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Why the Word ‘Training’ Confuses Novices
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The word ‘training’ is a stumbling block for many novices and experienced submissives alike. The reason for this is that so many define training as the organized learning of behavior and activities in structured sessions or steps and that once complete, your training is complete. Let’s dispel that myth right now. Submissive and slave training is not set up this way. It is far far different.
When you enter into a relationship with a Dominant it is very likely that the word training will come into it in a fashion like this;
- I will train you to serve me.
- You will undergo slave training.
- Have you had any training?
First let’s discuss what the word ‘training’ really means in a D/s dynamic setting. When you undergo training, what is really meant is that you are learning the mannerisms, behavior, attitude and activities that will please that Dominant. You never finish your training. Once you have learned the basics of what they wish from you, you can be sure that there will be advanced technique and finally anticipatory service. That’s right, training you do yourself to make sure you can provide for your Master’s needs before they appear to need them! There are so many levels of training, and that’s the beauty of it. You never stop learning.
If you leave one relationship and enter into another you should be prepared to unlearn some of the training you underwent with a previous Dominant. This is because not all Dominants like the same behaviors. Training is not universal, it is specialized and unique to each relationship. If a Dominant asks if you have been trained they really aren’t looking for a yes or no answer, they want specifics so that they know what they may want to use or to deprogram.
Once we learn with the word ‘training’ really means for us, then we can understand the context for which it is used in a BDSM situation. ~melly had a really good comment on another post here at Submissive Guide about training. Here is an excerpt. I recommend you go read the whole thing!
training isn’t final. it’s never-ending. and if someone tells me (upon contacting me as a domina, which i also am) “i’ve been trained” my first response is, “not to me, you haven’t.” i don’t want ANYONE to come into a relationship with ME thinking that what they learned in a previous relationship makes them more desirable, or that what they learned is even going to be preferable! and i certainly don’t want anyone thinking that prior “training” is required for them to be a perfectly good submissive or serviceperson.
What do you have to say about training? What is training to you?
1 Comment
Filed under BDSM Basics, Service
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I think this is what weirds me out so much about “online training groups/schools” the assumption that what this particular individual teaches you will somehow translate into you being a better submissive for someone else just reeks of something and it doesn’t smell of roses.
My current Master is training me to be the kind of girl HE desires and should, the gods forbid, we part then I’m sure I’d have to learn completely different behaviors for someone else. In the end, I hope to eventually be the kind of girl that pleases him above all others, but I know this will take time.
Kharis´s last blog ..Delving Deeper: Moving Past 101