Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

This post was written by a guest contributor. Please see their details in the post above. Guest Authors are vital to Submissive Guide in providing varying viewpoints and different perspectives. If you'd like to guest post for Submissive Guide check out our Write for Subguide page for details about how YOU can share your tips with our community.

26 responses to “What It Means to Be an Owned Kajira”

  1. Aeros Wraithe

    I am happy to see my kajira’s essay here on this site. Look forward to seeing what other essays have been picked to help others that share or are just beginning their journeys.

    1. lunaKM

      Your girl gave me 3 posts to share here. The next one comes out tomorrow!

    2. SubAlaska


  2. Anonymous

    this one thinks this is very well written and exposed. Thank you for sharing this with us.

  3. dina

    I am honoured you published these posts, I hope they will be of a little help at least to some readers.
    When I write, it is always from the heart and consequently can at times leave me feeling very exposed and vunerable – and sometimes be rather contraversial in stance. Having said that, it is my sincere belief that if I cannot open myself entirely to my Master, I cannot submit fully to his will, consequently not only being displeasing to him – but being unfulfilled myself.
    It is a hard path to walk – but for me, worth it.
    .-= dina´s last blog ..Three Interesting Quotes =-.

  4. summerspet68

    Thank you for sharing this essay and your thoughts. I am new to the lifestyle but have had the desire to server for as long as I can remember. I am trying to learn more about being owned and what I can expect long term.

    I thank you again for sharing this has helped me understand some of the feelings I have been developing.

  5. Aeros Wraithe

    summerspet68, I am glad this essay has helped you in what is the start of your journey. I encourage my kajira to write to help focus her thoughts as well as to be able to learn how far she has come along since the beginnings of her posts and essays. It is a very useful tool in clarifying how one feels and why that is. Also it helps bring clarity during a time that can be chaotic and see what changes need to be made or what has already changed.

    I am sure that there are many here, including dina and Myself, that will give you whatever advice you might need. All you need to do is to take a chance and reach out.

    1. arianabella

      i read your kajira’s essay. i was so moved. i want nothing more then to give myself. im coming out of a real vanilla relationship which failed horribly. everything was wrong and he had no idea the discipline i craved. i want to explore the bddsm community in my city but im scared im not familiar with everything yet. any suggestions? please.

      1. lunaKM

        Yes, go to a munch. These are in vanilla environments where you can get to know people without the pressure of having to know anything.

      2. Aeros Wraithe

        Along with going to a munch, there are many websites that are BDSM oriented which you can find through searching. More importantly if you do go to a munch is to ask questions. Most people will be glad to help a new person interested in learning more. Just one word of caution. Take your time to learn as much as you possibly can about both BDSM and of Gor. Both lifestyles will help you grow yet only one of them will fit you best. Also, be cautious of those that want to rush you into training as some prey on the new and ignorant.

        1. GCsub


          I just wanted to say that I am very new to the world of BDSM and a friend shared this post with me. I thank you for allowing your Kajira to write such a moving and stirring piece…it has helped me to understand some of why I have this need in me to submit. Alas as you clearly stated at the end of this response there are some that rush the training and prey on the new and ignorant….this is what happened to me. Due to this experience I was almost ready to walk away from the BDSM lifestyle however after reading this blog I am renewed in my hopes of finding a caring and nurturing Dom that can support me and teach me to expand my boundaries and my personal growth in a loving relationship.
          Thanks again for allowing your Kajira to her thoughts.

  6. summerspet68

    Thank you for insight as well. After reading this and being able to relate, I asked my Mistress if she would allow me to write about my experience and gained permission from her. I plan to do some more writing today.

    My Mistress and I discussed at some length yesterday my feelings and other things. She is very perceptive and when she first considered me for a pet, she saw that I had a need that I was unaware of.

    I have struggled with my emotions and feelings and had come here to discern if what I was experiencing was normal and acceptable.

    I thank you for the advice and offer of advice, and I am glad this site is available as a resource to a new submissive such as me.

    1. dina

      hi summerspet

      I must say a huge ‘all hail’ goes to luna for developing this site for all of us. For many years I would have said never in a million years would I re-enter the bdsm scene, let alone specifically the Gorean lifestyle ever again after a significantly upsetting experiance. About 3 1/2 years ago that started to change, quite slowly I must admit, but it did. You cannot deny who you are inside no matter how hard you try, eventually it rears up and will not be ignored…even if you manage to dismiss it for 14 years as I did. luna’s journal prompts were a lifeline to me at that point, I am unsure what I would have done without them…then that led me to the iron gate…which eventually led me here!

      Writing is very personal to me, its my release. It is where I get out of my system what confuses me, frightens me, puzzles me, or excites me. It is where I can pour my heart out and the revisit it when I am calm. Since meeting my Master it has become more focused with his setting of assignments to help me grow and develop, but it is still that essential core of release. my Master allows me to post freely as I need to, but does set assignments for me to explore. *smiles* I am not sure how I would cope if he ever forbade me to post freely!

      Writing is also a good way of being able to communicate sometimes the fears and frustrations I feel to my Master when I am too hung up to say it directly. Once written it cannot be un-wrote and I recognise for me personally that is a good thing. I know my Master sometimes sees within my writings needs, feelings,and issues that I am not aware of when I write.

      Good luck with your writing summerspet and if you ever feel like sharing, I would be interested in reading if its a blog!

