This week’s video is about online training and submission.
The world of online Dominance and submission is riddled with skepticism and disbelief that anyone can really live and enjoy a relationship online. The fact of it all is that there are an endless numbers of people experiencing a form of D/s called cyber D/s. Whether it be because they can not live it in real time due to partners that don’t understand, or they are exploring their sexuality safely a cyber relationship with a D/s feel is developed.
With being a cyber submissive comes online training. When I was an online submissive it was facilitated with a web cam and microphone for conversation and a long list of chat rooms that I would frequent. In these rooms I would participate in ritualized role play from serving drinks from an imaginary and well stocked bar to pole-dancing and playing in a fully stocked dungeon. Anything I wanted ‘experience’ was available to me.
But that wasn’t my main goal. I wanted a taste for what being a submissive was like. I longed for rules, and things to do that would keep me on task and I was even curious about discipline. I had an online Dominant that structured rules for me and set up daily tasks I had to do. At first they were mostly sexual in nature and I didn’t have a problem with that. Then they branched into maintaining my home, setting up a journal, emailing them everyday. My current Master and I started out online due to the distance between us. He set up personal grooming rules that I keep to this day.
The Dominant I was with in the beginning had me reading and studying a lot of different websites about different D/s and BDSM things. I was then to report back to him with what I learned as well as questions I had for him to answer. It was a great experience that he was so invested in my learning. While he wasn’t much for rules, he was a great mentor that I am very thankful for having in my life at one point.
The only way that training will work for a submissive is only if they do it. You have to hold a lot to the honor system. So it’s safe to assume that some people just pretend they did it and those people really aren’t in it like I was. There are submissives that will obey you and do all you request of them without needing proof that it was accomplished. For me, online D/s was the starting point for my learning.
Yes, online training can work if you both are honest with each other and trust that you will only get out of it what you put in. It goes without saying that the submissive who pretends to follow the rules will not get as much out of it and may hop from one online Dom to another while those that learn and grow honestly will develop deeper relationships and learning. Maybe one day moving to real time submission.
My name is lunaKM and I’m a full-time stay-at-home submissive in a D/s relationship.
I started blogging when I was exploring D/s online in 2003. I needed advice, mentors and helping hands. Since then I've made it my mission to help novice submissives understand themselves and the services they wish to provide. 
I have just recently gotten done with training online to be a slave to my master. I believe this works if the slave is willing to submit to things that they know they have done wrong and take the punishment that is told to them by the trainer to tell their master to do. If not then no the training will not work.
i believe like in any community there are small subsects that call to be picked on. In the gay community its bisexuals, in the BDSM community its Switches, and in the RT BDSM community its online submission. Can it work? of course it can depending on W/who is involved and how much T/they really truly desire to be. This has similarities to RT in the sense that there are submissives who claim to have training and seem as if they just walked in off the street. You can only get out what you put into it. The more you give of yourself, learn from the training, the more immersed you will become and the better you will serve Yours.
I loved this article, there are so many to read out there that sway from completely negative to ridicuously positive, the balance is brought together beautifully here. So often I have read and quite honestly felt hurt by comments on both aspects. We come to this point in our lives when we truly learn what we are deep inside. For myself, I have known how I was for a very long time, but unable to put a name to it for quite awhile. My marriage did not allow for behavior that reflected who I was, nor would ever be accepted as “appropriate”. I have since met my Dom online, and we have worked through many issues together. Of most importance as in any relationship regardless of D/s or M/s or vanilla is communication..and honesty…period… Once that is established then online training can bring a world of self revelation, personal reflection, growth and development, as long as both Dom and Sub are willing to go into it with their eyes wide open. For myself, I have finally realized deep down what I have known all along, I follow what My Master commands, rules, tasks, research and punishment, regardless of if I am online with him or offline in life outside of that realm, this is what I have chosen and I feel that I am a better person in what I learn from this, I serve mine as I should, I learn through him and feel a sense of peace within myself, I feel I am much better focused and I do better having his structure.
It doesnt mean it is easy, I take many steps to the positive and then one step back, as a constant struggle to better myself I look for perfection where there will never be, but I will continue to grow in him for both of us. I do an abundant amount of reading, an exorbent amount of writting, always trying to learn, I reflect on various learnings/teachings with My Master, I have a schedule that reflects various things I am required to do, such as meditation, tasks, clothing schedule i.e…what I can and cannot wear, Orgasm Control/Denial permissions..what I can and cannot use during and when I can/cannot. Any various dates I have appointments on and need a special time allowance from Master, as well as when/if Master will not be available. When there is nothing scheduled I am to take time to read/or bath things for me to relax and be the woman I am, as well as talk with friends and share my experience…I have met a very dear friend on here as a matter of fact and we learn together in so many ways, we can support eachother as friends and subs. All and all if you really want this and its truly who you are and you work for it, as nothing is easy and is never going to be handed to you on a plate, then YES, MOST DEFINATELY Online training can and DOES work.
I have been conducting an online D/s relationship on similar lines , wondered if we can correspond by e-mail…….maybe you can give me some tips from a subs point of view .
Howard
Feel free to send me an email using the contact link at the top of the website. I’d be happy to talk with you.
I am in an online M/s relationship. W/we started out as D/s and have grown into the M/s through my training and ability to process the different levels of knowledge and service required of me. My Master has brought me through so much and taught me invaluable lessons about myself and what I need and want. I keep a journal every day, sometimes several pages a day, and scan and email them to Him (hand written) each evening. I also do extensive research and I am constantly learning new ways to serve and new ideas. The reasons it works so well for U/us are, He gets in my mind and really connects with me through the journaling and tasking, I respond very well to His methods and I have come to trust Him completely and my willingness to serve equals my desire to learn and please. W/we have been talking for about a year and a half, and in that time went from casual talking to where W/we are now, with very intense dedication to this process. There is no room for fakery or half hearted submission in this relationship. Master takes this very seriously and has made that clear from the start. I, too, am very serious about this. W/we both have lives that do not allow this to be anything more than online/Long Distance for now, and it works for U/us. It works very well. Of course I do want to see Him and I will very soon, but as long as W/we are both putting forth the effort and dedication, this relationship is very fulfilling and has improved my life and well being immensely. I am a better person for it and I am completely His slave and have no desire to be anything else. The key is as you said before, realizing that there is a real life to be lived, and taking what you learn and being able to apply it as you go about your day. You need to have some separation and time away from the ‘online’ world. Learning to meld the two together was essential for me in making this work. I sincerely hope that other online submissives will find this post helpful and they, too are able to find the happiness I am so grateful for every day.