Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

This post was written by a guest contributor. Please see their details in the post above. Guest Authors are vital to Submissive Guide in providing varying viewpoints and different perspectives. If you'd like to guest post for Submissive Guide check out our Write for Subguide page for details about how YOU can share your tips with our community.

18 responses to “Cyber Submission and Exploring D/s Online”

  1. Lilly

    I like the online option. As someone new to the lifestyle it offers a safe avenue to learn and explore. Of course if I found someone I liked and trusted I would have no problem meeting them and practicing what I learn.

  2. Snowflake

    i have just recently come across this site and saw this post. i myself am involved in an online LDR D/s relationship and have been for quite some time. This article/post is one of the best ways i have seen such a relationship as my own defined clearly. And though i serve Mine as a submissive both in an online aspect as well as offline, i find it extremely fulfilling for U/us both. What i do tend to find though online is what i call or identify as “fisher price” submissives and Dom/mes. Submission in itself is a gift no matter how one chooses to give it be it online, an LDR, or a RT situation. It is always a gift and one should treat is as such. Just because online a Dom/me is nice to you for a bit does not mean you should rush out and attempt to wear a collar of One who is not worthy of your submission. Though the need to have that side fulfilled can sometimes overtake common sense, always do what is right for you, what is safe, and above all what fulfills you. i am honored and privilaged to belong to my Mistress, and even though it took a longtime to find the right fit for me, She was worth the wait

  3. surreyslave

    I appreciate what you are saying and i think it is very good advice. I made one fatal mistake when i was first found out to be submissive. I gave out my password to a female dom and within hours i had been robbed blind and that was after buying her a ticket to visit me in the uk. Pity sights like this were not around then i might still be wealthy. I also think what snowflake says about submission is a gift is exactly right. I have switched now and I am going through a very large learning curve that is why i joined here so i can get the knowledge from the very people that i eventually want to meet. If you cant help me through this curve no-one can. I look forward to hearing your comments etc

  4. Tiffany

    Very well written article. I’m currently involved in an online/ldr relationship. This is my very first time exploring this lifestyle and I’m very much still learning. I’m glad I stumbled across this site.

  5. Mags

    What names do women call their sub men? Men have so many names for women….We are both new to d/s but we both like to play each role. But when I am the Dom I don’t know what to call him.

  6. lunaKM

    I know a couple Dommes that use names that would emasculate them or degrade their masculine size. So things like sissy, whimp, pussy. Just a thought.

  7. Mistress Falana

    I, too, find this site an extremely invaluable tool. Yes, I am a Domme and I am also a Novice. I have had several offers from submissives to assist Me with My growth. To say that I am leery of this is an understatement. I prefer this site along with other resources because I have in the back of My mind that allowing My submissive to “train” Me is actually setting U/us up for a “top from the bottom” situation/mentality that will be difficult to break.

    This article is very helpful to Me in that I am in the process of setting up short-term LDRs that will transition to face to face relationships within the next 6 months. I had not a clue as to how to make these realtionships as authentic as possible so that not only are they mutually rewarding, but seamless in the transition phase.

    I especially liked the advice on how to recognize a predator. Without intending to, I have actually come across as one :) But I must defend at least one of the practices…

    I “request”, not “order,” the use of the honorific of “Mistress” simply because of Who I am. Albeit, I am not every submissives’ Mistress, a Mistress I am nontheless. In the same manner that I may not be everyone’s doctor, I am in fact still a doctor with all of the honors this entails.

    Some may think this is a “power” trip, I simply think of it as giving honor where honor is due as opposed to the meaning this title carries in the contracted, consensual relationship.

    For anyone choosing to come into My Service, it communicates from the beginning My expectation of the nature of O/our relationship.

    I look forward to future posts on successfully living out an LDR or even on the use of honorifics…again, not as an order, but as acknowledgment of the position One holds in the Lifestyle.

  8. Social Butterfly

    I do LDR submission because my dominant is deployed with the military. We talk, email, text, snail mail, etc., but transitioning a long term RL D/S relationship into a long distance one has its challenges. Many sites with suggestions for LDR relationships assume that they are online only or mostly from the beginning, while my dominant and I have been together in R/L for a few years prior to his deployment. It presents different challenges, I think, but I’m thankful for the information I have found on this site and hope that he and I can find some imaginative ways to maintain the D/S aspects of our relationship.

  9. SubmissiveHeart

    This is a great post! I’m in an LDR that has become a D/s LDR. We’ve been together for a year and plan to transition to RT as soon as we are able to. For us, it’s a matter of our circumstances and current locations. We just aren’t able to be together at this time, but we each feel the need to explore the lifestyle and learn about each others preferences. So far, it’s been an excellent learning opportunity and has been a lot of fun. It can be very satisfying, particularly if the couple is creative.

  10. Misknicks

    Well said…I do agree with giving honour where due but never as a powertrip, respect after all said and done is earned.

  11. Buzz

    Hi to you all, I have just started an online master slave relationship and my sweet
    slave has asked me to give her kinky tasks/assignments to do? she loves her butt
    plug and some bondage gear to wear in public but where she is really

    I need to give her some tasks or assignments to carry out and I am
    failing to come up with some ideas for assignments. Please can you

  12. lunaKM

    You might try Here’s one I found there that could help:

  13. BK

    I just came across this posting and would like to thank you for sharing. I am exploring the possibility of an online D/s relationship and these tips are helpful. How do you keep emotionally balanced with an online D/s relationship?

  14. Ann

    I’ve recently realized that the D/s lifestyle interests me very much (I’m pretty sure I’m a submissive) and, since I live in a very rural and conservative community, online submission is the only way to explore. This article is extremely helpful but exactly how do I go about find the right website? I’ve tried look at some but all of them seemed focused on finding someone for sex which, considering how new this is to me, doesn’t seem like a good place to start. Do you have any suggestions?

  15. Gagged

    Hi, I’m new to the lifestyle and am looking to be an online female slave to a Mistress. Which webistes would you recommend to find a Mistress?

  16. lunaKM

    Depends on your comfort level with dating sites, but is a big one for online interaction. You might have luck finding people on FetLife or iTaboo also.

  17. Kres

    I Agee with caution and sex involvement unfortunately seems to be foremost on so many things. I just wish I could find a teacher like at school who used to dish out the cane readily with a good lot of verbal tarade at the same time to add to the humiliation. Keeping things apart from a normal sanctuary of modern life may be wise but not always easy.

  18. silver claw

    Hello I am silver claw, I am a male wolf pup in an online ldr with my Alpha (Dom) and its about 6 months in. We are currently working toward moving it to a RT relationship with my first visit to him fast approaching for us both to check and discuss RT compatibility. Honestly he is the first Dominant I have trusted enough to even consider moving it to RT. When we met online even over the great distance between us something inside me clicked into place and we talked. The talking led to a virtual scene, text and avatar based, that took me deeper into sub space than I ever thought I could go. The next day we talked about how it had gone and when we finished I asked to be his pup, so far it has been one of the best decisions I’ve made. I think this article is a great starter for anyone starting or contemplating an online or long distance relationship. This website is a great resource to the community.

Leave a Reply

Please respect the comment posting guidelines when adding a comment. Thank you.

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.

Check Out Submissive Guide's Sister Site: Dominant Guide