This video post is about how to deal with a submissive bout of PMS.
It’s not your normal run of the mill PMS. You don’t have cramps or bloating or headaches or chills, but your mood is so out of whack that you are getting in trouble just by opening your mouth. You don’t know where your submissive filter went, all you know is that it’s gone and you’re going to be paying for it with every utterance. This is submissive PMS. I suffer from it often and it’s something I’ve learned a few things from to make it easier to get through. Let’s help you out.
What’s the Big Deal?
I’m pretty certain most of you haven’t heard this term before and that’s because I just made it up. You won’t find submissive PMS in any dictionary (urban, BDSM or otherwise), but if you have been submissive for more than a few minutes you know exactly how I’m going to describe it. It starts with the sudden urge to just tell your Dominant to ‘go get it yourself!’ It can lead to mouthing off, acting pissy when there is no real reason behind and when confronted you can’t explain why you are feeling that way in the first place.
Confront It Dead On
A lot of times it’s obvious that you are entering sub PMS and you can work to stop it before it gets your butt in their sling. The moment you notice the ‘get it yourselfs’ creeping into your head, ask to remove yourself from the room or their presence and go refocus. If this means reading or blogging or meditating then go do it. I tend to get my catharsis from blogging but each person is going to find a different way to refocus. If you can identify an underlying thought or problem that caused the PMS you will want to talk to your Dominant about it. Never harbor feelings from your Dominant, even if you think they are trivial. It will help them help you. Win win in any case.
Apologize
After you have refocused, apologize to your Dominant for your slip in behavior or manners. They may not have even noticed it, but that’s not the purpose. The purpose is to make a mental note for you that you have corrected the behavior and are ready to continue serving. An apology is quite beneficial for that.
Resolve
You can’t prevent submissive PMS, but you can resolve to keep it in check. Make it a task to notice it before anyone else and correct it silently. Everyone has bad moods and off days, but our job as submissives and slaves is to make sure it doesn’t cloud our service. This of course is the hardest part. I’m still not there personally. I can’t recognize it sometimes and leave it to my Master noticing and correcting for me; usually not the way I wish it could be handled. Discipline yourself to make sure you can catch your backsliding and keep your backside from catching it for you.
My name is lunaKM and I’m a full-time stay-at-home submissive in a D/s relationship.
I started blogging when I was exploring D/s online in 2003. I needed advice, mentors and helping hands. Since then I've made it my mission to help novice submissives understand themselves and the services they wish to provide. 
I regularly suffer from submissive pms and sometimes it happens 2 or 3 times a month! Strange… :)
.-= subtle´s last blog ..I hereby declare it ICOMONYOU day =-.
Hi Luna,
Thanks for these excellent tips. I’m a guy, but I know exactly what you are talking about. I’ve been exploring D/S with my partner for about 2 years now, and I have definitely had those ‘go get it yourself’ days.
Thanks for all the useful into you post here.
-SGD
[...] to find my submission right now is a separate matter. I’ve been dealing with a huge case of Submissive PMS. I’ve not been able to get away to fix it since going to Panera for work day is not allowed [...]
i had discussed this article with Sir, and he thought it was a wonderful idea. i have felt this way from time to time and i would beat myself up saying i was becoming bratty. i know now that is not the problem, but just human nature. i thank you for wonderful advice on this site. it has been such a great help for me.
My version of submissive PMS is more subtle: i say things that in my head seem ok, even have Sir and Master on the end, but when they come out of my mouth suddenly have some implication i hadn’t considered and did not mean at all. i can’t even tell you how many times i have gotten in trouble that way.
How does one develop a submissive brain-to-mouth filter?
[...] Lately I’ve been “grounded” a lot for things that I’m doing that I know I’m not supposed to be doing. I don’t even realize I’m doing them until I do them. If that makes any sense at all. Last night, I pushed my boundaries a lot. I got upset over a joke that normally wouldn’t upset me and left the sim without permission. Master asked me what was wrong and I couldn’t really tell him, then it all came pouring out. For the longest time I was surrounded by stuff to do. I was always busy working for one group or another or school work. So, not having a job wasn’t noticeable since I had a full time job working for the groups we’re involved in, but then some of it goes away. First, I earn my diploma for digital design, which in turn meant school was gone. I was finally finished with it. Then one of the groups we’re active in eliminated a part of my job (which is fine with Master and me), but it left me without much to do other than work for our own group. Don’t get me wrong, that is my job…work for Master in our own group and have fun doing it…i.e. graphics. But after school was no longer an issue and the group I’m in eliminated the activity that I used to do, I was left without much to do, so I started pushing my boundaries. I don’t have a job, I don’t have any prospects for a job right now since there aren’t many jobs. I spent over 8 years in school taking classes to find that all my degrees are basically useless at this time because of the economy. The economy has hit me hard where a job is concerned. So, last night after we talked a bit, Master took me to a sim to kill some zombies! It was fun and I imagined every single melodramatic asshole that makes my game annoying and not fun anymore and I imagined shooting the economy in the nuts and all the other issues that sort of sneaked up on me and caused me to have a case of “Submissive PMS.” [...]