cuddling under blankets, talking, and napping. Also I often massage His arms, and sometimes back and feet, as this is very relaxing for Him and is also an important way I can show my appreciation for Him and all He does for me.

We also debrief our activities, usually immediately. It is important for Him to be reassured that I am ok with all that transpired. He likes to ask me scales of 1-10 how I felt about different things; it gives Him important information on where to push in the future, and where to step back a bit. It is also extremely valuable for me, because it reinforces the fact that He cares so much about me and my experience, not just my physical well being but my emotional and spiritual well being too. I trust Him more every time He checks in with me for this reason.

By: Coyote Too

Coyote Too — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:13:51 +0000

A well-timed post for me.
Energy high, a control rush, and sexual frustration are all rating high on my feelings after this weekend. The control rush in particular is a new one to me—I’m trying to find a good outlet for it.

It’s good to know I’m not alone in having those issues after an intense scene.