I’ve been witness to a shocking new trend in relationships lately. Perhaps I’m old school or old fashioned but what I’m seeing in today’s society, and not just the BDSM culture, is the lack of effort in relationships.
As I was raised I was taught that something worthwhile wasn’t always easy to achieve and you may have to work hard to get it. I applied this to everything in my life; including the relationships I developed. My marriage may have failed, but I didn’t give up and worked very hard to make it work before admitting defeat. The same goes for my current relationship. It takes work.
Now I’m not saying that you should give every relationship a fighting chance because I know some relationships are rushed into, lacking desire, destructive or overall bad for you. These are not what I mean by disposable relationships. These are relationships that everyone has to experience to know what a good relationship looks like.
An Example of What I’m Talking About
Recently Master and I were going through a rough patch. Things have since cleared up so there’s no need to worry, I know I didn’t. Recommendations from people that barely know us were along the lines of the disposable relationship mentality.
“Oh well you’ve been together for so long, maybe you aren’t compatible anymore and should consider moving on.”
“If you are having problems then perhaps he isn’t the right guy for you, get out while you are still young.”
“I’d toss him on the curb and find a real man!”
All of these really had me shocked. It’s not like I was begging for happiness in our relationship, I was just voicing my frustrations with the current dilemma. Master and I work hard at our relationship. We have a very open communication channel and use it regularly to talk about everything. We are the most openly communicative relationship I have seen. We don’t give up because deep inside the love for each other is worth keeping. If your are spiritually happy in your relationship you’ll understand on what level Master and I are.
The Disposable Relationship Mentality
I see the advice we tend to give people online that we barely know. We jump to the conclusion that their relationship is doomed and tell them 9 times out of 10 that the man or woman just isn’t worth it and they need to let them go and move on. We do this without hearing the other side, asking more questions or even understanding where this issue came from that they are asking advice on. Why do we do this?
The disposable relationship mentality is a lot like our disposable nature with everything else. We throw everything away. Quality has taken a back seat to convenience and cost. We dismiss issues with a relationship as broken goods and we just let them loose to try and find someone else that won’t break. Of course when that one does as well we start hating relationships altogether. There’s no effort anymore.
Do you think a relationship will blossom if the two or more people involved don’t work at it? Of course not. How hard are you working in your relationship to make it work to your satisfaction?
How about your current relationship? Is it like that toaster you have to keep replacing every few years because it stops toasting correctly or is it that cherished family heirloom that you take great care in keeping beautiful and shining for all to see?
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My name is lunaKM and I’m a full-time submissive in a D/s relationship. I am webslut to 
That’s an interesting post….. food for thought. Thanks x
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I’ve noticed this trend as well and have even been guilty of it. I think in this day and age, relationships are treated as accessories so, like any watch, necklace, or scarf, it can be tossed aside at a moment’s notice. Unfortunately, lessons of the emotional, physical, and spiritual can all be lost in the fray and the person bounces into the next relationship feeling completely validated in their decision; never questioning what actions of theirs led to the decline of a relationship.
At this point, I’m in entering into a relationship that I am very uncertain about, but that meets both of our needs. We feed each other mentally and physically and I think that is something worth holding on to. He is teaching me about better service and I am teaching him about how crazy a “moon-girl” can really be. LOL! In it for the long haul, gods willing.
Actually, I agree with everything you’ve written here. The reality is that EVERY relationship will hit rough patches, every relationship will hit BORING patches, every relationship will hit places where you think you cannot connect anymore … that’s where the “working” part comes in. I find it helpful when you get to a rough patch to stand back, remove yourself mentally for a bit and try to remember who you fell in love with – yeah, that guy- and start looking for those bits in the person you’re angry, bored, irritated, whatever with. Surprisingly, 9 out of 10 times you’ll find that person again … relationships require commitment, work and effort – and are worth it all.
Thank you. I’m glad to know that others feel that relationships are work and that both parties need to develop them in order for them to work and be worth it.
I couldn’t agree more.
What chafes with my most recent relationship is that despite telling me he believed deeply in things like couples counseling, if a relationship hits a rough patch that the two people involved can’t navigate on their own, and he did that with his wife (and he initiated it), when he and I hit major snags together, he *refused* to do it with me. He claimed serious dedication to the relationship, but when push really came to shove to work through the hardest parts, he ended up bailing out.
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