      Again though, to reitterate because for me it cannot be said enough…

      Without this site many of us – including myself before meeting my Master – would still be floundering in the dark, wondering if what we feel inside is ‘normal’, if we are the only ones to feel like this, where to seek GOOD help and advice, and not get lost in the ether of the internet. This site is that lifeline, that place where you can get GOOD advice, GOOD discussions and start to realise you are not alone.
      I hope it continues for years to come.

      .-= dina´s last blog ..Fiction – The first week (part 2) =-.

      1. lunaKM


        1. Aeros Wraithe

          Aye, luna is to be applauded for this website which is what everyone needs to learn from and also as a means to help others as well. Well done luna!

        2. lunaKM

          Thank you for the kind words.

  7. ria

    i too would like to add my thanks to both dina and luna for the fabulous essay and this wonderful site where we can all learn and share. i would also like to thank dina’s Master for allowing her to share her talent for writing with us on such an emotional and personal matter.

    i am also a new kajira and have been lucky enough to find a Master who understands me better than i understand myself. In such a short time He has already helped to be grow and let go of past hurts. His patience with me and love for me inspires me each day to become the best slave i can be. my trust in Him grows with each moment spent with Him. It’s so nice to see that i am not alone in my need to surrender my all to Him, heart, mind, body, and soul, or in my need to please Him. He makes me feel complete and i want nothing more than to serve Him with the best i have to offer. i can no longer imagine life without Him or as the woman i was when i met Him. Peace is the perfect word to describe how it feels to be His kajira.

    Thank you all again.

  8. breagan


    i am also new to the BDSM way. i have been flicking through this site and i am really enjoying it.

    i wrote lots but deleted it

    i have enjoyed this section very much

    many thanks

  9. patina

    that was beautiful, inspiring and it was i something i have always wanted to say but could never find the right words to put together. She has read and lived our minds and souls for us to put it so elroquently.

    Thank you so much to both of you the one girl for writing it and the other girl for bringing it to out attention


  10. Eftie

    Thank you for posting this article. As I read your words my heart started pounding, my stomach got butterflies, and my eyes started to tear. A friend recommended I look into the Gor lifestyle a few weeks ago, but do not know much about it. I believe I was born to submissively serve. When I am owned and can experience the joy of submitting all of me, I feel the peace you describe. I have felt something is missing, though. It feels like there is more I crave and yearn to learn. I feel like I could be so much more, but I am not sure where to find that path. Your words encouraged me greatly. My life has been turned upside down, this year. It has been a rough one and has left me currently unowned. There is one I have an interest and he is a Gor Master (if that is the right term, still learning, Lol). I desire to learn more about it, as my heart wants to please him. Sometimes my heart hurts to please him. He is not my Master, but my thoughts have strayed down that road. He seems to know what I need, while I feel lost. Now my mind wonders if I am closer to finding a missing core of me that I so desire to find. Thank you again. Your words have blessed my heart!

  11. Confused_N_Scared

    I want to thank you for posting this article. I have to write an essay for my Master, It is nice to know that the way I feel is normal. This is the first time I have ever thought about any kind of submission or even considered being a Slave. I am scared because there is so much to take in, in just a short period of time. To unlearn all the conditioning we are taught growing up and accept fully the guidance of a Master is very difficult emotionally. I have never felt so many emotions which I can not place or put a name to them. When I am kneeling in front of my Master I am at peace and I am happy and when I away from my Master I become scared and frightened I will never see him again. The need to please my Master above all is so over whelming and at times I cry because these feelings confuse me. I am very lucky to have such an patient Master. Again thank you for posting this

  12. Annie


    This was absolutely beautiful. I can only absorb a small part of what you described, but it speaks to me, deeply.

    Thank you for writing this.


  13. Lucy

    This just left me one question? In this case do you have a safeword? Since you are totally surrender I guess not. Can somebody answer me please?

    1. lunaKM


      It depends on the relationship dynamics. I’ve surrendered to my Dominant but I still have a safeword because he can’t read my mind. I have a few health issues that can interfere in the middle of play and if I couldn’t break him out of his Dom space with a safe word then I’d be in a world of hurt too.

  14. Jewel

    Sorry dear, your a fool. I was also o ce a mns “slave”, well, as i grew older he ditched me for. Nice new toy. Dont waste you life serving another. You can an will be replaced, mark my words. And where do you end up after submitting all to some man, either dead or under intensive counselling like i id, to try and recover my sense of identity. Please dont throw away your life like this. Mn will talk out of their ass telling you how valuable you are to the, how “precious”, your sacrifice is…. Its all just hot air. Someone who truly loves you will not expect you to jump through hoops to earn their love. Thats conditinal love, and once their bored with you, theyll find someone else who cn o the same. Be loved for you, not for what you do or them.

  15. Kajira Alice

    What a beautiful “Love Letter” written from her heart. I love my Master the same and he is my heart & soul. I would be lost without him. Before we become as one and he collared me I had been on antidepressants and was so lonely inside. Thank God that He lead me to Master Lorenzo. I too am at peace.

    May my sisters be at peace with their Masters

    <3 Kajira Alice

Leave a Reply

Please respect the comment posting guidelines when adding a comment. Thank you.

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.

Use the coupon code SNOWSALE14 to get up to 40% off all Submissive Guide EbooksShop Now!